Last week, I tried out ten new puns
To see if theyβd make people laugh... but no pun intended!
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︎ Jun 12 2020
Looking for a new pun tat
I already have a bee on my butt-cuz when I do the sizzle finger thing I say it stings beeing this hot
A pacifier on my middle finger- for the suckers
I am hoping to get a fly in a suit soon holding some jars of honey- cuz you can catch a fly with honey but you can catch more hunnys being fly
Any other ideas would be appreciated
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︎ Dec 16 2019
My wife asked if I was going to get new puns now that I'm a dad.
I told her the old ones just get grandfathered in.
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︎ Sep 10 2018
My new pun...
If you're a Muslim scholar on the side, would that be Allah carte?
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︎ May 15 2018
Comment with any new puns below
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︎ Mar 16 2018
Did you see the new puns subthread?
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︎ Jan 11 2016
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︎ Jul 25 2017
I asked my grandpa, βHow are you enjoying the new stair lift?β
Grandpa: I hate it. Itβs driving me up the wall.
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︎ Feb 08 2021
Boss: How's that new glue?
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︎ Jan 20 2021
Did you hear about the new bikini documentary?
Its a two part series that's quite revealing.
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︎ Feb 13 2021
I just heard there's a new Canadian strain of covid
People are showing up to the hospital eh-symptomatic
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︎ Feb 04 2021
Got ourselves a new forklift at work...
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︎ Feb 26 2021
Being the new guy can suck
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︎ Jan 25 2021
New here!
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︎ Feb 24 2021
Why do electricians listen to news radio when they work?
To keep up with current events.
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︎ Mar 05 2021
Everytime I buy a new house, I always spend $1,000 on the door.
That way, I always make a grand entrance.
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︎ Jan 15 2021
Got a new tattoo
My wife was complaining about how i'm not spontanious or creative, unless it involves terrible jokes, so i went out and got a tattoo (my first one). But since im not very creative i had them tattoo a pic of my thermos from work. I went home all excited and showed her my new tattoo! She was really confused about it. She looked at it for awhile and when she went to touch it i yelled at her not to touch the thermos tat. I think she's leaving me now :(
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︎ Nov 09 2020
Apple is making new cartoon boyfriends
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︎ Mar 06 2021
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︎ Feb 20 2021
A new level.
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︎ Nov 19 2020
Whenever I read the news
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︎ Feb 28 2021
I have good news and bad news. Which would you like first?
If good;
The good news is there is no bad news.
If bad;
The bad news is there is no good news.
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︎ Feb 13 2021
I've started a new band called "Blanket'
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︎ Dec 30 2020
I purchased a new kitchen sink and the delivery man never told me he left in on my doorstep. Sat there all day
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︎ Mar 04 2021
I named my dog "Happy New Year"
when I call him in every night, the neighbors think I've lost my mind
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︎ Feb 10 2021
My new girlfriend and I are both really into fitness, and I've got a really good feeling about us.
I just know we're going to workout.
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︎ Mar 02 2021
Johnson&Johnson just announced that M&M will be the spokesman for their new Covid vaccine commercial...
Cuz you only get one shot, do not miss your chance to go. This opportunity comes once in a lifetime.
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︎ Mar 01 2021
I'm watching that new movie with Angela Jolie...
I just don't know how she got into my house.
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︎ Feb 13 2021
My wife bought me a new shirt for my birthday!
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︎ Oct 10 2020
I gave my wife that new gorilla glue chapstick...π¦π
It left her speechless π€
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︎ Feb 25 2021
Iβve just booked a long weekend at a new Arable Farming theme park
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︎ Mar 02 2021
I had a dream that I invented a new color
But when I woke up I realized it was just a pigment of my imagination.
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︎ Feb 07 2021
I'm thinking on getting a new job.
Working in a mirror factory is something I could see myself doing.
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︎ Mar 08 2021
I once new a hooker. I asked her how she liked her job.
She said m eh. Thereβs a lot of coming and going.
Itβs an an in and out type of job.
Edit; knew* thank you.
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︎ Feb 24 2021
Tesla's don't have new car smell.
They have Elon MUSK
- My roomate
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︎ Feb 27 2021
After a Viagra salesman died from the effects of the drug, the company gifted his family a casket of a new, high-end material.
They call it mourning wood.
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︎ Feb 15 2021
What was your new years resolution?
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︎ Mar 09 2021
What did Paul McCartney say when he met Johnβs new girlfriend?
Ono, Ono, Ono no no no...
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︎ Mar 04 2021
need your help to find new multipuns
A while ago i stumbled upon this 4in1 pun:
It's a TV show featuring a motorcycle gang full of bisexual royal norsemen called
Bikings
Mighty redditors can you help me to find more of this kind of multi puns?
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︎ Feb 15 2021
I've been using my new U2 navigation system this week and it's the worst...
The streets have no name and I still haven't found what I'm looking for!
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︎ Jan 17 2021
Just accepted new job at a bicycle factory
Gonna be their spokes person
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︎ Jan 29 2021
Have you guys checked the news today?
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︎ Feb 17 2021
Have you heard about the new corduroy pillow?
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︎ Feb 24 2021
What's new?
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︎ Feb 27 2021
What's your new years resolution?
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︎ Feb 24 2021
In light of his record with these mega-projects, Elon Musk's proposed new Miami-tunnel gives new meaning to the term
"car-pool tunnel syndrome."
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︎ Feb 15 2021
If a father in Iraq gifts his daughter a new bag, what will she say?
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︎ Sep 23 2020
Saw a post that said "I'm looking for a new hairdresser".
How trusting. I look for experienced ones myself.
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︎ Feb 28 2021
I am shopping for a new oven.
I want to get one that comes pre-heated.
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︎ Feb 26 2021
We just bought our new dream house and as I was showing our daughter around for the first time, she asked excitedly, "What's upstairs!?" I chuckled and replied, "Awwwww sweetie...."
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︎ Sep 01 2020
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