8 y/o, "Dad, what does the space needle sew?"
Me, "I dunno, what?"
Her, "The fabric of space time!"
She told me that while we were watching the new years show at the space needle lol.
Sorry I've been so quiet here today. I've been keeping a close eye on the local news. Apparently there's a lad going around stabbing people with knitting needles.
Police say he may be following a pattern.
Scientists have developed a microscopic needle that is too small to be seen by the naked eye...
I just don't see the point.
What's a needle's favorite Hawaiian food?
What does a blind woman say when she gets to the top of the Space Needle?
Nothing, cause she can't Seattle.
There is no point in adding an extra 's' to the word needles.
Had to have blood taken today. Staff tried to put needle in but didn't go into the blood vessel.
So since it didn't go in the vein, it was in vain
There's a nutcase going around our town stabbing people with knitting needles.
Twelve individuals have been attacked in the last 48 hours.
The Police have announced that the attacker could be following some kind of pattern
Needles-s to say, a pun that's worth a shot
I hate to say it but I'm not a huge fan of donating blood. I guess its cuz needles really get under my skin. But at least its not all in vein.
My friend moved to the Himalayas so he could go around jabbing wild oxen with needles
He practices yakupuncture.
After debating with a needle
I recently visited Washington state for the first time. Much to my surprise, it ended up being a warm and sunny day when I arrived! Put on a tank top, threw on some shades, and picked up an iced latte. I took a stroll through the park near the Space Needle and had a wonderful time.
I guess you could say I was sleeveless in Seattle
I protested doctors sticking needles in my body
I saw a communist who was up for his Hepatitis shot. He was telling stories to the doctor out of fear of needles.
The doctor said “Quit Stalin”
Were you vaccinated with a phonograph needle?
Because it's been 15 minutes and you haven't stopped talking!
(This is a joke my dad said to me last night. He's 85 and in failing health so to hear him crack this joke really made me laugh & smile. Then this morning he called me saying he couldn't sleep last night because he worried the joke offended me. I told him hell no...it was hilarious! I love my dad!)
Why did the balloon go near the needle?
He wanted to be a pop star.
Where do the needle and thread go on a hot summer's day?
I asked my anaesthetist whether I can administer the needle myself.
She said, “ Sure. Knock yourself out.”
I used to have a cripling fear of needles
Needles to say it was a tough time of my life
I don't know why I'm scared of needles.
It just gets under my skin.
I was arguing with a deaf guy yesterday because he didn’t want to buy my sowing needles.
I thought I had some good points, but he wasn’t hearing it.
My gran only talks when I buy her a needle and thread. I guess I'm her little helper...
It's the size of a needle, but it moves like a sewing machine.
Aztec space needle upheaval
I got a new job at the needle factory and I'm frequently late getting home
I get stuck at work a lot.
Why did the man quit his job as a needle tester.
He just couldn’t see the point anymore.
What's the appeal of round-tipped knitting needles?
Dad joked my girlfriend today when she told me she purchased some needles
Girlfriend: I bought some new needles at target earlier.
Me: That's cool baby. Are they good needles or are they just....sew sew.
Lovely needles. This packet of needles is lovely. As the saying goes: "You've got to be crewel to be kind."
i.reddituploads.com/b8650…
What happens when you stick a needle to a unicorn balloon?
Bear with the ins and outs of this needle and thread joke.
You'll sew be left in stitches.
Edit: phrasing
Dadjoked my wife when she purchased 2-packs of inflating needles so my son could pump up his soccer balls.
Wife: Last time I bought these, they were packaged 3 to a pack, but now they only come 2 per pack.
Me: Sheesh....talk about inflation.
Needles to say nobody but him laughed
So my mom just told my dad easy on the wine.
His response was puring wine into the glass slower. Classic dad.
Have you guys heard about the new see-through sewing needles?
I just don't see the point.
I told my Uncle John that Isaac Newton once stuck a darning needle behind his eyeball to test a hypothesis about optics.
He won't stop referring to him as Eye-Stick Newton.
I hate needles. They always get under my skin.
Why did the balloon go near the needle?
He wanted to be a pop star.
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