It's the size of a needle, but it moves like a sewing machine.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hellABunk
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25 2018
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Have you guys heard about the new see-through sewing needles?

I just don't see the point.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/UltimaGabe
πŸ“…︎ Jul 30 2014
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I have a friend who writes songs about sewing machines.

He's a Singer songwriter, or sew it seams.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BastetLXIX
πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2020
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it's pwoven
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Banoooooooo
πŸ“…︎ Sep 10 2020
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Some Christmas Dad Jokes

Why are Santas reindeer generally drenched with water?

Because they are rain-deer.

Why did Santa have to visit the psychologist?

He had low elf esteem.

source

Why are Christmas trees so uncoordinated when it comes to sewing?

They always drop their needles.

What do you get when you cross a snowman with a hungry mosquito?

Frostbite

​What did Adam say to Eve on the night before Christmas day?

It's Christmas Eve!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bmantis311
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2020
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I need help with my sewing

Oops, wrong thread.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dandan_56
πŸ“…︎ Aug 23 2019
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I sat down to sew and wouldntchayknow it, the machine is broken.

Guess that was my last stitch effort.

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πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2019
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Punny suggestions for an embroidery facebook page?

I want to start a page to post my embroidery projects in. Give me some puns about needles/floss/hoops and any other sewing and embroidery ideas.

Thanks!

Link to some of my work: https://imgur.com/gallery/DDBmG

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πŸ‘€︎ u/409latte
πŸ“…︎ Jun 08 2017
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While on shore leave, Captain Picard intends to fix a hole in his uniform the old fashioned way.

Without any replicators on the family orchard, he decides to do it analogue with his brother's old sewing machine.

He puts a thread through the needle, his uniform underneath, and switches it on. It whirs and grunts out clunking noises before being switched back off.

"Robert your machine is broken!"

"What do you want me to do about it, Jean-Luc?"

"I need you to make it sew!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MightyOtaku
πŸ“…︎ Dec 13 2018
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I have this book on beds

I read it from cover to cover

Followed by: I have another book on sewing

It kept me on pins and needles

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Zman613
πŸ“…︎ Aug 14 2018
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Dad joked my girlfriend today when she told me she purchased some needles

Girlfriend: I bought some new needles at target earlier. Me: That's cool baby. Are they good needles or are they just....sew sew.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ohlawdjeezeus
πŸ“…︎ Jun 24 2014
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Dad-Son joke combo

At dinner, my mom was telling us a story of one of her kids (she works as a teacher) and how she accidentally sewed some string into her pants. This followed:

Me: Wow, that's sew funny!

Dad: Needle-less to say, I hope she was alright

Me: You have a point there

I don't believe anything else was said after that

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Norskey
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2014
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