My friend writes songs about sewing machines.

He's a Singer songwriter. Or sew it seams.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/GreatGreenGobbo
πŸ“…︎ Mar 23 2021
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According to my sewing instructor, I'm easily the worst student she's ever had.

Oops... sorry, wrong thread !

πŸ‘︎ 44
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HugoZHackenbush2
πŸ“…︎ Feb 08 2021
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My wife has begun writing songs about her sewing machine

She wants to be a Singer-songwriter, or sew it seams.

πŸ‘︎ 81
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hotcheetopuffs
πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2020
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What did the nun say as she sat down at the sewing machine?

This could be habit forming.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ“…︎ Sep 01 2020
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Yesterday was national sewing day..

.. or so it seams

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πŸ‘€︎ u/drk311
πŸ“…︎ Jun 04 2020
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I've got a date with a woman form the sewing machine factory.

She seams nice

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cotswoldboy
πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2019
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Why are pine trees bad at sewing?

They always drop their needles!!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/shooception
πŸ“…︎ Dec 27 2019
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I thought my girlfriend looked like she wanted to get back into sewing clothes...

At least that's the way she seamed...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Feb 27 2020
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I was using my sewing machine the other day and started making musical notes, then i realized....

I'm a Singer songwriter

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bullet_Catcher
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2019
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I shoplifted a sewing machine yesterday but I’m really regretting it.

It just doesn’t seam right.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Gear99
πŸ“…︎ Dec 04 2019
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Why did the woman felt uncomfortable whilst sewing

Because she seamstressed

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πŸ‘€︎ u/shinoobie96
πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2019
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I recently took a job writing jingles for a sewing machine company.

I’m a Singer songwriter.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Apr 28 2019
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I saw a raccoon with a sewing machine, I asked my wife "Does that raccoon know how to sew?"

She said, "That's how it seams"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheFifthStep
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2018
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Why arent sewing classes called heminars?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bowiesrevenge
πŸ“…︎ Aug 12 2018
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Three sewing machines walk into a bar

The first says to the second, β€œAre you a Singer?”

The second replies, β€œWhy, Janome?”

The third remarks, β€œOh, Brother!”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PKMKII
πŸ“…︎ Apr 25 2019
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I knew a tailor who was depressed before he went to sewing school

He seams better now

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πŸ‘€︎ u/EnochChell
πŸ“…︎ May 06 2018
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I thought about cracking a joke to my wife’s sewing club, but decided against it.

They were already in stitches.

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πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2018
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My wife’s sewing machine isn’t working right

Not sure what’s wrong, it just seams a little off.

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πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2017
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Have you heard of the Roman god of sewing?

His name is Uripides (you rippa dees)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/royaj77
πŸ“…︎ Feb 01 2018
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It's the size of a needle, but it moves like a sewing machine.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hellABunk
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25 2018
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What organization is best at helping people with all of their sewing and stitching projects?

The ThRed Cross.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sr_ChalupaBatman
πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2018
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Did you hear about the woman who won first place in a sewing contest without using any thread?

Her performance was seamless.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mighty_alicorn
πŸ“…︎ Aug 06 2018
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Epic Pun Battle: Sewing
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DaxHalo
πŸ“…︎ Apr 10 2015
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I bought my wife a used industrial sewing machine the other day. I asked if she liked it and she told me she's only used it once

But it seems strong

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πŸ‘€︎ u/rTheWorst
πŸ“…︎ Mar 05 2018
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My friend got mad at me yesterday and I don't know why. He had just picked up a sewing machine and was telling me how exited he was to start sewing, so naturally I asked:

Sew what?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ineverreadit
πŸ“…︎ Jun 12 2017
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The Wife: "I got a side job sewing infinity scarves."

Me: When will it end?

Wife: What do you mean?

She laughed a minute later.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/iciclebeard
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2014
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Have you guys heard about the new see-through sewing needles?

I just don't see the point.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/UltimaGabe
πŸ“…︎ Jul 30 2014
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I have a friend who writes songs about sewing machines.

He's a Singer songwriter, or sew it seams.

πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BastetLXIX
πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2020
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My friend composes songs about sewing machines

He's a Singer songwriter or sew it seams.

πŸ‘︎ 61
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πŸ‘€︎ u/inLikeCyn
πŸ“…︎ Oct 10 2020
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My sewing instructor just told me that I’m the worst student she has ever seen.

Shit. Wrong thread.

πŸ‘︎ 14k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02 2020
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My mate composes songs about sewing machines.

He's a Singer songwriter, sew it seams.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Brucemoose1
πŸ“…︎ Oct 04 2020
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My friend composes songs about sewing machines.

He's a Singer songwriter or sew it seams...

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/chown-root
πŸ“…︎ Oct 06 2020
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My sewing instructor thinks I’m the worst student she has ever seen.

Shit, wrong thread.

πŸ‘︎ 57
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jul 30 2020
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I write songs about sewing machines !

I'm a singer songwriter

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Aug 26 2020
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I need help with my sewing

Oops, wrong thread.

πŸ‘︎ 6k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dandan_56
πŸ“…︎ Aug 23 2019
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I need help with my sewing

oops, wrong thread...

πŸ‘︎ 48
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πŸ‘€︎ u/epicgamerjoshy67
πŸ“…︎ Aug 23 2019
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I write songs about sewing machines.

I'm a Singer songwriter.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MagicGuy66
πŸ“…︎ May 16 2020
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Everyone in my sewing class thinks I’m the worst they have ever seen.

Oops, wrong thread!

πŸ‘︎ 165
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Sep 03 2019
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I write songs about sewing machines...

I’m a Singer songwriter.

πŸ‘︎ 47
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πŸ‘€︎ u/I_MADMAN
πŸ“…︎ Feb 16 2020
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I write songs about sewing machines.

I'm a singer songwriter.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RayInRed
πŸ“…︎ Feb 20 2020
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my friend writes tunes about sewing machines

she's a Singer songwriter

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Scruluce
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2019
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Why did the nun become addicted to sewing?

It was habit forming

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CloseQtrsWombat
πŸ“…︎ Jul 23 2017
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