I love lilo and stitch and puns so I made this
π︎ 4
π
︎ Apr 25 2021
Why was Stitch obsessed with stealing everyoneβs left shoe?
Because Jumba believed everyone should start the day off on the right foot
π︎ 4
π
︎ Apr 14 2021
What do you say when someone wants to stitch their own wound?
π︎ 10
π
︎ May 13 2020
My latest cross stitch creations
π︎ 831
π
︎ May 24 2018
The other day I walked into my son's room and found him with an open first aid kit, preparing to stitch up a cut on his forearm.
I told him to stop and that I would take him to the doctor for a more rofessional job. He told me he wanted to do it as he was working on his first aid merit badge for the boy scouts. So I said, "Suture self."
π︎ 14
π
︎ Mar 14 2020
Nurse: Wow, that cut looks pretty bad...want me to stitch it up for you?
Me: No, thanks.
Nurse: Fine. Suture self...
π︎ 95
π
︎ Oct 31 2019
At the surgery this bloke told me "I don't trust you to stitch my wound" "
π︎ 9
π
︎ Nov 17 2019
I told the doctor at the ER that I could do my own stitch work.
He replied βOkay, suture selfβ
π︎ 93
π
︎ Mar 18 2019
So, you donβt trust a doctor to stitch you up?
π︎ 3
π
︎ Nov 16 2019
Stitch N Bitch
π︎ 6
π
︎ Jan 22 2019
Two doctors are out hiking and the first one trips and cuts his knee pretty badly on a rock. The second doctor says, "That looks pretty bad. Want me to stitch that up for you?" The first doctor says, "Nah, I got it."
The second doctor responds, "Suture self."
π︎ 8
π
︎ May 24 2019
The other day I had a patient who didnβt want to let me stitch up his laceration. Well fine...
π︎ 19
π
︎ Jan 30 2019
My friends dad is quite the stitch.
Talking to her dad about pumpkin cheesecake cookies
Friend: "They are here for a limited time only."
Her dad: "Well yeah of course once you eat them they are gone."
π︎ 1k
π
︎ Dec 07 2013
π︎ 16
π
︎ Apr 24 2015
A stitch in time
Out to lunch with a friend when he noticed a button was coming lose from his jacket.
Me: "you should learn how to sew, I've saved so much..."
Him: "so many"
Me: "yes, I do sew many clothes"
π︎ 4
π
︎ Nov 16 2014
This left me in stitches...
π︎ 3k
π
︎ Dec 21 2020
This card had me in stitches.
π︎ 17
π
︎ Mar 22 2021
Todayβs Argyle Sweater had meβ¦ in stitches.
π︎ 27
π
︎ Jan 27 2021
I told me my doctor I didnβt want her to give me stitches.
She said βfine, suture self.β
π︎ 13
π
︎ Dec 15 2020
I spent a solid month stitching together old wristwatches to make a belt
It was a waist of time...
π︎ 27
π
︎ Jan 13 2021
I had myself in stitches thinking this pun up
π︎ 23
π
︎ Aug 25 2020
My friend writes songs about sewing machines.
He's a Singer songwriter. Or sew it seams.
π︎ 173
π
︎ Mar 23 2021
We all know that Albert Einstein was a genius...
But very few people know his brother Frank was a monster.
π︎ 14k
π
︎ Nov 28 2020
Proud dad moment
We got our daughter a craft table for her 11th Birthday this past weekend. She also got the sewing machine too.
With gratitude, she smiles and says with a wink, βThat is sew coolβ.
π︎ 15
π
︎ May 10 2021
Iβm really into stitching food puns now! ππβΊοΈ
π︎ 9
π
︎ Jun 27 2020
Embroidery / Needlework Puns
Does anyone know any Embroidery puns or puns relating to stitching, needle, thread, hoops.?
π︎ 2
π
︎ Mar 21 2021
My sister cross stitched this for me for Christmas.
π︎ 7
π
︎ Oct 16 2019
What did the doctor say to his patient that wanted to do his own stitches?
π︎ 278
π
︎ Jun 13 2019
True Story: tonight my wife was making dinner and she was using some fresh peas. She dropped some on the floor.
My 4 year old said βmummy, youβve peeβd on the floorβ
Needless to say I was in stitches.
π︎ 24
π
︎ Mar 03 2021
Have you heard the one about the Surgeon?
It'll leave you in stitches
π︎ 10
π
︎ Mar 27 2021
The lady who hems my pants appeared anxious...
In fact, I know she seamstressed
π︎ 179
π
︎ Jan 03 2021
I invented an at home kit for giving yourself stitches.
I'm calling it Suture Self.
π︎ 7
π
︎ Dec 20 2019
My friend always wears this jacket which has LED lights stitched onto the back.
He is such a LED-back person.
π︎ 4
π
︎ Jun 15 2019
I was in A&E with a bad cut. I asked the nurse if I could do my own stitches. She said βsuture selfβ.
π︎ 37
π
︎ Sep 05 2019
My urologist and I kept joking around during my last visit.
π︎ 8
π
︎ Dec 21 2020
My sewing instructor just told me that Iβm the worst student she has ever seen.
π︎ 14k
π
︎ Jan 02 2020
I once went to work drunk and put too many double or multiple folds in a garment or other item made of cloth, held by stitching at the top or side.
It was replete with pleats.
π︎ 2
π
︎ Jan 22 2019
What organization is best at helping people with all of their sewing and stitching projects?
π︎ 4
π
︎ Sep 22 2018
My mother is a gangster
She doesn't say "I'm going to mend your trousers", she says "britches get stitches".
π︎ 5
π
︎ Oct 16 2020
I feel a bit bad for making blanket statements.....
They're my quilty pleasure
π︎ 25
π
︎ Apr 12 2020
I need help with my sewing
π︎ 47
π
︎ Aug 23 2019
Did you here about the man who fell into an upholstery machine?
π︎ 3
π
︎ Jun 04 2020
Grandpa had me in stitches with this one.
So we're at a T-shirt shop when he looks over at the tank tops.
Grandpa: Must be an awfully small tank if that's the top for it.
π︎ 18
π
︎ Dec 17 2013
I've got a date with a woman form the sewing machine factory.
π︎ 44
π
︎ Oct 24 2019
I was about to stitch up her wound but she insisted she do it herself.
"Fine," i said. "Suture self."
π︎ 8
π
︎ Aug 06 2019
What did the doctor say to the patient who wanted to do their own stitches?
π︎ 3
π
︎ Dec 29 2018
I got fired from my job of making a double or multiple fold in a garment or other item made of cloth, held by stitching the top or side.
π︎ 2
π
︎ Jan 22 2019
Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.
