All these conspiracy theorists just spinning yarns.

They are nothing but loom and doom.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BandDirector17
πŸ“…︎ Jul 24
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Cutting yarn is a piece of cake gfycat.com/scientificinfa…
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheScarletGuard
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2019
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what do you call it when someone is indecisive about which yarn to buy?

knit-picky

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πŸ‘€︎ u/greatreference
πŸ“…︎ Dec 21 2019
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I have a piece of yarn hanging from one corner of my room to the other.

I think it really ties the room together.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/P1eman
πŸ“…︎ Sep 30 2015
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Dadjoking my girlfriend while she spins fiber into yarn.

Girlfriend sits down at spinning wheel to spin fiber into yarn.

"I think I'm going to spin for a while."

"Don't get dizzy."

commence groaning

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Gehalgod
πŸ“…︎ Aug 19 2014
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There's a nutcase going around our town stabbing people with knitting needles.

Twelve individuals have been attacked in the last 48 hours.

The Police have announced that the attacker could be following some kind of pattern

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07
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You guys want to hear a joke about cloth?

It’s quite the yarn.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RedShirtCashion
πŸ“…︎ Jul 10
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I need help with my sewing

Oops, wrong thread.

πŸ‘︎ 6k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dandan_56
πŸ“…︎ Aug 23 2019
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Did y'all hear about that man who said he made thread for a living?

It turns out he was just spinning a yarn

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AcceptableBook
πŸ“…︎ Feb 10
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My grandpa likes to tell tales of socks he's mended...

When he starts in, everyone groans, "not another darn yarn!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Oct 19 2019
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Calling all pun masters: Voting closes in a few days!
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πŸ‘€︎ u/albusbumblecore
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09 2019
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I know someone who's really good at crochet jokes

We all call him a knit-wit

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πŸ‘€︎ u/weird_al_yankee
πŸ“…︎ Mar 01 2019
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mairiphinc
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29 2017
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Everyone is wearing ugly Christmas sweaters,

sweater you like it or not.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BioSlothInfinite
πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2015
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Heard this gem today at a craft store with my fiancΓ©e

We were looking for twine or something in the yarn section and this dad walks by with his two daughters, gives a huge yawn, and says, "WOW! That was a huge yarn" and then began to start chuckling uncontrollably.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/wsmith27
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12 2014
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A Volley of Knitting Puns

My wife was teaching her best friend how to knit. She was doing quite well but for some extra encouragement I said:

"The basics are simple enough. It's when you get into the knitty gritty that things start to unravel.

Wife and friend shake their heads, so I say "Sorry, I didn't mean for my purls of wisdom to needle you."

More groans...

"Still," I said, "at least I kept it short and sweet. I mean, I could've spun you a proper yarn."

Wife to friend: "Right, pass me that soddin' knitting needle...!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/32768Colours
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05 2016
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After I bored her with one of my longwinded tales...

FiancΓ©e: You just love telling stories don't you? You're such a storyteller. I bet if you found a piece of string laying on the ground you'd tell me a story about that too.

Me: You're right, if I found a string on the ground I'd probably spin quite the yarn.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cheevocabra
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2013
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