Yarn Puns

It’s our family hair loom.

Sorry wrong thread

She had a litter of mittens.

They are nothing but loom and doom.

knit-picky

It was found to be crewel and unusual punishment.

I think it really ties the room together.

Girlfriend sits down at spinning wheel to spin fiber into yarn.

"I think I'm going to spin for a while."

"Don't get dizzy."

commence groaning

Oops, wrong thread.

Twelve individuals have been attacked in the last 48 hours.

The Police have announced that the attacker could be following some kind of pattern

They told me that recently they had come into ownership of a small ball of string. At first, they thought nothing of it. One day, they walked into their house and the ball of string was on the table, when they had specifically left it in a closet. They put it away again, but the next day when they came home from work, the ball was on the table again. It kept happening, and eventually it became a sort of game for my friend. They'd leave it somewhere they thought it could never come back from, and return to find it on their table.

Then it began to appear in other places.

It appeared in the middle of a company meeting. One moment, the table was empty, the next, it had a ball of string in the middle. While driving, they spotted it in the back of their car. They saw it inside of a vending machine. But at the end of every day it would return to their table.

Eventually, my friend decided enough was enough. They took the string, and threw it off a bridge into a river. As they were driving home, a car swerved and hit them, wrecking both cars. My friend staggered to check on the other driver, and all he found was a small pile of soggy string on the seat.

After that, he never saw the string again.

So after he told me this tale, I turned to him, and said, "Wow... that was quite a yarn."

Some selfishly thought minecraft was better than yarncraft.

It’s quite the yarn.

It turns out he was just spinning a yarn

When he starts in, everyone groans, "not another darn yarn!"

We all call him a knit-wit

We were looking for twine or something in the yarn section and this dad walks by with his two daughters, gives a huge yawn, and says, "WOW! That was a huge yarn" and then began to start chuckling uncontrollably.

sweater you like it or not.

Fiancée: You just love telling stories don't you? You're such a storyteller. I bet if you found a piece of string laying on the ground you'd tell me a story about that too.

Me: You're right, if I found a string on the ground I'd probably spin quite the yarn.

When my great granddad went bald, he built a machine to weave himself a wig out of yarn. He then gave it to my granddad, who then gave it to my dad, and one day, it will be mine.

It's our family hair loom. :D