My wife was teaching her best friend how to knit. She was doing quite well but for some extra encouragement I said:
"The basics are simple enough. It's when you get into the knitty gritty that things start to unravel.
Wife and friend shake their heads, so I say "Sorry, I didn't mean for my purls of wisdom to needle you."
More groans...
"Still," I said, "at least I kept it short and sweet. I mean, I could've spun you a proper yarn."
Wife to friend: "Right, pass me that soddin' knitting needle...!"
Police say he may be following a pattern.
Sorry wrong thread
Twelve individuals have been attacked in the last 48 hours.
The Police have announced that the attacker could be following some kind of pattern
I have seen all the patterns.
Because they always drop their needles... Ho Ho Ho!
but it's knot.
They call me Scarf Ace
Woman shouts back, "no actually, its a scarf."
They seem pointless.
She wrapped it around her neck, and got her mouth and nose covered as well:
Me: Hey, you look like a wooligan!
She: ... (glaring..) and you look awfully proud of yourself.
Indeed I was.
I was about a fourth of the way through knitting a scarf, and I turned to my friend and said, "Damn, I'll never finish this by Wednesday...unless....I PULL AN ALL-KNITTER!" She was very disappointed, and I felt ready for fatherhood.
...is that I've heard once you've tried it, you're hooked.
Because they share a special Bond.
She seamed surprised.
Glancing at the car he was astounded to see that the elderly woman behind the wheel was knitting
The trooper crank down his window and yelled to the driver “pull over”
“No!” yelled the woman “it’s a cardigan”
Sew watt?
is a mitten knit.
He had to...Steel wool.
It's a stocking cap.
Gee you knit!
Whoops, wrong thread.
I told the cop it’s my first time knitting, so I’m pretty slow at it.
Me: Sew it seams.
Amazing, I didn't even know they could knit.
I didn't even know they could knit!
She's knot your average lady!
She was disgusted, and told me she didn't want the Knit-ty Gritty details.
knit-picky
She's a real knit picker.
We all call him a knit-wit
He said, knit
We were talking about European history and this happened. Me: You know how Austria and Hungary used to be combined but split? Him: Yeah, but I heard that they aren't called Hungary anymore. Me: What do you mean? Him: I guess they ate.
I squinted at him, and then realized that he just produced perfect dadjoke material.
They always drop their needles.
I didn't even know they could knit!
I didn't know they could knit!
That’s amazing. I didn’t even know they could knit.
