Sorry I've been so quiet here today. I've been keeping a close eye on the local news. Apparently there's a lad going around stabbing people with knitting needles.
Police say he may be following a pattern.
There's a nutcase going around our town stabbing people with knitting needles.
Twelve individuals have been attacked in the last 48 hours.
The Police have announced that the attacker could be following some kind of pattern
What's the appeal of round-tipped knitting needles?
They seem pointless.
A Volley of Knitting Puns
My wife was teaching her best friend how to knit. She was doing quite well but for some extra encouragement I said:
"The basics are simple enough. It's when you get into the knitty gritty that things start to unravel.
Wife and friend shake their heads, so I say "Sorry, I didn't mean for my purls of wisdom to needle you."
More groans...
"Still," I said, "at least I kept it short and sweet. I mean, I could've spun you a proper yarn."
Wife to friend: "Right, pass me that soddin' knitting needle...!"
