Don’t talk to me while I’m trying to sew this small rip.
Guess that sews up the case!
I sat down to sew and wouldntchayknow it, the machine is broken.
Guess that was my last stitch effort.
My sister was hired to sew 8 bridesmaid dresses by Saturday. . .
She seamstressed but she’ll get it done. However her skills are only sew sew.
To the EM who told me not to sew up your child's leg: Suture Self
I saw a raccoon with a sewing machine, I asked my wife "Does that raccoon know how to sew?"
She said, "That's how it seams"
What do you call a bird that sews?
Wife: "... that reminds me that I have to sew your pants when we get back"
Me: "Just let me know when you do so I can go ahead and reap them."
I have a friend who writes songs about sewing machines.
He's a Singer songwriter, or sew it seams.
A pediatric surgeon sewed his kids together as a new form of punishment.
If you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em.
My wife has begun writing songs about her sewing machine
She wants to be a Singer-songwriter, or sew it seams.
My friend composes songs about sewing machines
He's a Singer songwriter or sew it seams.
Before my surgery today, the anesthesiologist asked if I'd like to be knocked out with gas or he could just hit me over the head with a canoe paddle. So I guess it was...
...an ether/oar situation...
My mate composes songs about sewing machines.
He's a Singer songwriter, sew it seams.
This left me in stitches...
My sewing instructor thinks I’m the worst student she has ever seen.
I write songs about sewing machines !
What did the nun say as she sat down at the sewing machine?
This could be habit forming.
I need help with my sewing
Yesterday was national sewing day..
I write songs about sewing machines...
I've got a date with a woman form the sewing machine factory.
Why are pine trees bad at sewing?
They always drop their needles!!
Everyone in my sewing class thinks I’m the worst they have ever seen.
I tried to be a tailor...
but I just wasn't suited for it...mainly because it was a sew-sew job.
I thought my girlfriend looked like she wanted to get back into sewing clothes...
At least that's the way she seamed...
My daughter was having a pretend dinner party with her teddy bear, when she asked, “Do you want anything to eat, Mr. Bear?” In my best bear voice, I replied...
“No thanks, I’m stuffed!"
I was using my sewing machine the other day and started making musical notes, then i realized....
I shoplifted a sewing machine yesterday but I’m really regretting it.
It just doesn’t seam right.
How did the farmer find his wife?
Lawyer vs. Tailor
Tailor: you said the there was one hole the pocket only, there are definitely more!
Lawyer: I lied, sew me!
Some Christmas Dad Jokes
Why are Santas reindeer generally drenched with water?
Because they are rain-deer.
Why did Santa have to visit the psychologist?
He had low elf esteem.
source
Why are Christmas trees so uncoordinated when it comes to sewing?
They always drop their needles.
What do you get when you cross a snowman with a hungry mosquito?
Frostbite
What did Adam say to Eve on the night before Christmas day?
It's Christmas Eve!
My mother is a gangster
She doesn't say "I'm going to mend your trousers", she says "britches get stitches".
Why did the woman felt uncomfortable whilst sewing
I recently took a job writing jingles for a sewing machine company.
Three sewing machines walk into a bar
The first says to the second, “Are you a Singer?”
The second replies, “Why, Janome?”
The third remarks, “Oh, Brother!”
Why arent sewing classes called heminars?
I knew a tailor who was depressed before he went to sewing school
my friend writes tunes about sewing machines
she's a Singer songwriter
I thought about cracking a joke to my wife’s sewing club, but decided against it.
They were already in stitches.
My friend composes songs about sewing machines.
He's a Singer songwriter or sew it seams...
My sewing instructor just told me that I’m the worst student she has ever seen.
I write songs about sewing machines.
I need help with my sewing
I write songs about sewing machines.
Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.
