Sew-sew pun
πŸ‘︎ 44
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mkitch55
πŸ“…︎ May 12 2020
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This is sew well done
πŸ‘︎ 3k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/The_OG_Bigfoot
πŸ“…︎ Apr 27 2019
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Don’t talk to me while I’m trying to sew this small rip.

I needle little space.

πŸ‘︎ 32
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2020
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Guess that sews up the case!
πŸ‘︎ 64
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Stha118
πŸ“…︎ Jul 12 2019
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I sat down to sew and wouldntchayknow it, the machine is broken.

Guess that was my last stitch effort.

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2019
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That’s sew metal
πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/elko
πŸ“…︎ Oct 09 2019
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My sister was hired to sew 8 bridesmaid dresses by Saturday. . .

She seamstressed but she’ll get it done. However her skills are only sew sew.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/boogerknows
πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2019
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To the EM who told me not to sew up your child's leg: Suture Self
πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/xX_Xineohp69_Xx
πŸ“…︎ Mar 23 2019
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I saw a raccoon with a sewing machine, I asked my wife "Does that raccoon know how to sew?"

She said, "That's how it seams"

πŸ‘︎ 55
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheFifthStep
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2018
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What do you call a bird that sews?

A hemming-bird.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RealMeaning42
πŸ“…︎ May 07 2019
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Wife: "... that reminds me that I have to sew your pants when we get back"

Me: "Just let me know when you do so I can go ahead and reap them."

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/arktouros
πŸ“…︎ Jun 16 2014
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I have a friend who writes songs about sewing machines.

He's a Singer songwriter, or sew it seams.

πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BastetLXIX
πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2020
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A pediatric surgeon sewed his kids together as a new form of punishment.

If you can’t beat β€˜em, join β€˜em.

πŸ‘︎ 41
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jay-overthinks
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03
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My wife has begun writing songs about her sewing machine

She wants to be a Singer-songwriter, or sew it seams.

πŸ‘︎ 79
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hotcheetopuffs
πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2020
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My friend composes songs about sewing machines

He's a Singer songwriter or sew it seams.

πŸ‘︎ 60
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πŸ‘€︎ u/inLikeCyn
πŸ“…︎ Oct 10 2020
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Before my surgery today, the anesthesiologist asked if I'd like to be knocked out with gas or he could just hit me over the head with a canoe paddle. So I guess it was...

...an ether/oar situation...

πŸ‘︎ 10k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2020
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My mate composes songs about sewing machines.

He's a Singer songwriter, sew it seams.

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Brucemoose1
πŸ“…︎ Oct 04 2020
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This left me in stitches...
πŸ‘︎ 3k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/aimilah
πŸ“…︎ Dec 21 2020
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My sewing instructor thinks I’m the worst student she has ever seen.

Shit, wrong thread.

πŸ‘︎ 53
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jul 30 2020
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I write songs about sewing machines !

I'm a singer songwriter

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Aug 26 2020
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What did the nun say as she sat down at the sewing machine?

This could be habit forming.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ“…︎ Sep 01 2020
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I need help with my sewing

Oops, wrong thread.

πŸ‘︎ 6k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dandan_56
πŸ“…︎ Aug 23 2019
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Yesterday was national sewing day..

.. or so it seams

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/drk311
πŸ“…︎ Jun 04 2020
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it's pwoven
πŸ‘︎ 746
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Banoooooooo
πŸ“…︎ Sep 10 2020
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I write songs about sewing machines...

I’m a Singer songwriter.

πŸ‘︎ 42
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πŸ‘€︎ u/I_MADMAN
πŸ“…︎ Feb 16 2020
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I've got a date with a woman form the sewing machine factory.

She seams nice

πŸ‘︎ 44
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cotswoldboy
πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2019
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Why are pine trees bad at sewing?

They always drop their needles!!

πŸ‘︎ 101
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πŸ‘€︎ u/shooception
πŸ“…︎ Dec 27 2019
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Everyone in my sewing class thinks I’m the worst they have ever seen.

Oops, wrong thread!

πŸ‘︎ 161
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Sep 03 2019
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I tried to be a tailor...

but I just wasn't suited for it...mainly because it was a sew-sew job.

πŸ‘︎ 25
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jigsatics
πŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2020
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I thought my girlfriend looked like she wanted to get back into sewing clothes...

At least that's the way she seamed...

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Feb 27 2020
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My daughter was having a pretend dinner party with her teddy bear, when she asked, β€œDo you want anything to eat, Mr. Bear?” In my best bear voice, I replied...

β€œNo thanks, I’m stuffed!"

πŸ‘︎ 10k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Apr 20 2020
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I was using my sewing machine the other day and started making musical notes, then i realized....

I'm a Singer songwriter

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bullet_Catcher
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2019
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I shoplifted a sewing machine yesterday but I’m really regretting it.

It just doesn’t seam right.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Gear99
πŸ“…︎ Dec 04 2019
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How did the farmer find his wife?

He tractor down.

πŸ‘︎ 239
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Milspec1974
πŸ“…︎ Aug 10 2020
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Lawyer vs. Tailor

Tailor: you said the there was one hole the pocket only, there are definitely more! Lawyer: I lied, sew me!

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/spawnthink
πŸ“…︎ Sep 06 2020
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Some Christmas Dad Jokes

Why are Santas reindeer generally drenched with water?

Because they are rain-deer.

Why did Santa have to visit the psychologist?

He had low elf esteem.

source

Why are Christmas trees so uncoordinated when it comes to sewing?

They always drop their needles.

What do you get when you cross a snowman with a hungry mosquito?

Frostbite

​What did Adam say to Eve on the night before Christmas day?

It's Christmas Eve!

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bmantis311
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2020
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My mother is a gangster

She doesn't say "I'm going to mend your trousers", she says "britches get stitches".

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hero_of_Thyme81
πŸ“…︎ Oct 16 2020
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Why did the woman felt uncomfortable whilst sewing

Because she seamstressed

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/shinoobie96
πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2019
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I recently took a job writing jingles for a sewing machine company.

I’m a Singer songwriter.

πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Apr 28 2019
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Three sewing machines walk into a bar

The first says to the second, β€œAre you a Singer?”

The second replies, β€œWhy, Janome?”

The third remarks, β€œOh, Brother!”

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PKMKII
πŸ“…︎ Apr 25 2019
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Why arent sewing classes called heminars?
πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bowiesrevenge
πŸ“…︎ Aug 12 2018
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I knew a tailor who was depressed before he went to sewing school

He seams better now

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/EnochChell
πŸ“…︎ May 06 2018
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my friend writes tunes about sewing machines

she's a Singer songwriter

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Scruluce
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2019
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I thought about cracking a joke to my wife’s sewing club, but decided against it.

They were already in stitches.

πŸ‘︎ 30
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πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2018
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My friend composes songs about sewing machines.

He's a Singer songwriter or sew it seams...

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/chown-root
πŸ“…︎ Oct 06 2020
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My sewing instructor just told me that I’m the worst student she has ever seen.

Shit. Wrong thread.

πŸ‘︎ 14k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02 2020
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I write songs about sewing machines.

I'm a Singer songwriter.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MagicGuy66
πŸ“…︎ May 16 2020
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I need help with my sewing

oops, wrong thread...

πŸ‘︎ 46
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πŸ‘€︎ u/epicgamerjoshy67
πŸ“…︎ Aug 23 2019
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I write songs about sewing machines.

I'm a singer songwriter.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RayInRed
πŸ“…︎ Feb 20 2020
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