Did this painting for my friend (far right) who is a huge Pittsburgh steelers fan. His favorite player is Troy Polamalu... And he likes puns. That's me in the middle.l in my favorite jumper. Thoughts???
reddit.com/gallery/kkbp9y
I wrote a card for my friend who just graduated high school and wants to study geology and/or paleontology in college. She also likes puns :)
Why don't kleptomaniacs like puns?
Because they take everything literally.
She doesn't like puns or DBZ. Let her go.
Do you like puns about drowning?
I think they are breathtaking
I don’t even like puns...
How to propose an asian who likes puns.
This might be a little bit door-key, but I like puns
Mother Nature likes puns now.
Some people don't like puns...
and what I tell them is to turn that frown SUNNY SIDE UPside down.
What do you call a girl who likes puns?
RePUNzel
proceeds to slap knee
My brother told me he didn’t like puns.
Why don't kleptomaniacs like puns?
Because they are always taking things literally
Before my surgery today, the anesthesiologist asked if I'd like to be knocked out with gas or he could just hit me over the head with a canoe paddle. So I guess it was...
...an ether/oar situation...
No matter where I go, I like to bring my ukulele, then, whenever someone asks if I play an instrument, I say...
“I play a little guitar!"
Seems like a Bassless claim to me
What's made of leather and sounds like a sneeze?
There's a term for people like Trump
What did 2 say to 3 when they saw 6 acting like an idiot?
Don’t mind him. He is just a product of our times.
My wife asked me, “Why don’t you treat me like you did when we were first dating!?”
So I took her to dinner and a movie then dropped her off at her parents’ house...
Proud dad moment: My five year old and I were discussing Halloween candy. I told him I like Kit-Kats.
He picked out a Butterfinger from his bag, held it up, and said “Kit-Kats are good but these are butter.”
How do pirates like their women?
Looks like I have all my ducks in a row
I don't like people who take drugs...
For example, airport security.
Cake day original joke! Why don’t penguins like eating clown fish?
Because they taste funny!
I feel like this meme fits in here.
What kind of shoes do Transformers like to wear?
If pronouncing all my "V"s like "B"s, makes me sound Russian...
If someone does not like Elon Musk
...are they an Anti-Musker?
(Courtesy of my boyfriend, I'll show myself out)
A man went to the doctor’s and told him, “I feel like such a failure. All five of my boys want to be valets when they grow up.”
He said, “Wow, that’s the worst case of parking son’s disease I’ve ever seen.”
What does a person who fakes injuries like to drink?
My friend told me, “Your wife and daughter look like twins!”
I said, “Well, they were separated at birth.”
People act like the North and South poles are exactly the same
...but really, there’s a whole world of differences between them.
I dreamed I met a long snake-like fish who had been knighted by the queen.
I always wanted to keep my wisdom teeth but I just went to the dentist and it looks like they're gonna have to be removed
To be honest this is pretty demolarizing
My wife told me to stop acting like a flamingo.
So I had to put my foot down.
Like all of us have been.
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