Please puns r my life
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︎ Jan 07 2020
Oh no please
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︎ Dec 31 2020
Can one of the Mods please explain to me why my post was removed?
I'm really annoyed about this because now my fence has fallen over....
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︎ Oct 20 2020
Blood and Organ related puns please
So a colleague is leaving my work (transfusion medicine lab) to work as an information manager for the organ transplant service. I make cards and Iβm trying to think up something punny to write on/in his card and Iβll paint a picture on the front for context. I was thinking like βbloody good luckβ or βsorry youβre transplantingβ... but less shitty!
Thanks in advance :)
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︎ Jan 10 2021
My 4-year-old son has been learning Spanish all year and he still can't say the word, please.
which I think is poor for four.
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︎ Nov 28 2020
A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says, βA beer please, ..."
"... and one for the road."
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︎ Sep 15 2020
Please Help Me Out Here
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︎ Dec 31 2020
Called my wife and said, "I'm almost home, honey, could you please put the coffee maker on." After a twenty second pause, I asked, "You still there sweetheart?" She answered, "Yeah..."
"But I don't think the coffee maker wants to talk right now!"
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︎ Dec 31 2020
I made a meme on r/golf. It slow rolls a dadjoke. Please enjoy.
Link to post
Please know the scorecard isn't mine. I shamelessly stole that from google search.
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︎ Jan 07 2021
Dr please
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︎ Dec 11 2020
Grizzly bear walks into a bar. Says to the bartender "i'll have a whiskey..................on the rocks, please" bartender asks "whats with the big pause?"
Grizzly looks perplexed and replies "Ive had them all my life"
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︎ Dec 17 2020
Please just take my money you deserve it
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︎ Aug 05 2020
An ounce of quack please.
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︎ Nov 10 2020
I was left a package this morning. On the front in big red letters it said, "PLEASE DO NOT BEND"
I thought to myself, how the f**k am I supposed to pick it up?
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︎ Dec 14 2020
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︎ Dec 03 2020
One Shark bucks latte please
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︎ Dec 03 2020
Batman: βAlfred, please fill up the bathtubβ
Alfred: βSir? Whatβs a htub β
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︎ Oct 15 2020
Please destroy me for this monster ive created
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︎ Jul 28 2020
Hey, don't go spoil Cyberpunk 2077 please.
I haven't played 1-2076 yet.
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︎ Dec 13 2020
Watch your grammar please!
The double negative is a complete no no!
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︎ Dec 03 2020
A βdivineβ healer in his βmiracleβ ministry called, "Anyone with 'special needs' who wants to be prayed for, please come forward to the front."
With that, John got in line and when it was his turn the Pastor asked, " John, what do you want me to pray for you?"
John replied, "Pastor, I need you to pray for help with my hearing."
The Pastor put one finger of one hand on John's ear, placed his other hand on top of John's head, and then prayed and prayed and the whole congregation joined in with much enthusiasm. After a few minutes, the Pastor removed his hands, stood back and asked: "John, how is your hearing now?"
John answered, "I don't know. My hearing is actually next Thursday in the "Magistrate Court."
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︎ Dec 06 2020
If anyone is alone this Christmas and has nobody to spend it with, please let me know..
I really need to borrow some chairs.
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︎ Nov 15 2020
Please help
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︎ Oct 01 2020
I made this video in good humor only... please do not take it as offense in any way, shape, or form!
Life as a Stay at Home Dad (honest humor nothing against Stay at Home Dads)
As as an aspiring father figure, I have the greatest respect for dads of every kind. In fact, much of this stems from the fact Iβve grown up from the age of 6 without a father of my own. I made this video as a comical representation of what I hope to be one day: a guy full of dad jokes and such humor.
Thank you for reading and enjoy!
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︎ Oct 29 2020
whiskey please
do you want ice with that?
Yes but can I get fresh ice please none of that frozen rubbish!
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︎ Oct 15 2020
Peach please
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︎ Sep 15 2020
A moment like this just once please.
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︎ Sep 20 2020
Iβd first like to make sure this thing is working. If your name is Michael, please stand up.
That concludes the mike check
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︎ Nov 05 2020
5 y/o: βhey dad, make some more jokes please
dad: βwhy do i need to make more jokes? iβve already made you
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︎ Oct 09 2020
Please check if you flushed
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︎ Aug 04 2020
Introducing the new rhyme speaking Green Onion with the super tight back beat! Please welcome the one! The only---
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︎ Sep 26 2020
Rate my pun please (IG @the.punpage)
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︎ Jul 07 2020
Please bring my x back, don't ask y :(
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︎ Jun 21 2020
English is not my native language, please be merciful
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︎ Jul 30 2020
For a temp job I had to conduct surveys on the street and often times people would reluctantly comply disclaiming to "Keep it short please!"
So my question was: What do you know about dwarves?
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︎ Sep 27 2020
bet yβall laughed iβm so farknee haha (someone end me please)
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︎ Aug 13 2020
Can people please stop making jokes about covering their faces?
It's all I masking you to do.
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︎ Aug 13 2020
Please vote here: When a prince ties fabric around his neck, is it a scarf, cravat or an ascot?
Voting has ended. It's a tie.
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︎ Jul 16 2020
Please get this one
π︎ 3k
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︎ Oct 14 2019
Please, please, tell me.
π︎ 45
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︎ Jul 10 2020
Please, don't hate me.
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︎ Jun 08 2020
My family was doing the dinner dishes together and our mum was washing the dishes in the sink. She asked βcould you guys load the dishwasher please?β
So my dad brought her a glass of wine.
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︎ Sep 10 2020
With how crazy this month has been please
Just wake me up when September ends.
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︎ Sep 17 2020
A wife asks her husband, "Could you please go shopping for me and buy one carton of milk and if they have avocados, get 6.
A short time later the husband comes back with 6 cartons of milk.
The wife asks him, "Why did you buy 6 cartons of milk?"
He replied, "They had avocados."
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︎ Aug 02 2019
My four year old has been learning Spanish for a year, and he still canβt say βpleaseβ
I think thatβs poor for four
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︎ Dec 19 2020
My 4 year old son has been learning spanish all year and he still canβt say the word please.
Which i think is poor for four
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︎ Sep 15 2020
My Spanish friends little boy still can't say please....
And I think it's poor for four.
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︎ Nov 25 2020
My four year old has been learning Spanish and still canβt say the word please.
Which I think is poor for four.
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︎ Oct 23 2020
I was on the phone with my wife and said, "I'm almost home, honey, please put the coffee maker on." After a twenty second pause, I asked, "You still there sweetheart?"
"Yeahβ¦" she replied. "But I don't think the coffee maker wants to talk right nowβ¦"
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︎ Apr 16 2020
My 4 year old son has been learning Spanish all year and he still can't say the word please.
Which I think is poor for four.
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︎ Sep 21 2020
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