Please puns r my life
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Emotional_Plenty
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07 2020
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Oh no please
πŸ‘︎ 3k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Datpugluvr
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2020
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Can one of the Mods please explain to me why my post was removed?

I'm really annoyed about this because now my fence has fallen over....

πŸ‘︎ 21k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/varthalon
πŸ“…︎ Oct 20 2020
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Blood and Organ related puns please

So a colleague is leaving my work (transfusion medicine lab) to work as an information manager for the organ transplant service. I make cards and I’m trying to think up something punny to write on/in his card and I’ll paint a picture on the front for context. I was thinking like β€œbloody good luck” or β€œsorry you’re transplanting”... but less shitty!

Thanks in advance :)

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Massive-Lock-6048
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2021
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My 4-year-old son has been learning Spanish all year and he still can't say the word, please.

which I think is poor for four.

πŸ‘︎ 376
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kgangadhar
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2020
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A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says, β€œA beer please, ..."

"... and one for the road."

πŸ‘︎ 13k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/klwill1192
πŸ“…︎ Sep 15 2020
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Please Help Me Out Here

Knock Knock

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/WilliamIncubus
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2020
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Called my wife and said, "I'm almost home, honey, could you please put the coffee maker on." After a twenty second pause, I asked, "You still there sweetheart?" She answered, "Yeah..."

"But I don't think the coffee maker wants to talk right now!"

πŸ‘︎ 41
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πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2020
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I made a meme on r/golf. It slow rolls a dadjoke. Please enjoy.

Link to post

Please know the scorecard isn't mine. I shamelessly stole that from google search.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Purdueblue17
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07 2021
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Dr please
πŸ‘︎ 45
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πŸ‘€︎ u/curiouscat887
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2020
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Grizzly bear walks into a bar. Says to the bartender "i'll have a whiskey..................on the rocks, please" bartender asks "whats with the big pause?"

Grizzly looks perplexed and replies "Ive had them all my life"

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Carr3iroh
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2020
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Please just take my money you deserve it
πŸ‘︎ 5k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jackson24me
πŸ“…︎ Aug 05 2020
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An ounce of quack please.
πŸ‘︎ 76
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πŸ‘€︎ u/D0NW0N
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2020
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I was left a package this morning. On the front in big red letters it said, "PLEASE DO NOT BEND"

I thought to myself, how the f**k am I supposed to pick it up?

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2020
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Please support my onlyfrans! only-frans.com/irishguy
πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dealonmusk
πŸ“…︎ Dec 03 2020
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One Shark bucks latte please
πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dogzsquadarts
πŸ“…︎ Dec 03 2020
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Batman: β€œAlfred, please fill up the bathtub”

Alfred: β€œSir? What’s a htub ”

πŸ‘︎ 54
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MasterPrize
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2020
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Please destroy me for this monster ive created
πŸ‘︎ 740
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πŸ‘€︎ u/darkdragon8169
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28 2020
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Hey, don't go spoil Cyberpunk 2077 please.

I haven't played 1-2076 yet.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BbBTripl3
πŸ“…︎ Dec 13 2020
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Watch your grammar please!

The double negative is a complete no no!

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BrainSpy
πŸ“…︎ Dec 03 2020
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A β€˜divine’ healer in his β€˜miracle’ ministry called, "Anyone with 'special needs' who wants to be prayed for, please come forward to the front."

With that, John got in line and when it was his turn the Pastor asked, " John, what do you want me to pray for you?"

John replied, "Pastor, I need you to pray for help with my hearing."

The Pastor put one finger of one hand on John's ear, placed his other hand on top of John's head, and then prayed and prayed and the whole congregation joined in with much enthusiasm. After a few minutes, the Pastor removed his hands, stood back and asked: "John, how is your hearing now?"

John answered, "I don't know. My hearing is actually next Thursday in the "Magistrate Court."

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ball5deeper
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2020
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If anyone is alone this Christmas and has nobody to spend it with, please let me know..

I really need to borrow some chairs.

πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/the_houser
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2020
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Please help
πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Xcognito
πŸ“…︎ Oct 01 2020
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I made this video in good humor only... please do not take it as offense in any way, shape, or form!

Life as a Stay at Home Dad (honest humor nothing against Stay at Home Dads)

As as an aspiring father figure, I have the greatest respect for dads of every kind. In fact, much of this stems from the fact I’ve grown up from the age of 6 without a father of my own. I made this video as a comical representation of what I hope to be one day: a guy full of dad jokes and such humor.

Thank you for reading and enjoy!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mosswyatt
πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2020
🚨︎ report
whiskey please

do you want ice with that?

Yes but can I get fresh ice please none of that frozen rubbish!

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Goldygold2
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2020
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Peach please
πŸ‘︎ 43
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JoniKesh
πŸ“…︎ Sep 15 2020
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A moment like this just once please.
πŸ‘︎ 29
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πŸ‘€︎ u/WorldWhunder
πŸ“…︎ Sep 20 2020
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I’d first like to make sure this thing is working. If your name is Michael, please stand up.

That concludes the mike check

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SZT2
πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2020
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5 y/o: β€œhey dad, make some more jokes please

dad: β€œwhy do i need to make more jokes? i’ve already made you

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Johnny-why
πŸ“…︎ Oct 09 2020
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Please check if you flushed
πŸ‘︎ 63
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πŸ‘€︎ u/nicknack605
πŸ“…︎ Aug 04 2020
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Introducing the new rhyme speaking Green Onion with the super tight back beat! Please welcome the one! The only---

Rapscallion!

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/slowshot
πŸ“…︎ Sep 26 2020
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Rate my pun please (IG @the.punpage)
πŸ‘︎ 81
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kyledreeling10
πŸ“…︎ Jul 07 2020
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Please bring my x back, don't ask y :(
πŸ‘︎ 44
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Goatcheese1230
πŸ“…︎ Jun 21 2020
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English is not my native language, please be merciful
πŸ‘︎ 43
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jaekys
πŸ“…︎ Jul 30 2020
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For a temp job I had to conduct surveys on the street and often times people would reluctantly comply disclaiming to "Keep it short please!"

So my question was: What do you know about dwarves?

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Str41nGR
πŸ“…︎ Sep 27 2020
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bet y’all laughed i’m so farknee haha (someone end me please)
πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ytdistinct_
πŸ“…︎ Aug 13 2020
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Can people please stop making jokes about covering their faces?

It's all I masking you to do.

πŸ‘︎ 40
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bazzer239
πŸ“…︎ Aug 13 2020
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Please vote here: When a prince ties fabric around his neck, is it a scarf, cravat or an ascot?

Voting has ended. It's a tie.

πŸ‘︎ 68
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πŸ‘€︎ u/OK_Compooper
πŸ“…︎ Jul 16 2020
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Please get this one
πŸ‘︎ 3k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/aayudhghosh
πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2019
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Please, please, tell me.
πŸ‘︎ 45
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πŸ“…︎ Jul 10 2020
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Please, don't hate me.
πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/orlanthi
πŸ“…︎ Jun 08 2020
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My family was doing the dinner dishes together and our mum was washing the dishes in the sink. She asked β€œcould you guys load the dishwasher please?”

So my dad brought her a glass of wine.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mossata
πŸ“…︎ Sep 10 2020
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With how crazy this month has been please

Just wake me up when September ends.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheBlazerBeam
πŸ“…︎ Sep 17 2020
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A wife asks her husband, "Could you please go shopping for me and buy one carton of milk and if they have avocados, get 6.

A short time later the husband comes back with 6 cartons of milk.

The wife asks him, "Why did you buy 6 cartons of milk?"

He replied, "They had avocados."

πŸ‘︎ 12k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Anthonybrose
πŸ“…︎ Aug 02 2019
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My four year old has been learning Spanish for a year, and he still can’t say β€˜please’

I think that’s poor for four

πŸ‘︎ 180
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Oobedoo321
πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2020
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My 4 year old son has been learning spanish all year and he still can’t say the word please.

Which i think is poor for four

πŸ‘︎ 552
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mattty_21
πŸ“…︎ Sep 15 2020
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My Spanish friends little boy still can't say please....

And I think it's poor for four.

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2020
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My four year old has been learning Spanish and still can’t say the word please.

Which I think is poor for four.

πŸ‘︎ 30
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πŸ‘€︎ u/justbeatitTTD
πŸ“…︎ Oct 23 2020
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I was on the phone with my wife and said, "I'm almost home, honey, please put the coffee maker on." After a twenty second pause, I asked, "You still there sweetheart?"

"Yeah…" she replied. "But I don't think the coffee maker wants to talk right now…"

πŸ‘︎ 8k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Apr 16 2020
🚨︎ report
My 4 year old son has been learning Spanish all year and he still can't say the word please.

Which I think is poor for four.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/uhavethebiggay
πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2020
🚨︎ report

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