Wish Puns

Because what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas.

Now I live in a cottage with 6 other dwarfs and I work in a mine.

Rich exclaimed, "I want lots of money!"

Being single my whole life is exhausting

...because then I could avada keDABra!!"

(งᵒ̌皿ᵒ̌)ง⁼³₌₃

But my arms aren’t strong enough

I’ll ‘Grant’ it

Solve its own problems like everyone else.

Does that make a fart a nightmare of the stomach?

It sucks

Me: “I don’t know, I wasn’t listening”

but I’m knot

It's just water under the fridge.

Taken from fb

A genie-ologist.

...but then my life would be meetingless.

It was a real groundbreaking invention

Hindsight is 2020

Genue: weurd but alrught.

That’s a lot of pressure.

I would be a malty millionaire by now.

It was a gloomy day for a funeral. The widow weeped quietly in the front row. A distinguished gentleman approached her and said "Ma'am, I'm so sorry for your loss. Would you mind if I said a word?" "Please do", she replied. He stands, straightens his tie, and says "Plethora." Then he sits down. "Thank you," she said.

"That means a lot."

So we could call them Breakfast Epiphanies

The ones I know are too crappie.

So I could have twice as many dad jokes.

Then he could be named Broda.

but it's growing on me.

He wishes he was a millionaire, too.

Rather worried, Noah said “But my Lord, have the people not been good this time? Must there be another flood?”

“No, there will not be a flood, the people have been good.” Said the Lord.

“Then why another ark?” Asked Noah.

“I wish for this ark to only house fish.” The Lord replied.

A slightly confused Noah responded “Okay... I shall do as you wish my Lord.”

“But not just any fish; only carp.” The Lord said unto him.

Noah, now more bemused, replied “Uh- okay my Lord.”

“One more thing.” The Lord said unto him “it needs to have multiple levels.”

“Are you sure my Lord? What is the purpose of this? What on earth is it all for?” Noah pressed.

And God said: “I want you to build a multi-story carp-ark.”

Passed from my father unto me, to pass onto my son when he becomes a father.

The mailman responded with, "And a good afternoon to you, Femalewoman!"

...that would be Nice.

.. Somebody, somewhere, is rubbing their hands together.

‘cause being it everyday is just really sad.

It was either to have an enormous penis or a fantastic memory, if only I could recall my response

Steve: "I wish I was rich."

Genie: "What’s your second wish, Rich?"

It sucks

That’s a lot of pressure.

That’s a lot of pressure.

Rich exclaimed, "I want lots of money!"

“I want to be rich!” Replied the man

“Ok Rich, what’s your next wish?”