Why do girls with daddy issues like guys with dad bods?

They’re just looking for a father figure

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sillygurf2
πŸ“…︎ Mar 24 2021
🚨︎ report
I told my boss, β€œSorry I’m late. I was having computer issues.”

Boss: Hard drive?

Me: No, the commute was fine. It’s my laptop.

πŸ‘︎ 11k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2020
🚨︎ report
How did a car crash victim get rid of his anger issues?

He was temper errorly disabled

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mark5301
πŸ“…︎ Apr 29 2021
🚨︎ report
Who do the Spice Girls speak to when they have an issue with one another?

Cumin Resources

πŸ‘︎ 37
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πŸ‘€︎ u/T33NW01F
πŸ“…︎ Mar 14 2021
🚨︎ report
Social media issues

The other day I Stumbledupon my Instagram and lost Pinterest

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Chuck1705
πŸ“…︎ Apr 14 2021
🚨︎ report
Which animal has mental health issues?

A Bi-Polar Bear

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/c088l3rs
πŸ“…︎ Mar 06 2021
🚨︎ report
My wife says I have commitment issues...

My girlfriend disagrees.

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Mar 14 2021
🚨︎ report
I used to have issues.

But I canceled my subscription.

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Navitach
πŸ“…︎ Mar 24 2021
🚨︎ report
I have been having prostate issues recently

It’s a pain in the ass

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/obiterdictum94
πŸ“…︎ Feb 27 2021
🚨︎ report
My ex had gambling and anger issues...

When I broke up with her things got a little dicey.

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AbeMax7823
πŸ“…︎ Feb 25 2021
🚨︎ report
My girlfriend and I have been really stressed and having some issues so we decided to take a mini vacation, a weekend trip to a ski resort.

Everything started off well, but things went downhill really fast.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ima420r
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25 2021
🚨︎ report
I asked an electrician to fix an electrical issue at my house

He refused

πŸ‘︎ 55
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Sep 18 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a chicken with daddy issues?

Kentucky Freud Chicken

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Superabuser
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2020
🚨︎ report
I've started writing songs about my attachment issues.

I'm calling it Cling Rap.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FBI_Official_Acct
πŸ“…︎ Dec 08 2020
🚨︎ report
We had a critical issue at work today, the icons on the monitor screen were small

It took us a while to work out a proper resolution

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/faisalz8
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2020
🚨︎ report
I had an issue with my prostate exam...

But now the proctologist told me everything's been rectified.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/wackyzebra43
πŸ“…︎ Sep 09 2020
🚨︎ report
the other night, my dad taught me his famous stew recipe. it went great, the only issue we had was with the herbs i wanted to use. he told me β€œyou’re wrong about the parsley...

but that’s okay because you’re right on thyme”

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ChrisLeePortland
πŸ“…︎ Sep 27 2020
🚨︎ report
You'd think politicians have bigger issues to tackle than housework and cleanliness.

Yet they often call for sweeping reforms.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sordidnoose
πŸ“…︎ Sep 24 2020
🚨︎ report
I was having some back issues, so I went to my Egyptian friend

He's a cairopractor

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PopeShashcan49
πŸ“…︎ May 26 2020
🚨︎ report
If anybody wants a copy of Osteopath Weekly I have back issues.
πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Naptownfellow
πŸ“…︎ Jun 08 2020
🚨︎ report
Where do clothes go to settle their legal issues?

The shorts house

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Foamy07
πŸ“…︎ Sep 10 2020
🚨︎ report
Had a bargain on eBay today, brought a 65inch HD TV for Β£5, the only issue is the volume button doesnt work.

I thought, I cant turn that down.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MrWulf360
πŸ“…︎ Jul 31 2020
🚨︎ report
Real Issue
πŸ‘︎ 46
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πŸ“…︎ Apr 10 2020
🚨︎ report
Contrary to common belief, racism is not a black and white issue
πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/97AByss
πŸ“…︎ Jun 05 2020
🚨︎ report
Why is the Norwegian flag having trust issues?

It’s been double crossed so many times.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CheesecakeMMXX
πŸ“…︎ Jul 29 2020
🚨︎ report
I'm heartbroken. The Wife broke up with me because of my chronic gambling issues.

.. Desperate to win her back.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HugoZHackenbush2
πŸ“…︎ Feb 25 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the classical musician that had money issues?

I heard he went Baroque

πŸ‘︎ 31
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πŸ‘€︎ u/almondjoyeee
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2019
🚨︎ report
[At the therapist] Hulk Hogan: I struggled through a lot of mental issues during my career.

Therapist: So you could say.. you had to wrestle mania?

πŸ‘︎ 38
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Apr 05 2020
🚨︎ report
I keep having internet issues!

I should think twice before allowing my daughter to subscribe to all these teen fashion e-zines...

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jun 25 2020
🚨︎ report
Frequent diarrhea can actually be a hereditary issue

It runs in your jeans.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tb0neguy
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26 2020
🚨︎ report
Apparently I have an issue with finishing of my sentences

You can't say much when you've been to prison twice.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/iseethrough1
πŸ“…︎ Apr 28 2020
🚨︎ report
How do monkeys solve employee focus decline issues?

Transfer them to a different branch

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bearnakedgamer
πŸ“…︎ May 01 2020
🚨︎ report
I was testing a lock which opens with a fingerprint, and trying to see how many fingerprints I could store. I've been able to store 10 fingerprints without issue

Because that's all I had on hand.

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SyStRm
πŸ“…︎ Feb 28 2020
🚨︎ report
My issue with whistles!
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πŸ‘€︎ u/wildwindsurfer
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2019
🚨︎ report
Someone asked about where to get therapy for issues with procrastination

I'll tell him later.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cman_yall
πŸ“…︎ Mar 02 2020
🚨︎ report
I'm gonna start a dating site for people with serious mommy and daddy issues.

I'll call it Oedipal Arrangements.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ianmann290
πŸ“…︎ Dec 08 2019
🚨︎ report
What is the most common medical issue for swimmers?

Strokes

πŸ‘︎ 50
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πŸ“…︎ Nov 08 2019
🚨︎ report
We’ve got a lot of issues to deal with
πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jnr_jinx
πŸ“…︎ Aug 03 2019
🚨︎ report
My wife broke it off with me because of communication issues.

Does anyone want to talk to her about it?

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2019
🚨︎ report
If I ran a large department store, I would publish a huge catalogue of Christmas products and call it the "All I want for Christmas" issue.

And put Mariah Carey on the cover

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Iplaymeinreallife
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2019
🚨︎ report
I was trying to get help for my mental health issues, but the guy helping me turned out to be completely crazy

He was a psycho therapist

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DutchBlob
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2019
🚨︎ report
I've discovered the exact process by which a woman becomes a thot, but I'm having issues explaining it.

No one can follow my thot process.

πŸ‘︎ 24
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MightyOtaku
πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2018
🚨︎ report
Wooden plumbing issues

I should have known better than to flush my wooden shoes down the toilet.

Now it's clogged. :D

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/capngloval
πŸ“…︎ Jul 03 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call it when a tortoise has balance issues?

Tortellini

πŸ‘︎ 36
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πŸ‘€︎ u/niggety
πŸ“…︎ Jul 29 2019
🚨︎ report
Dealing with son's sexuality issues..

Son: Okay, so I would identify as bisexual.

Me: And that means you would have a male partner.

Son. Yep.

Me: Or a female partner.

Son: Yep.

Me: And that means you're bi.

Son: Yep.

Me: So that means if you don't find a partner you're on standbi?

Son: ..

Son: ...

Son: ..

Son: Did you just..

πŸ‘︎ 557
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ralphfaith
πŸ“…︎ Aug 11 2017
🚨︎ report
Why is gay marriage an issue?

Some people are fucking assholes!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Shawnnerz
πŸ“…︎ Feb 21 2018
🚨︎ report
This issue of Time has four adverts form pharma companies.

That's four too many.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hpar1
πŸ“…︎ May 27 2019
🚨︎ report
Tissues have issues and they are tearable
πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RajdorUzu
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2019
🚨︎ report
I normally trust Benjamin Franklin’s judgement on most issues.

He’s usually on the money.

πŸ‘︎ 45
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jun 05 2019
🚨︎ report
I asked an electrician to fix an electrical issue at my house.

He Refused

πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dtactic
πŸ“…︎ Sep 01 2020
🚨︎ report

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