"Crash Course."
πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/whyyoutookmyname
πŸ“…︎ Oct 23 2020
🚨︎ report
25 emails between me (film producer) and Jason (my props master) over the course of making my film RUN (on Hulu now!)
πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sevohanian
πŸ“…︎ Dec 09 2020
🚨︎ report
After copying the Greeks and Etruscans of course
πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MetropolisCourier
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2020
🚨︎ report
Istanbul kept changing its name over the course of history

We could say it wasn't Constantly Nople.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RGCarter
πŸ“…︎ Dec 09 2020
🚨︎ report
I hate my math class probability course

What are the odds?

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AceBalistic
πŸ“…︎ Dec 09 2020
🚨︎ report
Who is the best person at the golf course to get to make coffee?

The groundskeeper!

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ravendemyseri
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2020
🚨︎ report
A dad and son drove by a golf course next to a few houses the son asked β€œwhat happens if the ball lands in the house”

The dad said β€œit’s a home-in-one”

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/isaiah2rod
πŸ“…︎ Nov 14 2020
🚨︎ report
Scientifically speaking, of course.
πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheMcPenguin
πŸ“…︎ Sep 19 2020
🚨︎ report
Yoda and Luke are walking through the swamp. Part of their usual training course involves shimmying along a cliff ledge, but today, there’s a long break in the ledge they can’t cross. β€œSomething for this I have.” Yoda says.

He reaches into his bag and takes out a bunch of regular dinner table forks and a roll of duct tape.

He tapes several forks together to make a bridge and lays it down, allowing the two of them to get across.

When they get back to Yoda’s hovel, they find that some creature has chewed a hole in the fence around Yoda’s garden.

β€œSomething I have for this.” Yoda says again. Once again, he takes a bunch of forks out of his bag and, using duct tape, tapes them in to patch the hole.

Yoda and Luke return to Yoda’s home, where Yoda looks through his bag. He’s used all his forks but one, he discovers.

β€œThat’s ok Master." Luke says, wanting to be helpful. β€œI’ll write us a note reminding us to buy more.”

So he writes the note and uses the very last fork to pin it to the bulletin board.

He looks down at Yoda expecting pride, but instead finds a look of horror.

β€œMaster Yoda!” he asks. β€œWhat did I do wrong?”

Yoda replies sagely, β€œA Jedi uses the forks for no ledge and the fence. Never for a tack!”

πŸ‘︎ 10k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ May 04 2020
🚨︎ report
Of β€œCourse” he did
πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Musical-Comic-69
πŸ“…︎ Oct 08 2020
🚨︎ report
Of course, french fries are far too posh for us, we only do chips!
πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/orlanthi
πŸ“…︎ Sep 28 2020
🚨︎ report
I told my bowmen that I would pay anytime they need to get some practice in at the course.

They’re free range archers now.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/blg111222
πŸ“…︎ Oct 11 2020
🚨︎ report
I didn't want to believe my husband was robbing golf courses

But I couldn't ignore the red flags any longer.

πŸ‘︎ 31
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πŸ‘€︎ u/katskratched
πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2020
🚨︎ report
Breaking news: a man has just been arrested for completing an origami course backwards..

We will update you as the situation unfolds.

πŸ‘︎ 190
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Micktheprivz
πŸ“…︎ Aug 05 2020
🚨︎ report
There’s a new drug going around that is nicknamed β€œangle”. My friends want to try it with me, but I took a D.A.R.E. course and don’t want to do drugs, so my friends make fun of me.

I guess I’m just too square to try angle.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PopTarnekPop
πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2020
🚨︎ report
Mario failed his online course

Because of his Internet Bowser

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Slymood
πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2020
🚨︎ report
Need some good puns when I whip this bad boy out on the course today. Help me out you geniuses!
πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mac-n-treez
πŸ“…︎ Aug 03 2020
🚨︎ report
I haven't seen many Thanksgiving puns yet

But I'm sure more may flower in time.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/E420CDI
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2020
🚨︎ report
I quit my job as the Pro at the local Miniature Golf course...

... I found the work oft-putting.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/youtellmebob
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22 2020
🚨︎ report
In my graphic design course, we all had to make typefaces inspired by our favorite US cities, and present them in class.

We all knew that at some point, we’d have to discuss the LA font in the room.

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HuecoTanks
πŸ“…︎ Aug 14 2020
🚨︎ report
Names redacted for anonymity, of course.
πŸ‘︎ 245
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LordOysteryn
πŸ“…︎ Mar 12 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the raindrop say to the cloud that went off course?

β€œWater you doing?”

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/3eemo
πŸ“…︎ Aug 18 2020
🚨︎ report
Oman! You’re about to read some terrible stuff.

β€œI live in Spain without the β€˜s’”.

This inspired me to come up with some truly terrible country-related jokes.

It’s about to Bahrain jokes without the β€œBah”.

  1. I have a double China without the β€œa”.

  2. Some people have told me that I look a lot like a German without the β€œan”.

  3. Oman, I think that one conspiracy about Israel Israel.

  4. You all probably want to hit me with Japan without the β€œJ”.

  5. You probably can’t Kuwait to stop reading these without the β€œKu”.

  6. Nowadays, car companies are focusing on making electric cars, but I Madagascar.

  7. As you’ve probably guessed, I don’t even have one Nepal without the β€œNe”.

All of these bad jokes made me Hungary so Iran to the nearest shop to get some food. Why am I always India-r need of food?

I sincerely apologise, fellow people. These jokes probably left a painful Denmark on your souls without the β€œDen”, of course.

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/anipanreads
πŸ“…︎ Dec 09 2020
🚨︎ report
of course not
πŸ‘︎ 112
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dumboooo_
πŸ“…︎ May 05 2020
🚨︎ report
am I right ? of course Im on the left wing :D
πŸ‘︎ 27
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cihan_emre
πŸ“…︎ May 29 2020
🚨︎ report
Of course, you can't visit it just now.
πŸ‘︎ 132
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πŸ‘€︎ u/orlanthi
πŸ“…︎ Apr 11 2020
🚨︎ report
I can't believe I failed my HVAC course...

I studied asbestos I could...

Probably should have insulated my grade a little better...

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ItsaSnap
πŸ“…︎ Jul 05 2020
🚨︎ report
I was at a Star Wars themed restaurant.....

I had Sky Walker soup. Wookie steak and Death Star ice cream.

The starter and the dessert were lovely, but the main course was a bit chewy.

πŸ‘︎ 47
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2020
🚨︎ report
The hurdler was having a hard time with the course.

His coach told him to just get over it.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sir_Pluses
πŸ“…︎ May 05 2020
🚨︎ report
What is Geometry?

It’s what a tree says when it looks in the mirror.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ReelBigKeith
πŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2020
🚨︎ report
Of course He is risen

Helium ~is~ lighter than air

πŸ‘︎ 46
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Apr 13 2020
🚨︎ report
On the golf course I'm known as Frito Lay...

Because my chips are so good.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/shercroft
πŸ“…︎ Jun 14 2020
🚨︎ report
I took Binary 101 last semester, but failed it miserably.

Turns out it was a level 5 course.

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2020
🚨︎ report
We will never run out of puns now!

A giant list of puns

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn’t have the balls to do it.

I used to be afraid of hu

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/communist_scumbag
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
🚨︎ report
Of course he wood
πŸ‘︎ 25
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/themdonuts
πŸ“…︎ Mar 24 2020
🚨︎ report
I just failed a fire safety course when they asked what steps I would take in case of an explosion...

Apparently, "extremely large ones" wasn’t an acceptable answer...

πŸ‘︎ 21
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ May 19 2020
🚨︎ report
Of course I'm not. I'm going to stay at home. That has nothing to do with the lockdown though!
πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/orlanthi
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03 2020
🚨︎ report
I enrolled in a course entitled β€œBasic Origami for halfwits”.

You’re probably thinking β€œWhy?”

Well, the answer is twofold.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ May 28 2020
🚨︎ report
of course no-one appreciated this on twitter
πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ICTman1076
πŸ“…︎ Mar 21 2020
🚨︎ report
Do trees poop?

Of course they do. That's how we get number 2 pencils.

-Edit- Thanks for the awards guys! 😊

πŸ‘︎ 54
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Mama_Bear15
πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2020
🚨︎ report
The teacher asked the student about the progress on the Microsoft Office course.

The student responded: 'thank you for asking, i'm doing excellent.'

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/burt_tts
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27 2020
🚨︎ report
Captain! Are we going off course!?

Captain: Of course!

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Mister_Normal777
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26 2020
🚨︎ report
I took a lobster out for dinner

When he saw the main course, he sure looked steamed!

πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Luxara-VI
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2020
🚨︎ report
I asked "should I go to college?"

They replied "of course you should"

I said "I degree"

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Dec 09 2020
🚨︎ report
Oman! You’re about to read some terrible stuff.

β€œI live in Spain without the β€˜s’”.

This inspired me to come up with some truly terrible country-related jokes.

It’s about to Bahrain jokes without the β€œBah”.

  1. I have a double China without the β€œa”.

  2. Some people have told me that I look a lot like a German without the β€œan”.

  3. Oman, I think that one conspiracy about Israel Israel.

  4. You all probably want to hit me with Japan without the β€œJ”.

  5. You probably can’t Kuwait to stop reading these without the β€œKu”.

  6. Nowadays, car companies are focusing on making electric cars, but I Madagascar.

  7. As you’ve probably guessed, I don’t even have one Nepal without the β€œNe”.

All of these bad jokes made me Hungary so Iran to the nearest shop to get some food. Why am I always India-r need of food?

I sincerely apologise, fellow people. These jokes probably left a painful Denmark on your souls without the β€œDen”, of course.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/anipanreads
πŸ“…︎ Dec 09 2020
🚨︎ report
A giant list of puns from r/copypasta

A giant list of puns

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn’t have the balls to do it.

I used to be afraid of hu

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
🚨︎ report

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