The man stands up and speaks "Plethora." and steps back down.
"Thank you..." says the Widow, "that really means a lot."
EDIT The responses here are incredible! 👌
Sometimes I need expert advice.
It’s very souperficial.
The golfers didn't want to bear with him about the whereabouts of Tiger Woods and ran towards another bearing.
I can't believe he tried to pull this shit!
Every week, I had an appointment with a doctor where they would ask me about my health. They would ask me the same usual questions. This is how it would go:
Dr: Do you get a dry mouth?
Me: Yes but I drink water to compensate.
Dr: Any issues with hearing?
Me: Sorry?
Dr (louder): any issues with hearing?
Me: Beg your pardon?
Dr starts laughing
...the deep ones are also called the many-anglered ones, after all ;)
He reaches into his bag and takes out a bunch of regular dinner table forks and a roll of duct tape.
He tapes several forks together to make a bridge and lays it down, allowing the two of them to get across.
When they get back to Yoda’s hovel, they find that some creature has chewed a hole in the fence around Yoda’s garden.
“Something I have for this.” Yoda says again. Once again, he takes a bunch of forks out of his bag and, using duct tape, tapes them in to patch the hole.
Yoda and Luke return to Yoda’s home, where Yoda looks through his bag. He’s used all his forks but one, he discovers.
“That’s ok Master." Luke says, wanting to be helpful. “I’ll write us a note reminding us to buy more.”
So he writes the note and uses the very last fork to pin it to the bulletin board.
He looks down at Yoda expecting pride, but instead finds a look of horror.
“Master Yoda!” he asks. “What did I do wrong?”
Yoda replies sagely, “A Jedi uses the forks for no ledge and the fence. Never for a tack!”
This is a Re-Post Malone joke.
Which is why I mixed my drink with a spoon instead.
I guess I’m just too square to try angle.
Helium ~is~ lighter than air
Apparently, "extremely large ones" wasn’t an acceptable answer...
Dad: William.
I was a Chemistry major.
According to him, it’s in case he gets a hole in one.
I tried it out, but it wasn't very good.
It was sub-par.
The guests seemed to like my carbon dates.
And the rope replies, “I’m a frayed knot.”
It’s like a trip down mammary lane
April fools
So I took her to the airport.
I’m wearing sleeves, aren’t I?
Daughter was born at 8:08am yesterday. 7lbs, 1oz, 20" long. Dad, Mom and baby are doing great! Image
Edit - link formatting
Edit - My wife thinks the pic makes it look like she gave birth to Mother Teresa
He had a lot of hang-ups.
Sometimes I need expert advice
‘Large ones’ was apparently the wrong answer.
