My dad, who's in his 50's, bought a new Tesla Model S and was out for a nice evening drive. The top was down, the breeze was blowing through what was left of his hair, and he decided to let her rip!
As the needle jumped up to 90 mph, he suddenly saw flashing red & blue lights behind him. "There's no freakin' way they can catch a Tesla," he thought to himself. So he let her rip further. The needle hit 100, 120… then the reality of the situation hit him.
"What the hell am I doing?" he thought and pulled over. The cop came up to him, took his license without a word, examined it, then said:
"It's been a long day, this is the end of my shift. I don't feel like more paperwork, so if you can give me an excuse for your driving that I haven't heard before, you can go."
My dad thinks for a second then says, "Last week my wife ran off with a cop. I was afraid you were trying to give her back."
"Have a nice weekend," said the officer
You're under a vest
He high tailed it out of there!
"Oh yes," I said. "I saw them. But unfortunately I can't read sign language."
Guy: "hello"
It was a Vic Tim less crime.
The man replies "Officer, your eyes are looking a little glazed. Have you been eating donuts?"
Cops booked ‘em on a domestic violins charge.
A puh-LEEZ car.
I replied "is it because you want to see how tall I am?"
He said "step out of the car sir"
See, I knew it.......
But they couldn’t find any AA batteries
An undercover cop!
When he was finally told he passed, he got so excited he went into cardiac arrest.
None, they just shoot the room for being black
littering is a crime.
Because of a mooooooving violation.
Doyouthinkhesaurus
Edit: I definitely forgot this came from Jurassic Park. So credit goes to that. But it’s still funny.
He let him off the hook
Because they are always behind a few bars and can't find the key.
They booked me for resisting a rest
The cop said, “Sir, that’s not how you play the race card.”
mine
Because there were weird noises coming from his trunk.
A crooked cop
Because none of them could pass the bar
So anyway that should explain the crutches and my black eye.
No shit Sherlock
An under-cover cop
Freeze!
In the end, he got away with IT.
The pig squealed
I went inside to complain but they charged me with a felony (fell-on-knee)
A retired traffic cop walks into a bar and orders a beer. "What have you been up to since you retired?" the bartender asks. "Actually, I've just designed a new line of decorative sleeves that go over women's handbags," the retired officer says. "I call them Hot Purse Suits."
The cop searches the trunk and says, "Do you know there's a dead cat in here?"
Schrodinger says, "Well I do now!"
You’re under a vest.
The cop said, “That’s not how you play the race card.”
