What do you call an Arby's cook who leaves to work for McDonald's?

An Arbitrator.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 18
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Kielbasa_Crotch_Kid
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 07 2020
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Just found out lesbians actually cook.

I thought they just ate out..

πŸ‘οΈŽ 44
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/FlintTheDad
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 04 2020
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How do you cook a dramatic steak?

Well done done done.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/JonnySwo
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 12 2020
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What does Pac-Man like to cook with?

A wok a wok a wok a wok.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/bob9109
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 02 2020
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How long does it take to cook naan bread?

Unleven minutes

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/JuanSancock
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 26 2020
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How do you cook a bear?

With bearnaise sauce.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/lfantine
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 31 2020
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What do you cook fries with?

Lots of de-grease.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/The_Antihuman
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 25 2020
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An hour before 5 in the morning is the best time to cook a sweet potato.

Because it's For a Yam!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 11
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/GoodChadAndUgly
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 10 2020
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Why Did The Cook Want to Become a Writer?

Because he wanted to flip the script!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 14
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/dezorg
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 06 2020
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Why don't cannibals cook their food?

They prefer raw men.

(ramen).

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/jfshay
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 05 2020
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How did they know that Blackbeard's cook was Italian?

Because his only spice was AAARRgano.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/SkidWilly86
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 13 2020
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One of my friends asked "what's the best way to cook an alligator?"

I said, "in a croc pot".

πŸ‘οΈŽ 149
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/uhavethebiggay
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 20 2020
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My wife's an abysmal cook. She tried combining corned beef, onions and potatoes...

She made a right hash of it.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 17
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 07 2020
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How does Fozzy the Bear cook his food?

In a Wok-a Wok-a Wok-a

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/ravendemyseri
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 16 2020
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I cook my food by myself, wash my dishes by myself, and tidy my house myself.

One can say that I am 'self-maid'

πŸ‘οΈŽ 10
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Zilver-alpha
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 08 2020
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All my crabs were pissed at me after I told them I must cook and eat them...

They were steamed!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 8
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 29 2020
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Whenever I cook, I'm always left with excess herbs.

Guess I just have great Thyme management.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/yourpaljenkins
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 11 2020
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What did the lactose intolerant queen say when the cook served her mac n cheese?

How dairy!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Snugl-v203
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 17 2020
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Why do I always cook my deer meat at medium rare instead of medium?

There is so much more flavor that way, It’s really a game changer.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/DarnOldTramp
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 16 2020
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What do you get when a russian black-magician tries to cook canadian food?

You get a ras***poutine***

πŸ‘οΈŽ 8
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/i_roh
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 28 2020
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My wife asked me if she could have some peace and quiet while she tried to cook dinner

So I took the batteries out of the smoke alarm

πŸ‘οΈŽ 60
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/farrukhsshah
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 24 2020
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What did the cook say after making stir fry at a playground?

"It was a wok in the park."

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Ragna_Blade
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 14 2020
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I applied for a job as a short order cook...

...but I didn’t get the job. They said I was too tall.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 13
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/youtellmebob
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 21 2020
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When your mom said β€œGet you a man that can cook”...

She didn’t mean crack or meth, Karen.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/andersonfmly
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 09 2020
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What do you call a class that teaches how to cook and eat people?

A cannibal lecture.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 37
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Kailyncookie
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 24 2020
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I need to cook faster.

I’m running out of thyme

πŸ‘οΈŽ 8
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Yurastupidbitch
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 29 2020
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What kind of oven doesn't cook food evenly?

A baker's doesn't.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 9
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/KinG-Mu
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 16 2020
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I am such an amazing cook...

even the smoke alarm cheers me on!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 14
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/SyncingShiip
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 17 2020
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How do astronauts cook their meals?

With a Space Heater!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Naitraen
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 20 2020
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Someone asked me why I use lots of spices whenever I cook

So I said thyme is of the essence

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/GrandmasterTactician
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 27 2020
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What do you call a woman who loves to cook up trouble?

Miss-chef

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/T1M3Tim
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 16 2020
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Why wouldn't the Army cook ever serve cake, ice cream or pies?

He was afraid of being charged with dessert-tion.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 11
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/CIMMGW
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 28 2020
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The farmer decided to cook the meanest cow he had

It made excellent jerky!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/last_second_cramming
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 17 2020
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What did Tim Cook call his camera?

iBall.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/not_flexy
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 30 2020
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I was gonna cook some garlic butter mushrooms, you know, spice up a meal

Then I realised, ain’t anybody got thyme for that.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 22
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/mechie_mech_mechface
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 06 2020
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What does a cook from Nothern England say when he leaves?

"Ta-ra, gone!"

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/maud_brijeulin
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 03 2020
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I thought my nephew couldn't cook fish.

He "cod" me by surprise.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Ishmam7and7
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 06 2020
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Why can’t you cook wood on the stove?

Because it’s a non-stick pan...

πŸ‘οΈŽ 16
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/d__n__a
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 08 2020
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My friend Robert was going on and on about how great it is to cook food on a stick.

So I just said, β€œK, Bob.”

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/KingInTheNorth57
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 19 2020
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What do you call it when a group of giraffes have a beef kebob cook off?

A high steaks poker tournament

πŸ‘οΈŽ 18
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/DeathMyMetal
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 02 2020
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What do you say to a noisy cook?

Shut the chef up!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/sodapopinski83
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 25 2020
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What does an alligator cook in?

A crock-pot.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 32
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Rick--Diculous
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 26 2020
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Why don't Japanese cannibals cook their food?

Because they prefer raw men.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/leif_hans
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 13 2020
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What's the best way to cook alligator?

In a crock pot.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 25
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/KiwiCandle
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 10 2020
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My wife asked me if she could have some peace and quiet while she tried to cook dinner.

So i took the batteries out of the smoke alarm

πŸ‘οΈŽ 48
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Derextus
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 29 2020
🚨︎ report

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