What puns can I tell when I want to tell my friends I got a boyfriend?
π︎ 4
π
︎ Oct 23 2020
What puns can you make containing the word "rush?"
π︎ 2
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︎ Mar 26 2018
What do you call 2 birds stuck together?
π︎ 8k
π
︎ Feb 21 2021
A reporter interviewed a 103-year old woman: βAnd what is the best thing about being 103?β the reporter asked.
The woman simply replied, βNo peer pressure.β
π︎ 6k
π
︎ Feb 12 2021
What has two butts and kills people?
An assassin
.
Edit: thank you guys so much for the rewards! I was told this joke from my 9 year old sister, she was well chuffed to see all the votes and people thinking she was funny!
π︎ 3k
π
︎ Feb 21 2021
What do you call two octopuses that look the same?
π︎ 9k
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︎ Jan 28 2021
What a lad being a ruthless guy
π︎ 6k
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︎ Feb 03 2021
Barack Obama went to a costume party giving his wife a piggyback. Someone asks what he is and says "I'm a snail!"
"That's M'Shell on my back!"
π︎ 11k
π
︎ Jan 25 2021
At the end of the physics lecture, I asked my professor, βWhat happened before The Big Bang?β
He said, βSorry. There is no Time.β
π︎ 9k
π
︎ Jan 30 2021
What would happen if the USA switched from Pounds to Kilograms?
There would be mass confusion
π︎ 926
π
︎ Feb 16 2021
What do you call a happy cowboy?
π︎ 5k
π
︎ Jan 31 2021
What begins with the letter W and ends with the letter T
π︎ 137
π
︎ Feb 20 2021
What's the difference between Mordor and the Capital?
One does not simply walk into Mordor
π︎ 10k
π
︎ Jan 09 2021
What did Tennessee?
π︎ 2k
π
︎ Jan 31 2021
What do you call a snake that's 3.14 feet long?
π︎ 1k
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︎ Feb 04 2021
The genie asked, "Whatβs your first wish?" Steve replied, "I wish I was rich!" The genie nodded and said, "Whatβs your second wish?"
Rich exclaimed, "I want lots of money!"
π︎ 17k
π
︎ Dec 22 2020
This is the... wait, what?
π︎ 4k
π
︎ Jan 18 2021
Within minutes, the detectives figured out what the murder weapon was.
π︎ 5k
π
︎ Jan 27 2021
What is an Air Fryer's favorite food? (Courtesy of my 6 year old)
Air-vrything.
I'm so proud.
π︎ 15k
π
︎ Dec 26 2020
What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet?
π︎ 796
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︎ Feb 05 2021
What do call a bike trail that shows no empathy.
π︎ 6k
π
︎ Jan 15 2021
My 6 year old just told me this joke... What's stronger than a fortune cookie?
π︎ 13k
π
︎ Dec 21 2020
What do you call a paper airplane that can't fly?
π︎ 11k
π
︎ Dec 28 2020
What did one boob say to another ?
If we donβt get support, theyβll think weβre nuts
π︎ 533
π
︎ Feb 15 2021
Why is 6 afraid of 7? (The answer is not what you're thinking)
Not what you're thinking.
π︎ 327
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︎ Feb 10 2021
What works faster than a calculator?
π︎ 9k
π
︎ Dec 30 2020
What do you call someone who points out the obvious?
Someone who points out the obvious.
π︎ 797
π
︎ Feb 01 2021
What's blue and doesn't weigh much?
π︎ 10k
π
︎ Dec 14 2020
What gender pronouns do chocolates use?
π︎ 523
π
︎ Feb 13 2021
What gender pronouns does a chocolate bar use?
π︎ 511
π
︎ Feb 07 2021
Do you know whats the best thing about dead batteries?
π︎ 140
π
︎ Feb 20 2021
What do you call a bee that flys to America?
π︎ 231
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︎ Feb 20 2021
I was figuring out what career path I should take.
Geology rocks, geography is where itβs at. But ultimately, making mirrors is what I really see myself doing.
π︎ 33
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︎ Feb 07 2021
Momma always told me "you are what you eat!" So I started eating mushrooms every day.
I wanted to become a fun guy.
π︎ 3k
π
︎ Jan 07 2021
What do you get when you pick a pig's nose?
Ham boogers.
I know, I know, snot funny.
-Edit-
Thanks for the awards guys! First silver! :-D
π︎ 3k
π
︎ Jan 11 2021
What do you call a pregnant person in a suit of armour?
π︎ 168
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︎ Feb 18 2021
What's the difference between a mosquito and a fly?
A mosquito can fly but a fly can't mosquito.
My 11 year old daughter told me this one this evening lol.
π︎ 475
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︎ Feb 02 2021
What's the opposite of ladyfingers?
π︎ 210
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︎ Feb 20 2021
What do you call a typo on a headstone?
π︎ 15k
π
︎ Dec 05 2020
From r/askreddit's thread "If your sex life was a country, what country would it be and why?"
π︎ 3k
π
︎ Dec 30 2020
What do you call a teenager who never grows up?
π︎ 276
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︎ Jan 29 2021
What was Old MacDonald's favorite toy as a child?
π︎ 328
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︎ Feb 06 2021
What does Reese Witherspoon call her gun collection?
π︎ 465
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︎ Feb 09 2021
What is the difference between a radius and a diameter?
π︎ 771
π
︎ Jan 16 2021
What did the Indian kid say to his mother before he left the house?
π︎ 231
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︎ Feb 13 2021
Son: "Dad, what are condoms used for ?"
Dad: "To avoid such questions."
π︎ 3k
π
︎ Jan 12 2021
What kind of shoes do bakers wear?
π︎ 312
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︎ Jan 22 2021
I wonder what my parents did to fight boredom before the internet?
I asked my 18 brothers and sisters and they don't know either.
π︎ 1k
π
︎ Jan 21 2021
What do you call a native Alaskan eye doctor??
An Optical Aleutian
Iβll see myself out...
π︎ 10k
π
︎ Dec 01 2020
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