Why do bouncers throw violent drunks out the back door?
Because they belong behind bars.
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︎ Feb 16 2021
What do you get when you throw a piano down a mineshaft?
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︎ Apr 03 2021
What did Donatello and Raphael throw out their office window?
The shredder. They fought with it too much.
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︎ Apr 08 2021
I have started carrying a piece of stone with me to throw at people who sing Christmas songs before Thanksgiving.
Itβs my jingle bell rock.
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︎ Oct 17 2020
I had to throw an entire box of animal crackers away.
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︎ Mar 24 2021
Watching my kid throw my brand new phone out the window is the last thing I wanted to see today...
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︎ Mar 12 2021
While waiting for a school-related live stream, me and my friend decided to throw words at each other and make puns out of them. This is one of my most proudest puns.
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︎ Mar 02 2021
When you want to throw things at French politicians, an egg is un Εuf
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︎ Mar 01 2021
I decided to throw a block of butter off my roof today...
I guess i could say that i saw a butterfly
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︎ Feb 26 2021
Why did the kid throw an ice cream into the ocean?
He wanted to see if he could make an ice cream float..
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︎ Mar 23 2021
What happens when you throw a grenade into a French kitchen?
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︎ Mar 18 2021
What does Mjolnir become when Thor throws it?
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︎ Feb 28 2021
Why did the baker throw away the bread someone gave him?
Because he didn't knead it!
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︎ Feb 19 2021
I just had a guy throw milk at me
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︎ Dec 24 2020
Why did the old man throw his clock out of the window?
Because he wanted to see time fly!
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︎ Feb 23 2021
Caught my kids throwing sticks of butter up in the air in our backyard.
They said they wanted to see butterflies!
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︎ Mar 24 2021
What kind of temper tantrums do fake presidents always throw?
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︎ Mar 13 2021
I forgot how to throw a boomerang
but then it came back to me
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︎ Jan 21 2021
My wife asked if our kids were spoiled.
I said, βNo, I think most kids smell that way.β
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︎ Apr 01 2021
I asked all the countries in the world if they wanted to throw a party. All of them told me they can't because of covid.
Only one was like "Yemen"
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︎ Jan 11 2021
Please do not throw cigarette butts in the urinals
It makes them soggy and hard to light
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︎ Feb 25 2021
Javelin is the best throwing event.
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︎ Feb 15 2021
I saw one of my neighbors throwing their trash into another neighbor's trashcan
I told him to stop trash passing.
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︎ Feb 01 2021
Your honor is it illegal to throw sodium chloride in someone's eyes?
Judge: it's assault
I know it's a salt, is it a crime though?
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︎ Jan 17 2021
Why did Bach throw away his harpsichord?
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︎ Jan 27 2021
What do you call a boomerang that doesn't return, no matter how you throw it?
I don't know, but I'm tired of getting hit with these bananas!
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︎ Jan 28 2021
What do you call a stuffed toy pig when throw like a football?
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︎ Feb 13 2021
My two sons were throwing scrabble pieces at each other.
My wife said, "It's all fun until someone loses an "I".
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︎ Jan 19 2021
Your undergraduate diploma was a complete waste of money, you should throw it in the fire.
That's a first degree burn.
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︎ Jan 28 2021
Somebody threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at my head.
It's OK though as my injuries are only super fish oil.
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︎ Feb 19 2021
At my book club, I wondered why they were throwing Stephen King novels around.
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︎ Nov 15 2020
I throw up whenever i hear a joke
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︎ Jul 11 2020
I saw a man at the supermarket today, throw all the milk, butter, cream and yoghurt off the shelves, in a rage.
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︎ Nov 28 2020
I used to know how to throw a boomerang
It's not coming back to me now.
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︎ Nov 16 2020
If killing a man is homicide
is killing a friend homiecide
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︎ Mar 17 2021
Throwing acid is wrong...
...in some peopleβs eyes.
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︎ Jan 07 2021
You know how they throw the ball into the crowd after they win the game?
Apparently, that's not allowed in bowling. I know that now.
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︎ Dec 09 2020
*Throws boomerang*
Well.. I think we all know where that one's going.
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︎ Dec 10 2020
When French people make bread, they throw the dough at the window to see if it's ready to bake
I guess that's why they call it window pain.
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︎ Dec 25 2020
A man asks a police officer if itβs a crime to throw sodium chloride in someoneβs eyes
Officer: βYes, thatβs assault!β
Man: βI know itβs a salt, but is it a crime?β
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︎ Nov 14 2020
Big Foot has been spotted throwing tantrums and talking back to his parents.
No wonder they call him the Sassquatch.
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︎ Nov 28 2020
I forgot how to throw a boomerang
but then it came back to me
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︎ Feb 18 2021
I wondered why my daughter was throwing all my Stephen King books around the room. And thenβ¦
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︎ Nov 18 2020
What do you get when you throw a piano down a mineshaft?
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︎ Nov 11 2020
At my book club, I wondered why they were throwing Stephen King novels around...
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︎ Nov 17 2020
Don't throw sodium chloride at people
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︎ Nov 18 2020
Don't throw sodium chloride at people.
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︎ Nov 28 2020
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