Got chucked out of the zoo for feeding the ducks...
My friend thought I chucked a freshly eaten apple at his face.
What did Donald Trump say when his wife chucked a plate across the room
They invented Chuck Norris toilet paper.
It wouldn’t take shit from anybody.
Chuck Norris once threw a grenade that killed 50 people.
Chuck Norris once went skydiving, but he won’t do it again.
One Grand Canyon is enough.
Chuck Norris once visited the Virgin Islands.
They are now known as the Islands.
Chuck Norris once made a bet with Superman
The loser had to wear their underwear on the outside of their pants.
Before Chuck Norris left for college…
He told his father “You’re the man of the house now.”
A snail walks into a bar a the barman says, “Sorry we don’t serve your kind round here” and chucks him out
5 years later the snail goes back to the same bar and asks the barman, “What’s your f***in’ problem mate?!”
Our friend Chuck disappeared from our message group for months, so we started calling him Huck.
What Do You Call A Religious Weapon
I hear Chuck Norris never drank coffee.
Who can drink 5 Litres of petrol and survive?
How much wood would Chuck Norris chuck if Chuck Norris could chuck wood?
When Chuck Norris tells a dad joke, no one groans
But they die laughing.
(Any other CN dad jokes?)
What do you get if you boil a funny bone?
I once considered robbing a butcher shop that was located at the very top of a 20 story building
but the steaks were too high.
Why is a cow better than a moose?
A cow moos, but a moose doesn't cow.
My wife got mad because I don’t know Eminem’s real name.
I just don’t see why it Mathers
What do you call beef that’s gone bad?
What do you call a catholic person named chuck?
What’s the difference between top round and chuck?
One is meat from the butt of a cow and the other’s my buddy Charles.
I used to have a job drilling holes for water
Did you hear Chuck Norris keeps a gun in his beard?
They say he calls it his chin strap.
I just dropped a heavy box of berries on my foot. SMH...
Woodchucks Don’t Chuck Wood
What do you call a cow with no legs?
A farmer asked me to help him round up his sheep
I said "well how many have you got?"
He said "38"
I said "That's easy, it's 40." and went on my way.
Have you heard that Chuck Norris is 81?
For such and old guy, I’m glad to here he’s still kicking
What’s Bruce Lee’s favorite drink?
I still tell Chuck Norris jokes from time to time.
He laughs most of the time.
I would love to tell you my secret recipe for my famous Indian flatbread, but first:
I'll need you to sign a naan-disclosure agreement.
What do you call a catholic lady who knows martial arts?
in most states when you lose your khakis it means you lost your pants
In Boston it means you can't drive
The power of my nun-chucks
I just saw that Chuck Yeager has died
...and then I heard it a few seconds later
Did you hear about the guy who made nunchucks from Bruce Lee's bones?
He got in a fight and was arrested for assault with a dead Lee weapon
How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
A woodchuck could chuck a CHUNK of wood if a woodchuck would chuck wood.
Superman and Chuck Norris made a bet
Whoever loses the fight has to wear their underwear on the outside.
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