A drunk wakes up in jail, "Why am I here officer?"
"For drinking." replies the cop.
"Great" says the man. "When do we start?"
How did a heart end up in jail?
There was a cardiac arrest
If a short psychic broke out of jail...
You'd have a small medium at large
A dwarf who was a mystic escaped from jail.
The news said there was a small medium at large.
100% effective method to not go to jail
What did the musician play that landed him in jail?
My brother went to jail. He didn't take it well. Started insulting and attacking everyone and threw his own feces on the walls.
I don't think we'll play Monopoly with him again.
Why did the duck got into jail?
What do you call a bodybuilder in jail?
The prosecutor offered the ballet dancer two choices after she did not pay her mountain of parking tickets. A) Say guilty, pay them off, and get probation for 6 months or B) Say Not Guilty and go to trial and perhaps serve 6 months in jail.
Why did the picture go to jail?
My brother hated going to jail
He refused to eat or drink anything, spat on everyone and covered the walls with his own feces...
We never played monopoly again.
If I ever go to jail I am making sure I get the nickname ‘mitochondria’
The powerhouse of the cell
A rich man who got sent to jail decided to pay to upgrade his prison cell.
He is now behind gold bars.
Son, do you know why was the picture sent to jail?
After I joined the army, I served in a furious war of Iraq , when we came home, I was sent to jail, I don't understand why......
My lieutenant said , fire in the hole and I fired In his hole .
Why will you never find a farmer in jail?
They can always make bale.
My whole family witnessed me going to jail
We have to play something other than monopoly next time
After years of being in jail, Lance, a reporter was released from prison.
Jails are living things
Because they’re made of cells
When 6ix9ine gets out of jail,
He'll be the first mumble rapper to finish his sentence
Did you hear about the midget fortune teller that broke out of jail?
Police are saying there is a small medium at large
Why did Carl Wheezer go to jail
Hear about the author in jail?
They put him in the writers block. Couldn’t get past his first sentence.
Why did the baby go to jail?
Because he was resisting a rest.
Mike Tyson ended up in jail for having diarrhea
He mad a meth in the bathroom
Prisoner tunnels out of jail and emerges in a school playground shouting “I’m free”!
Little girl walks up and shouts “I’m four!”
I wanted to marry my English teacher when she got out of jail
But apparently you're not allowed to end a sentence with a proposition.
[In court] Judge: After seeing all the evidence, I am sending you to jail.
Judge: What did you say?
Defendant: Thanks for reversing my sentence.
Two prisoners are working in the laundry room on the top floor of the jail.
After a couple hours, the guard on duty steps away to use the bathroom.
The one prisoner says: "Quick, this is our chance to escape. We only have a few minutes so have to work together. You rip bedsheets into strips and I'll tie them into a rope, then we can climb down through the window.
The other agrees, "Got it. I sheet, you knot."
How can a Catholic get out of jail?
I was thrown in jail for not having twine!
My PE teacher told me I was so bad at golf that I should go to golf jail
It would be a shame if they putt me in there.
My wife was in jail, so I decided to go in for a conjugal visit.
The kids will never play Monopoly with us again.
Last night in jail, they gave us mint chocolates for dessert. I thought they'd be be gross, but they were actually pretty good! Turns out...
...that in-prison mint isn't as bad as I expected!
If you think being in quarantine is like being in jail
Consider it as being in Sanitary Confinement.
When the dark knight leaves jail...
A midget psychic broke out of jail.
It’s a small medium at large situation.
Why did the duck go to jail?
Why did the duck go to jail
Why did the picture go to jail?
What do you call a dwarf clairvoiyant who just escaped jail?
Did you hear about the English teacher who went to jail?
Jail is more than just a word...
What do you call a psychic midget who has escaped from jail.
What do you call a five foot psychic that's escaped from jail?
My son didn't cope well with going to jail.
He refused to eat or drink anything. He swore at everyone and covered his room with his own shit.
After that, we never played Monopoly again.