A list of puns related to "Convict"
A lepercon
...no noose is good news.
A small medium at large.
In that case, they had evidence.
Convict: Well if u r what you eat, I'm an innocent man.
(Credit to my man Bryce)
He was out on bale.
I have to tell you, it was a little condescending.
guess it really was a close shave.
He was charged with arboring criminals
Heβs now got a bounty on his head and his ass.
He couldnβt finish his sentence.
Itβs like finding a needle in a haystack.
If we don't find him, we'll use two eyes
When I asked why he showed me a bundle of wires and said, "It's all confused."
They both have rap sheets.
Expunge Bob
no matter what he's still arson
The First man says: I committed 2nd degree murder
The Second says: I committed: 1st degree assault
The Third says: I committed 1st degree possession of drugs
The Fourth man simply says: Arson
The Second man asks him: What degree was it?
The Fourth man responds: I'm not sure, it was pretty hot though. About 525 Celsius-ish
It's called, "Prose and Cons".
I was given 12 months.
Quantumamo Bay.
Dear Sir,
this is the federal prosecutor's office, informing you that you've been convicted and charged on seven counts of piracy.
sadly this is the 3rd case this week of a pop pop crop-top crop top pop hop
But then I did the hokey-pokey, and I turned myself around.
Because he doesnβt want to be spotted
are they guilty of resisting a rest?
A perp hole.
It just didnβt add up.
The prosecutor was sure that he had concrete evidence of the crime.
Because they're generous seeders, and they have to be tried by a jury of their peers.
A police van carrying 12 convicts crashed into a cement mixer.
Police are now looking for a dozen hardened criminals.
He had a LOCO MOTIVE
The jokes were dead-on, really a killer performance.
He got the full sentence
He won the conviction, but slipped up on appeal.
Because he was framed.
It was a criminal Enterprise
Condescending
It's a killer.
Han shot first.β
What tree do you wipe your hands on? A palm tree!
I heard a scary math joke, but Iβm 2^^2 to tell it!
Have you heard of that new movie, βConstipationβ? Well it doesnβt matter, it never came out.
I hurt myself when I went to a theme park in florida. When I went to the doctor, he started wrapping up my left leg, but then I pointed at my right and said βNo, doc, itβs dis knee.β
Last night I got mugged by 6 dwarves. Not Happy.
When Queen Elizabeth farts, everyone in the room must pretend like nothing happened. Noble Gasses donβt cause reactions, after all.
Whatβs the difference between a seal and a sea lion? One electron.
What happens to nitrogen when the sun rises? It becomes Daytrogen!
I called the animal shelter today and said "I've found six kittens in a suitcase in the woods." They said "Are they moving?" I replied "I don't know, but that would explain the suitcase."
Why canβt you trust Atoms? Because they make up everything!
Why do nerds wear glasses? It helps with division.
Why should you tiptoe past the medicine cabinet? You donβt wanna wake the sleeping pills.
What twitches and is found at the bottom of the ocean? A nervous wreck!
What do you call a fat psychic? A four chin teller!
What do you call a 3 foot tall psychic on the run from the law? A small medium at large!
Help, I canβt stop reading books with female protagonists! Iβm a heroine addict!
How did Sparticus react when he ate his wife for dinner? He was gladiator!
When does a joke become a dad joke? When the punchline becomes apparent!
19 and 20 got into a fight⦠21.
My friend told me, βPeople who sell meat are disgusting!β So I said, βYeah, well people who sell fruits and vegetables are grocer!β
How can turtles take photos of themselves? Shell-fie sticks!
What do you call a secret agent molecule? Bondβ¦ ionic bond. βTaken, not shared.β What did the dinosaur say to the other dinosaur? (Cut this part, but make a screeching noise)
How much does Santaβs sleigh cost? $0, itβs on the house.
If America switched from pounds to kilograms overnight there would be mass confusion.
I had a splinter once; it eventually got out of hand.
Iβm going to go stand outside. If anyone asks, Iβm outstanding.
Most people are shocked to find out how terrible an electrician I am!
What do mermaids wash their fins with? Tide Whatβs the coolest place to use the bathroom? The Lil Jon
Did you know that on average, people want three covers on their bed at all times? But thatβs just a blanket statem
... keep reading on reddit β‘After all, it's just trial and error.
Are they all they were cracked up to be?
Sentenced to life in prism.
It just didnβt add up...
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