The Pilgrim's Pride CEO plead "not guilty" today in a poultry price-fixing case

What a chicken.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/badenglishihave
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 05
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Which US president was least guilty?

Lincoln. Cause he was in a cent.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/cyclopropagative
๐Ÿ“…︎ Mar 28
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A man was found guilty as charged in a lawsuit filed by Netflix...

It was after a 30-day trial.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/dubaidadjokes
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 11
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Why does the second Sunday in May always make Shaft feel guilty?

He is a bad mother.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Jayrandomer
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 30
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Who is the least guilty president?

Abraham Lincoln because he's in-a-cent

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Poshmalosh14
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 07
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Judge: I hereby find you guilty for all crimes you have been charged with. For sentencing I order you to spend life behind bars without possibility of parole

Criminal: That's a long sentence, I demand a shorter one.

Judge: U did it. Go 2 jail forever.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 531
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/johnblu5
๐Ÿ“…︎ Dec 12 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Why is Abe Lincoln the least guilty out of all the presidents of the USA?

Because he is In a cent

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Anthonybrose
๐Ÿ“…︎ Feb 25
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
If a child refuses to sleep during nap time, are they guilty of resisting a rest?
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/ioannis_03
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 15 2019
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[OC]What type of fart is the most guilty?

The one that ends up running.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/CobaltD70
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 31
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Why was neutron not guilty of crime?

Because it couldn't be charged

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/getintocollegern
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 30 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
If a child refuses to sleep during nap time, does that mean they're guilty of resisting a rest?
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/CarsonLarson
๐Ÿ“…︎ Sep 30 2019
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Convict: I plead not guilty Judge: What is your defense

Convict: Well if u r what you eat, I'm an innocent man.

(Credit to my man Bryce)

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Tricky_Nick007
๐Ÿ“…︎ Dec 11 2019
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The painting was found guilty . . .

and hung the next day.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/boogerknows
๐Ÿ“…︎ Oct 23 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
a mate's just been found guilty of using too many commas...

...the judge warned him to expect a long sentence

๐Ÿ‘︎ 13
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/mellon_coliee
๐Ÿ“…︎ Dec 03 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Who was the least guilty president?

Abraham Lincoln. He was in a cent (innocent).

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๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 28 2019
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A woman was found guilty and the judge declared she will serve 10 years in prison or she can sleep with him. He got in trouble for

Ending a sentence with a proposition.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/justryingtokeepup
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 03 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
A man killed his wife with some luggage and was instantly found guilty.

It was a briefcase.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 13
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/DirtyMudder92
๐Ÿ“…︎ Oct 11 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Which President is the least guilty?

Lincoln. Heโ€™s in a cent

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Andyh10s
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 05 2019
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The jury found me guilty. I asked the judge what the punishment would be, and he said: "Well..."

Suspended sentence

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/kickypie
๐Ÿ“…︎ Oct 06 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
How did the cannibal plead guilty?

"Well, if you are what you eat, then I'm an innocent man!"

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/redditsmeeh
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 17 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
My friend was found guilty of using too many commas.

The judge warned him to expect a really long sentence.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/juicy-tomato
๐Ÿ“…︎ Mar 04 2019
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Guilty!
๐Ÿ‘︎ 3k
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/emrosto0l
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 29 2018
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Who is the only U.S. president who is completely not guilty.

Abraham Lincoln, because he is "in-a-cent"

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/ModernAmerican52
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 07 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
If a kid refuses to sleep during nap time, are they guilty of resisting a rest?
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Shwoopsx7
๐Ÿ“…︎ Dec 02 2018
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
A man was found guilty of overusing commas.

The judge warned him to expect a really long sentence.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/porichoygupto
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 06 2019
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(X-post) A man was found guilty of electrifying a guy to his death.

The charge was quite severe.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 9
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Pun-isher42
๐Ÿ“…︎ Dec 26 2018
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Which American president was the least guilty?

Lincoln. He was in a cent.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Peyton_Panda626
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 10 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
If a child refuses to sleep during nap time, are they guilty of resisting a rest?

For more jokes, please check out this video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R9vyikZJ58I

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/BigChrisDon
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 25 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
The least guilty president is Abraham Lincoln.

It's because he's in a cent.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Maise12
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 05 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Which American president is least guilty..

Lincoln - He's in a cent

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/zahi36501
๐Ÿ“…︎ Dec 17 2017
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Which American president is the least guilty of anything?

Lincoln. He was in a cent.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/ChStad2
๐Ÿ“…︎ Mar 10 2018
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The Code of Hammurabi, written on a stele, includes the concept of innocent before guilty

It is truly a momental piece in legal history.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Pun-isher42
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 14 2019
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Guilty as charged
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/iowafarmboy2011
๐Ÿ“…︎ Oct 22 2016
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
A gangster recently plead guilty for beating a cow to death in a rice field using two porcelain figures.

Authorities say itโ€™s the first first time theyโ€™ve ever dealt with a knick knack patty wack.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Adamkm92
๐Ÿ“…︎ Mar 29 2018
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Lincoln was the least guilty US president

He's in a cent.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/memeswiththatcheese
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jul 29 2018
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Guilty as charged

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/moses10960
๐Ÿ“…︎ Mar 10 2018
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Why was Abraham Lincoln never found guilty of a crime?

He was in a cent.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 18
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/ande4100
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 08 2018
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Which American president was the least guilty?

Abraham Lincoln. He was in a cent.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 49
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/PikachuIsConfuzzled
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 30 2017
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
What did Trump say after being found guilty of colluding with the Russians?

"Oops, pardon me."

๐Ÿ‘︎ 6
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/canadaduane
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 27 2017
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Who was the president that was never guilty?

Abe Lincoln. He was in a cent.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/gavino245
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jul 04 2015
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
I am guilty of a dad joke

Trying to make it to the theater on time for a show, with my 12 year old daughter next to me, stuck behind a very slow-moving Cadillac Escalade. Suddenly I throw up some gang symbols and scream "Yo, move it, Escalade, befo things get... Escaladed!"

Daughter goes "omigod" and buries her face in her hands.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Rupispupis
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 16 2015
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Guilty of Dad Joke While Driving.

While driving back home, my sister says that she "saw a family of deer coming back from work." To which I replied with "Oh, where do they work?". Got a solid guffaw and a groan.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/dlightning08
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 17 2015
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I am guilty of most of these.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kjl1-UW4sYU
I assume this is relevant.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Jsciz
๐Ÿ“…︎ Sep 07 2013
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If a child refuses to sleep during nap time, are they guilty of resisting a rest?
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/notdadbot
๐Ÿ“…︎ Oct 30 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Which US president was the least guilty?

Lincoln, because he was in a cent

๐Ÿ‘︎ 55
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/_TheTrashPanda
๐Ÿ“…︎ Sep 03 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
If a child refuses to sleep during nap time, are they guilty of resisting a rest?
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/notdadbot
๐Ÿ“…︎ Oct 29 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
If a child refuses to sleep during nap time, are they guilty of resisting a rest?
๐Ÿ‘︎ 9
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/notdadbot
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 12 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Lincoln was the least guilty president

Because he was in a cent

๐Ÿ‘︎ 6
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/hotsprings1234
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 12 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
If a child refuses to sleep during nap time, are they guilty of resisting a rest?
๐Ÿ‘︎ 19
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Cloraxbleach420
๐Ÿ“…︎ Aug 16 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
If a child refuses to sleep during nap time, are they guilty of resisting a rest?
๐Ÿ‘︎ 17
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/ruchi565
๐Ÿ“…︎ Oct 01 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Why wasn't Abraham Lincoln guilty?

Because he was in-a-cent

๐Ÿ‘︎ 6
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/ItzPhoen1x
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jul 01 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
If a child refuses to sleep during nap time, are they guilty of resisting a rest?
๐Ÿ‘︎ 17k
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/korpsart
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 09 2017
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Which president was the least guilty?

Lincoln, because he was in-a-cent.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 13
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/chuckyocouch_
๐Ÿ“…︎ Sep 04 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
If a child refuses to sleep during nap time, are they guilty of resisting a rest?
๐Ÿ‘︎ 9
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/ryannbajaj
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 11 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
If a child refuses to sleep during nap time, are they guilty of resisting a rest?
๐Ÿ‘︎ 84
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/jihana13
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 27 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
A man was found guilty of overusing commas.

The judge warned him to expect a really long sentence.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 11
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/moses10960
๐Ÿ“…︎ Feb 01 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
If a kid refuses to sleep during nap time, are they guilty of resisting a rest?
๐Ÿ‘︎ 6k
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/TheSupraDixk
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 25 2016
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Which American President was least guilty?

Lincoln, because he was in a cent.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 76
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Allison_Burgers
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jul 21 2013
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
If a kid refuses to sleep during nap time, they are guilty of resisting a rest.
๐Ÿ‘︎ 6
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/AsLongAsYouKnow
๐Ÿ“…︎ Oct 16 2013
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
What president was least guilty?

Lincoln. He was in a cent.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 2
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/UnusuallyClassic
๐Ÿ“…︎ Mar 25 2015
๐Ÿšจ︎ report

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