Mother-in-law is in Prison. Need a good prison pun for Mothers Day Card.

So the hardest part is it has to be uplifting/cute like all the other mothers day cards, can't just be a simple jail/robber pun.

So far I got:

You're ex-cell-ent mom!

I'd break into a maximom security prison for you!

Hope your mothers day is on point! (with a diagram of a shank)

^((But they're kind of trash))

Ideas from others:

Most people have a mother-in-law but I get to have a mother-outlaw! u/tcbst15

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/vitamorior
πŸ“…︎ May 02 2019
🚨︎ report
Was driving by the prison the other night when I saw a midget climbing down from a window.

I said to myself, that’s a little condescending

πŸ‘︎ 114
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πŸ‘€︎ u/awag80
πŸ“…︎ Dec 26 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a fortune telling midget who just escaped from prison?

a small medium at large.

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/firriki
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11
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I have a twin brother in prison

We finish each other's sentences.

πŸ‘︎ 30
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11
🚨︎ report
A cement mixer and a prison bus crashed on the highway...

Police advise citizens to be on the lookout for a group of hardened criminals!

πŸ‘︎ 206
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πŸ‘€︎ u/crazyfortaco
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2020
🚨︎ report
Authorities are searching for a four-foot tall woman who recently escaped from prison in upstate New York. She was serving a five year sentence for fraud after convincing a number of victims that she was a powerful psychic.

Now she's a small medium at large.

πŸ‘︎ 77
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πŸ‘€︎ u/eggsaladapologist
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2020
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Why is it a good idea to put more books in prison libraries?

Because the prose outweigh the cons.

πŸ‘︎ 208
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dadjo_kes
πŸ“…︎ Oct 23 2020
🚨︎ report
Do you have any idea what they do to eggs in prison?

I'll tell you thisβ€” It ain't over easy.

πŸ‘︎ 64
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πŸ‘€︎ u/invertedparadoxxx
πŸ“…︎ Oct 01 2020
🚨︎ report
Just got offered a job teaching poetry in prison.

Spent all night thinking about the prose and cons.

πŸ‘︎ 224
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πŸ‘€︎ u/midget_clown
πŸ“…︎ Sep 12 2020
🚨︎ report
The person who had once kidnapped me got released after serving 10 years in prison. Since then, I secretly follow him to his house every single day without his knowledge.

I guess I'm suffering from 'stalk home' syndrome.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sodomicity
πŸ“…︎ Dec 03 2020
🚨︎ report
The man was finally about to escape prison when he realised he forgot something. He ran back and grabbed acne cream. Why?

He was breaking out.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/0lSherlockl0
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2020
🚨︎ report
I just heard on the news, Adele has been sent to prison for 8 years

She was charged for setting fire to Lorraine

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Folically-endowed
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2020
🚨︎ report
How did the space criminal escape from the prison planet?

He achieved ESCAPE VELOCITY

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Schrodingers_liar
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2020
🚨︎ report
Today I saw a dwarf climbing down a prison wall.

I thought to myself, β€œThat’s a little condescending.”

πŸ‘︎ 325
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sierrasport
πŸ“…︎ Aug 05 2020
🚨︎ report
The Government Accidentally Built A Prison Outside My Home,

I Guess You Could Say I'm Under House Arrest.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MichiMichu
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the Beever that was sent to prison.

The evidence against him was damming.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jarl_draven
πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2020
🚨︎ report
The prison fundraising boxing tournament was on again off again

The warden had to weigh the pros and cons

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/darkstarman
πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2020
🚨︎ report
I sent my daughter to prison because she didn't want to sleep

She was resisting a rest

πŸ‘︎ 32
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πŸ‘€︎ u/egasz
πŸ“…︎ Oct 10 2020
🚨︎ report
A rich man who got sent to jail decided to pay to upgrade his prison cell.

He is now behind gold bars.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tyckt206
πŸ“…︎ Oct 01 2020
🚨︎ report
Why are female prisoners kept in separate prisons?

Because most prisoners are in cells.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Masked_Death
πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2020
🚨︎ report
In the history of crime literature, which character has been the most effective at getting people out of prison?

The dot "."

It has ended more sentences than anything else.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ultimadark
πŸ“…︎ Sep 28 2020
🚨︎ report
A midget escaped from prison by using bed sheets tied together and scaled down the outside wall. He left a note detailing his escape plan, highlighting the prison guards stupidity and incompetence.

The Warden said "he's a little condescending"

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/johnblu5
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2020
🚨︎ report
A man called his twin brother from prison

β€œHey remember when we were kids and use to finish each other’s sentences?”

πŸ‘︎ 5k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lazydoodlelol
πŸ“…︎ Mar 03 2020
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Prison Humor
πŸ‘︎ 109
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RogueDisciple
πŸ“…︎ Jul 31 2020
🚨︎ report
Found a old jukebox in prison...

It was full of criminal records.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/chawjubs
πŸ“…︎ Sep 12 2020
🚨︎ report
A psychic dwarf broke out of prison the other day, what did the headlines say?

There’s small medium at large

πŸ‘︎ 58
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πŸ‘€︎ u/50pciggy
πŸ“…︎ Aug 03 2020
🚨︎ report
What is it called when you get sent to a prison made of only two elements?

A compound sentence

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Sep 06 2020
🚨︎ report
A man was sentenced to 20 years in prison when he inadvertently contaminated the food supply of 30 specimens of America’s national bird.

His actions were highly ill-eagle

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/linknt01
πŸ“…︎ Sep 23 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a fish that is in prison?

Selfish

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/abnsh
πŸ“…︎ Sep 13 2020
🚨︎ report
My brother, who stutters alot, went to prison...

Its a shame that he won’t finish his sentence

πŸ‘︎ 52
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Yaboibaka
πŸ“…︎ Aug 19 2020
🚨︎ report
After years of being in jail, Lance, a reporter was released from prison.

Now he's freelance

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Anthonybrose
πŸ“…︎ Aug 11 2020
🚨︎ report
Why does working at a prison suck?

Because it's full of cons.

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ShiningConcepts
πŸ“…︎ Aug 06 2020
🚨︎ report
i got a prison sentence

i don't remember what it said.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/wesamzxc
πŸ“…︎ Aug 21 2020
🚨︎ report
How did Hitler write Mien Kampf while in prison?

It was a struggle

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/sarcasticpremed
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22 2020
🚨︎ report
I watched a dwarf escape from prison today. As he climbed down the fence, he smirked at me.

I thought to myself, "Hmmm, that's a little condescending."

πŸ‘︎ 89
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kordesii2358
πŸ“…︎ May 06 2020
🚨︎ report
An alcoholic wakes up in prison

He asks the first police officer he sees, "Why am I here?"

"For drinking," replies the officer.

"Great," says the man, "when do we start?"

πŸ‘︎ 46
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πŸ‘€︎ u/timeforclock
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you see the headline about the psychic midget who escaped from prison???

Small Medium at Large.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Cordur-Oy-Jones
πŸ“…︎ Dec 21 2020
🚨︎ report
I saw a midget climbing down the prison wall the other day

It was a little condescending

πŸ‘︎ 90
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/CharlieFoxtrot432
πŸ“…︎ Sep 19 2020
🚨︎ report
The man was finally about to escape prison when he realised he forgot something. He ran back and grabbed acne cream. Why?

He was breaking out.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/0lSherlockl0
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2020
🚨︎ report
I saw a dwarf climbing down a prison wall today...

I thought that was a little condescending

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Theguy617
πŸ“…︎ Sep 30 2020
🚨︎ report
I saw a dwarf climbing down a prison wall.

Thought to myself, β€œthat’s a little condescending”.

πŸ‘︎ 27
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πŸ‘€︎ u/giacal3
πŸ“…︎ Aug 09 2020
🚨︎ report
Going to prison..

Has it's pros and cons

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hotsprings1234
πŸ“…︎ Sep 19 2020
🚨︎ report
Today I saw a dwarf climbing down a prison wall.

I thought to myself, "That's a little condescending."

πŸ‘︎ 56
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/joeispunk
πŸ“…︎ Aug 09 2020
🚨︎ report
I just saw a dwarf climbing down the wall of a prison.

I thought to myself... β€œthat’s a little condescending”.

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CanioEire
πŸ“…︎ Aug 06 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a psychic dwarf that escaped from prison?

A small medium at large.

πŸ‘︎ 109
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πŸ‘€︎ u/That-Big-Man-J
πŸ“…︎ May 24 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you here about the dwarf climbing over the wall to escape prison?

He fell!

It was a little condescending.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Othon1
πŸ“…︎ Aug 28 2020
🚨︎ report
A dwarf clairvoyant just escaped prison

Police say there is a small medium at large

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ashh640
πŸ“…︎ Aug 18 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a three foot psychic that escaped prison ?

A small medium at large.

πŸ‘︎ 95
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jun 19 2020
🚨︎ report

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