Mother-in-law is in Prison. Need a good prison pun for Mothers Day Card.

So the hardest part is it has to be uplifting/cute like all the other mothers day cards, can't just be a simple jail/robber pun.

So far I got:

You're ex-cell-ent mom!

I'd break into a maximom security prison for you!

Hope your mothers day is on point! (with a diagram of a shank)

^((But they're kind of trash))

Ideas from others:

Most people have a mother-in-law but I get to have a mother-outlaw! u/tcbst15

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/vitamorior
πŸ“…︎ May 02 2019
🚨︎ report
Today I saw a dwarf climbing down a prison wall.

I thought to myself, β€œThat’s a little condescending.”

πŸ‘︎ 320
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/sierrasport
πŸ“…︎ Aug 05
🚨︎ report
Prison Humor
πŸ‘︎ 105
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/RogueDisciple
πŸ“…︎ Jul 31
🚨︎ report
A psychic dwarf broke out of prison the other day, what did the headlines say?

There’s small medium at large

πŸ‘︎ 60
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/50pciggy
πŸ“…︎ Aug 03
🚨︎ report
My brother, who stutters alot, went to prison...

Its a shame that he won’t finish his sentence

πŸ‘︎ 52
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Yaboibaka
πŸ“…︎ Aug 19
🚨︎ report
Today I saw a dwarf climbing down a prison wall.

I thought to myself, "That's a little condescending."

πŸ‘︎ 52
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/joeispunk
πŸ“…︎ Aug 09
🚨︎ report
i got a prison sentence

i don't remember what it said.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/wesamzxc
πŸ“…︎ Aug 21
🚨︎ report
After years of being in jail, Lance, a reporter was released from prison.

Now he's freelance

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Anthonybrose
πŸ“…︎ Aug 11
🚨︎ report
Why does working at a prison suck?

Because it's full of cons.

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ShiningConcepts
πŸ“…︎ Aug 06
🚨︎ report
A dwarf clairvoyant just escaped prison

Police say there is a small medium at large

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ashh640
πŸ“…︎ Aug 18
🚨︎ report
How did Hitler write Mien Kampf while in prison?

It was a struggle

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/sarcasticpremed
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22
🚨︎ report
What did one soap molecule say to the other soap molecule in prison?

"Get out. This is micelle"

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/_methematician
πŸ“…︎ Aug 14
🚨︎ report
What do you call a psychic dwarf who escaped from prison?

A small medium at large

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/The_Dets
πŸ“…︎ Aug 15
🚨︎ report
An alcoholic wakes up in prison

He asks the first police officer he sees, "Why am I here?"

"For drinking," replies the officer.

"Great," says the man, "when do we start?"

πŸ‘︎ 44
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/timeforclock
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28
🚨︎ report
What do you call a fortune telling dwarf who escapes from prison?

A small medium at large!

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jul 31
🚨︎ report
I called my wife from prison and there was no reception

But I had plenty of bars

πŸ‘︎ 28
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jul 25
🚨︎ report
A man called his twin brother from prison

β€œHey remember when we were kids and use to finish each other’s sentences?”

πŸ‘︎ 5k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/lazydoodlelol
πŸ“…︎ Mar 03
🚨︎ report
The other day I was driving by a prison and an unusually small person was scaling down the wall. I looked up at him confused as he sneered back at me.

And I thought to myself, well that’s a little condescending.

sorry it’s a repost of myself. My original post got removed for hate speech and harassment

πŸ‘︎ 21
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ZealousidealRise7
πŸ“…︎ Jul 17
🚨︎ report
What do you call a three foot psychic that escaped prison ?

A small medium at large.

πŸ‘︎ 93
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jun 19
🚨︎ report
What do you call Dr. Doofenshmirtz when he went to prison?

Doofenshmirtz Evil Incarcerated!

πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Guyshu
πŸ“…︎ Jul 15
🚨︎ report
I just found out that my friend with a stutter died in prison

He didn't finish his sentence

πŸ‘︎ 49
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/King_Sparky_
πŸ“…︎ Jul 04
🚨︎ report
What do you call a Psychic Dwarf that recently escapes from a federal prison?

A small medium at large!

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jul 18
🚨︎ report
I watched a dwarf escape from prison today. As he climbed down the fence, he smirked at me.

I thought to myself, "Hmmm, that's a little condescending."

πŸ‘︎ 88
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/kordesii2358
πŸ“…︎ May 06
🚨︎ report
I hear that white collar prison isn't bad...

It has its pros and its cons.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jul 09
🚨︎ report
I needed hot air balloon pilots for an event. I could either hire or use prison labor.

Dad told me I should weigh the pros and cons first.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/exaball
πŸ“…︎ Jul 16
🚨︎ report
Why was the art restorer sent to prison?

He was a Monet launderer.

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Ivegot_back
πŸ“…︎ Jul 03
🚨︎ report
What’s the difference between a jeweler and a prison guard?

one watches cells and one sells watches

πŸ‘︎ 154
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/maxian213
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03
🚨︎ report
A four-foot-tall fourtuneteller escaped from prison.

He was a small medium at large.

πŸ‘︎ 160
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mintyporkchop
πŸ“…︎ Apr 13
🚨︎ report
Just found out my cousin who had a stuttering problem died in prison

He didn't even finish his sentence

πŸ‘︎ 162
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/13010013
πŸ“…︎ Mar 22
🚨︎ report
Did you hear the one about the guy who escaped prison covered in wasps nests?

He broke out in hives.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/McStankee110
πŸ“…︎ Jun 08
🚨︎ report
I've spent 7 years in prison

I learned that humans and wifi connections are the same in prison. Sometimes they're free and sometimes they're locked up .

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Slymood
πŸ“…︎ Jun 10
🚨︎ report
I went to prison with a guy named Mitochondria

He was the powerhouse of the cell.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/KalegNar
πŸ“…︎ Jun 05
🚨︎ report
What do you call a midget psychic that's escaped from prison?

A small medium at large

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Rathabro
πŸ“…︎ May 17
🚨︎ report
The tampon thief got out of prison

He pulled some strings

πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Record_layer
πŸ“…︎ May 08
🚨︎ report
Why were the electrons from the volcanic eruption sent to prison?

They were charged under extraordinary circumstances

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/crazyjarvis
πŸ“…︎ May 20
🚨︎ report
What do you call a psychic gnome who escaped from prison?

A small medium at large.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Tevvi94
πŸ“…︎ May 04
🚨︎ report
What do you call a tiny phycic who has escaped from prison

A small medium at large

I'll see myself out

πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/roadmemorial
πŸ“…︎ Mar 12
🚨︎ report
What do you call a dwarven convict who can talk to spirits and escape prison?

A small medium at large.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Hufflestuff33
πŸ“…︎ Apr 04
🚨︎ report
I just heard R. Kelly wants to be released from prison because of the Covid-19 scare.

If it was Covid-15 he would be ok with it.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/xxtzimiscexx
πŸ“…︎ Mar 27
🚨︎ report
My twin brother called me from prison.

He said: "You know how we finish each other's sentences?"

πŸ‘︎ 1k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Ash_Cuda
πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2019
🚨︎ report
Do they use cell phones in prison?
πŸ‘︎ 56
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Hesso921
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15
🚨︎ report
How did that guy end up at the bottom of the well in prison?

He felon

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/CoastalCon
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18
🚨︎ report
I just found out that my cousin with a stuttering problem died in prison.

He didn’t even finish his sentence.

πŸ‘︎ 145
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Insayne-iwnl
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2019
🚨︎ report
I just got a new job at a prison library.

It has its prose and cons.

πŸ‘︎ 8k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/washcapsfan37
πŸ“…︎ Feb 21 2019
🚨︎ report
I was cruising one day and saw a midget scaling down the wall of a prison

I thought "That's a lil condescending"

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thatwondude83
πŸ“…︎ Feb 17
🚨︎ report
What do you say when a bank robber gets sent to the same prison as his inseparable twin sons?

Con joined twins

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/boogerknows
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13
🚨︎ report
What do you call a gnome with ESP that escapes from prison?

A small medium at large

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Spingebill678
πŸ“…︎ Feb 07
🚨︎ report
If you're taken to prison and serve a short sentence

It becomes a word

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/p_tally
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06
🚨︎ report
My twin brother called me from prison.

He said, β€œYou know that thing where we finish each other’s sentences?”.

πŸ‘︎ 201
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/coadnamedalex
πŸ“…︎ Sep 11 2019
🚨︎ report
"Arkham" is not only a prison. It's also what Noah made out of the pigs.
πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MinFootspace
πŸ“…︎ Dec 21 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the dwarf psychic who escaped from prison?

"SMALL MEDIUM AT LARGE"

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/AcidBathVampire
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21
🚨︎ report
Why was the picture sent to prison?

It was framed.

πŸ‘︎ 46
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call an Italian prison?

A Penne-tentury.

(did I do that right?)

πŸ‘︎ 36
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mi4l
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a short fortune teller that just broke out of prison?

A small medium at large.

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/NaNullman
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04
🚨︎ report
3 moles are digging their way out of prison.

The first mole says β€œI can smell the clean air and grass! We’re almost there!”

The second mole says β€œI can smell the fresh wet dirt! We’re almost there!”

The third mole says β€œReally? All I can smell is molasses.”

πŸ‘︎ 43
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/chloeruel
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2019
🚨︎ report
Mitochondria would be a great prison nickname.

They'd be the powerhouse of the cell.

πŸ‘︎ 10k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/lazztronica
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22 2018
🚨︎ report
What vegetable can be used as a weapon in prison?

Car-rot of Shivia

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25
🚨︎ report
What does one do in prisons?

FaceTime

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/cakecupbake
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2019
🚨︎ report
A guy with a stutter died in prison...

Before he could finish his sentence!

(Don't know if it's been done before, please don't hurt me)

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/A_Telephone
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2019
🚨︎ report
If I ever go to Prison, I'm gonna change my name to Mitochondria

I want everyone to know I'm the powerhouse of the cell.

πŸ‘︎ 178
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/spookydooky69
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a headcount of the prison population?

A consensus.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/haisoj02
πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2019
🚨︎ report
A psychic dwarf broke out of prison last night

Authorities are looking for a small medium at large.

πŸ‘︎ 148
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/LordJimsicle
πŸ“…︎ Jul 17 2019
🚨︎ report
My dad has a serious stutter and just went to prison

I don't think he'll ever finish his sentence

πŸ‘︎ 37
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Admiral__Unicorn
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2019
🚨︎ report
The pun is about the german prison or smtg
πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/brunoancic31
πŸ“…︎ Jul 02 2019
🚨︎ report
My twin brother called me from prison. He said β€œso you know how we always finish each other’s sentences”
πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/skol_vkings
πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2019
🚨︎ report
Why did the belt go to prison?

He held up a pair of pants!

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2019
🚨︎ report
I saw a dwarf climbing down a prison wall...

I thought β€œhmm, that’s a little condescending l”

πŸ‘︎ 87
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/yousuchafukinhoe
πŸ“…︎ Jul 02 2019
🚨︎ report
My mom just told me that my stuttering cousin died in prison

He couldn’t even finish his sentence

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/rossmannion189
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2019
🚨︎ report
Is it the position of the full stop or going to prison is better than marriage?
πŸ‘︎ 81
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/star72846
πŸ“…︎ Apr 17 2019
🚨︎ report
Why was the insomniac sent to prison?

He was resisting a rest

πŸ‘︎ 41
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2019
🚨︎ report
My state just erected a prison that turned out to be phony...

It was a hokey pokey.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Dec 04 2019
🚨︎ report
Why couldn't the warden decide whether to allow the prison football team play the professional football team?

The idea had its pros and cons.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2019
🚨︎ report
A woman was found guilty and the judge declared she will serve 10 years in prison or she can sleep with him. He got in trouble for

Ending a sentence with a proposition.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/justryingtokeepup
πŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2019
🚨︎ report
What do prison tennis matches and strawberry jam have in common?

Cons-serve

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/JimbobobaboBob
πŸ“…︎ Nov 04 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you hear the one about Epstein’s Prison Guard who died in a car crash?

It’s all over next weeks papers

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Irv-Elephant
πŸ“…︎ Aug 16 2019
🚨︎ report
Your Dad is in a prison and he's got a stutter. What problems is that going to cause?

He's never gonna finish his sentence

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/spookyboy96
πŸ“…︎ Sep 29 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a 5 foot psychic that escaped from prison?

A small medium at large.

πŸ‘︎ 257
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Feb 24 2019
🚨︎ report
A stammering guy murdered a person with a normal guy.. the normal guy was in prison for 10 years but the stammering guy was in prison for 20 years

Guess it takes stammering guys longer time to complete there sentences.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thesilentcomic
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2019
🚨︎ report
Driving by the prison the other day I saw a midget scaling down the outer wall.

And I thought that’s a little condescending.

πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/sk1wbw
πŸ“…︎ Aug 25 2019
🚨︎ report
A midget clairvoyant conman escaped prison.

The headline read: β€œSmall Medium at Large!”

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ZonieDrew
πŸ“…︎ Sep 02 2019
🚨︎ report
I failed my exam to become a prison guard...

I could have been a con tender too!

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Oct 12 2019
🚨︎ report
I saw a dwarf climbing down a prison wall.

Thought to myself, β€œthat’s a little condescending”.

πŸ‘︎ 28
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/giacal3
πŸ“…︎ Aug 09
🚨︎ report
I just saw a dwarf climbing down the wall of a prison.

I thought to myself... β€œthat’s a little condescending”.

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/CanioEire
πŸ“…︎ Aug 06
🚨︎ report
What do you call a psychic dwarf that escaped from prison?

A small medium at large.

πŸ‘︎ 111
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/That-Big-Man-J
πŸ“…︎ May 24
🚨︎ report
Today I saw a dwarf climbing down a prison wall...

...I thought to myself, that’s a little condescending.

πŸ‘︎ 3k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/coadnamedalex
πŸ“…︎ Sep 13 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a psychic dwarf who escaped prison?

A small medium at large

πŸ‘︎ 34
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/awburrou
πŸ“…︎ Mar 05
🚨︎ report
What do you call a psychic dwarf who escaped from prison?

A small medium at large

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/The_Dets
πŸ“…︎ Dec 04 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a psychic midget who has escaped from prison?

A small medium at large.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Drunky_Bunky
πŸ“…︎ Nov 08 2019
🚨︎ report
Why did the belt go to prison?

He held up a pair of pants!

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2019
🚨︎ report
Why was the picture sent to prison?

It was framed.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2019
🚨︎ report
Why was the picture sent to prison?

It was framed.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2019
🚨︎ report
My twin brother called me from prison

He said, "So you know how we finish each other's sentences?"

πŸ‘︎ 45
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thatrandomfly
πŸ“…︎ Sep 10 2019
🚨︎ report
Why did the belt go to prison?

He held up a pair of pants!

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2019
🚨︎ report

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