Prisoner: "I'm sorry I tried to escape. "
Guard: "I'm not mad. Just very disappointed. "
REMEMBER KIDS....NEVER LET YOUR GUARD DOWN.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Jan 21 2021
Texas Prisoner Found Dead After Consuming Smuggled Fish Eggs
π︎ 14
π
︎ Dec 15 2020
4 prisoners are telling each other what they were convicted for
The First man says: I committed 2nd degree murder
The Second says: I committed: 1st degree assault
The Third says: I committed 1st degree possession of drugs
The Fourth man simply says: Arson
The Second man asks him: What degree was it?
The Fourth man responds: I'm not sure, it was pretty hot though. About 525 Celsius-ish
π︎ 22
π
︎ Nov 29 2020
Farts are like prisoners
When you notice one you wonder βwho let this one outβ
π︎ 9
π
︎ Nov 09 2020
What do prisoners use to call each other?
π︎ 2
π
︎ Nov 17 2020
Why are female prisoners kept in separate prisons?
Because most prisoners are in cells.
π︎ 6
π
︎ Sep 22 2020
Prisoner - I am sorry. I tried to escape
Guard - I am not mad. I am just.....disappointed.
Moral - DONT LET YIUR GUARD DOWN
π︎ 10
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︎ Oct 18 2020
A prisoner joined a convent and wanted to be a part of their marching band. What instrument did she decide to play?
π︎ 2
π
︎ Sep 28 2020
Technically, prisoners are all incels.
π︎ 10
π
︎ May 06 2020
Where do prisoners when they get a light sentence?
π︎ 11
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︎ May 25 2020
Prisoner tunnels out of jail and emerges in a school playground shouting βIβm freeβ!
Little girl walks up and shouts βIβm four!β
π︎ 5
π
︎ Jun 28 2020
What do you call a prisoner falling down stairs?
Condescending, condescending.
π︎ 6
π
︎ Jun 19 2020
How do guards decide who the best prisoner is?
π︎ 4
π
︎ Jun 24 2020
Two prisoners are working in the laundry room on the top floor of the jail.
After a couple hours, the guard on duty steps away to use the bathroom.
The one prisoner says: "Quick, this is our chance to escape. We only have a few minutes so have to work together. You rip bedsheets into strips and I'll tie them into a rope, then we can climb down through the window.
The other agrees, "Got it. I sheet, you knot."
π︎ 4
π
︎ May 30 2020
Here about the prisoner who makes good cocktails? He's behind bars now!
π︎ 13
π
︎ Dec 22 2019
How often to female prisoners get their period?
Only at the end of their sentence.
π︎ 6
π
︎ Mar 02 2020
Today I actually saw a dwarf prisoner climbing down a wall
I thought to myself, βnow thatβs a little condescendingβ
π︎ 366
π
︎ Jul 01 2019
Who would win in a fight. Athletes or Prisoners?
It's hard to say, they have their pros and their cons.
π︎ 45
π
︎ Feb 06 2020
Which school does China send its prisoners?
π︎ 4
π
︎ Mar 22 2020
What happened when the prisoner hit his head?
π︎ 3
π
︎ Feb 10 2020
If prisoners could take their own mugshots....
They would be called cellfies.
π︎ 130
π
︎ Aug 17 2019
What was it like being surrounded by all those guards and prisoners?
Well there were pros and cons.
π︎ 6
π
︎ Dec 27 2019
Whenever I see a girl I like with another man I feel prisoner to my emotions and spend a night in jailousy
π︎ 2
π
︎ Sep 23 2019
What do you call the vitamins they make prisoners take?
π︎ 2
π
︎ Jan 01 2020
An escaped prisoner was caught camping out in the woods ....
.... it was a clear case of criminal in tent.
π︎ 169
π
︎ Jan 16 2019
Whatβs an Australian prisoner called?
π︎ 4
π
︎ Aug 26 2019
A prisoner's favorite punctuation mark is the period.
It marks the end of his sentence
π︎ 325
π
︎ Jun 06 2018
I hear prisoners in jail get drunk a lot
They hang around bars 24/7.
π︎ 2k
π
︎ May 30 2017
If prisoners could take their own mugshots what would they be called?
π︎ 107
π
︎ Dec 08 2018
"Just take the prisoners below." the warden condescended.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Sep 27 2019
I saw a smug prisoner walking down the staircase...
I thought: "that's a condescending con descending"
π︎ 2
π
︎ Aug 17 2019
Prisoner Escaped
Guard: Inmate #2276 escaped sir!
Warden: WHAT! How long ago?
Guard: There was a random search last night at 8:30, so figure he's been on the lamb for about 8 hours.
Warden: Oh thank God, what a relief.
Guard: How so sir? That's a hell of a long time to be missing.
Warden: Yes, but imagine how far he'd be if he was on the horse.
π︎ 25
π
︎ Apr 17 2019
Did you know prisoners have to get in line to eat nowadays?
Those are the con-sequences of a life of crime!
π︎ 2
π
︎ Sep 24 2019
Why do all prisoners hate women?
Because they are all in cell's
π︎ 7
π
︎ Mar 18 2019
Two prisoners were escaping down a ladder...
Two prisoners were escaping down a ladder. While the seasoned prisoner at the top watched for guards, the new prisoner went down the ladder first and slowly. Once the ladder was clear, the seasoned prisoner slid down in just three seconds, then he scolded the new prisoner for being so slow. The new prisoner replied, "Well, look at mister con descending here."
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π
︎ Sep 01 2017
What did the death row prisoner request as his final meal?
π︎ 36
π
︎ Jan 13 2019
Prisoner: "I am sorry, I tried to escape."
Guard: "I'm not mad, just disappointed."
(Remember kids, never let your guard down)
π︎ 27
π
︎ Nov 30 2020
What do you call a smart-ass prisoner falling down the stairs ?
A condescending con descending.
π︎ 73
π
︎ Apr 20 2020
What do prisoners use to call each other?
π︎ 35
π
︎ Nov 06 2019
Today, I saw a midget prisoner climbing down a wall.
As he turned and sneered at me, I thought, "that's a little condescending."
π︎ 114
π
︎ Apr 11 2019
Today I saw dwarf prisoner climbing down a wall.
I thought to myself "Now, that's a little condescending".
π︎ 625
π
︎ Nov 16 2018
What do prisoners use to call each other?
π︎ 9
π
︎ Nov 08 2019
When they use prisoners to operate call centres.....
..do they use cell phones?
π︎ 5
π
︎ Aug 17 2019
What do prisoners use to call each other?
π︎ 2
π
︎ Nov 01 2019
What do prisoners use to call each other?
π︎ 49
π
︎ Jul 24 2019
What do prisoners use to call each other?
π︎ 17
π
︎ Aug 27 2019
Whenever I see a girl I like with another man I feel prisoner to my emotions
I spend a night in Jailousy
π︎ 3
π
︎ Sep 23 2019
What is a prisoners favorite punctuation?
A period.
Why?
Because it marks the end of a sentence.
π︎ 6
π
︎ Aug 15 2019
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