Prisoner: "I'm sorry I tried to escape. "

Guard: "I'm not mad. Just very disappointed. "

REMEMBER KIDS....NEVER LET YOUR GUARD DOWN.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21 2021
🚨︎ report
Texas Prisoner Found Dead After Consuming Smuggled Fish Eggs

He died on Death Roe.

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/CalmingVisionary
πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2020
🚨︎ report
4 prisoners are telling each other what they were convicted for

The First man says: I committed 2nd degree murder

The Second says: I committed: 1st degree assault

The Third says: I committed 1st degree possession of drugs

The Fourth man simply says: Arson

The Second man asks him: What degree was it?

The Fourth man responds: I'm not sure, it was pretty hot though. About 525 Celsius-ish

πŸ‘︎ 22
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/InsectNation1
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2020
🚨︎ report
Farts are like prisoners

When you notice one you wonder β€œwho let this one out”

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/momspaghetti313
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2020
🚨︎ report
What do prisoners use to call each other?

Cell phones.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/lshqpyari
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2020
🚨︎ report
Why are female prisoners kept in separate prisons?

Because most prisoners are in cells.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Masked_Death
πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2020
🚨︎ report
Prisoner - I am sorry. I tried to escape

Guard - I am not mad. I am just.....disappointed.

Moral - DONT LET YIUR GUARD DOWN

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/viky_boy
πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2020
🚨︎ report
A prisoner joined a convent and wanted to be a part of their marching band. What instrument did she decide to play?

It's a conundrum!

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/xwhy
πŸ“…︎ Sep 28 2020
🚨︎ report
Technically, prisoners are all incels.
πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/nfira
πŸ“…︎ May 06 2020
🚨︎ report
Where do prisoners when they get a light sentence?

Prism.

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mistermajik2000
πŸ“…︎ May 25 2020
🚨︎ report
Prisoner tunnels out of jail and emerges in a school playground shouting β€œI’m free”!

Little girl walks up and shouts β€œI’m four!”

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/bigpapastu
πŸ“…︎ Jun 28 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a prisoner falling down stairs?

Condescending, condescending.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/a-sesquipedalian-
πŸ“…︎ Jun 19 2020
🚨︎ report
How do guards decide who the best prisoner is?

They hold a con-test.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/morsodo99
πŸ“…︎ Jun 24 2020
🚨︎ report
Two prisoners are working in the laundry room on the top floor of the jail.

After a couple hours, the guard on duty steps away to use the bathroom.

The one prisoner says: "Quick, this is our chance to escape. We only have a few minutes so have to work together. You rip bedsheets into strips and I'll tie them into a rope, then we can climb down through the window.

The other agrees, "Got it. I sheet, you knot."

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/KW-DadJoker
πŸ“…︎ May 30 2020
🚨︎ report
Here about the prisoner who makes good cocktails? He's behind bars now!
πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Wrong-Flamingo
πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2019
🚨︎ report
How often to female prisoners get their period?

Only at the end of their sentence.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mr_wilson3
πŸ“…︎ Mar 02 2020
🚨︎ report
Today I actually saw a dwarf prisoner climbing down a wall

I thought to myself, β€œnow that’s a little condescending”

πŸ‘︎ 366
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/camilodmoreno
πŸ“…︎ Jul 01 2019
🚨︎ report
Who would win in a fight. Athletes or Prisoners?

It's hard to say, they have their pros and their cons.

πŸ‘︎ 45
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Anthonybrose
πŸ“…︎ Feb 06 2020
🚨︎ report
Which school does China send its prisoners?

kidney garden

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/warpedddd
πŸ“…︎ Mar 22 2020
🚨︎ report
What happened when the prisoner hit his head?

Con cussed.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/bigmanbabyboy
πŸ“…︎ Feb 10 2020
🚨︎ report
If prisoners could take their own mugshots....

They would be called cellfies.

πŸ‘︎ 130
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/joe_dsr
πŸ“…︎ Aug 17 2019
🚨︎ report
What was it like being surrounded by all those guards and prisoners?

Well there were pros and cons.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/alienacean
πŸ“…︎ Dec 27 2019
🚨︎ report
Whenever I see a girl I like with another man I feel prisoner to my emotions and spend a night in jailousy
πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ItBeLikeThatm8
πŸ“…︎ Sep 23 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call the vitamins they make prisoners take?

Mandatory minerals

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TacoPi
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2020
🚨︎ report
An escaped prisoner was caught camping out in the woods ....

.... it was a clear case of criminal in tent.

πŸ‘︎ 169
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MrNakamura
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16 2019
🚨︎ report
What’s an Australian prisoner called?

An inmate!

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/validemaillol
πŸ“…︎ Aug 26 2019
🚨︎ report
A prisoner's favorite punctuation mark is the period.

It marks the end of his sentence

πŸ‘︎ 325
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/geomads
πŸ“…︎ Jun 06 2018
🚨︎ report
I hear prisoners in jail get drunk a lot

They hang around bars 24/7.

πŸ‘︎ 2k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Calthropstu
πŸ“…︎ May 30 2017
🚨︎ report
If prisoners could take their own mugshots what would they be called?

CELLphies

Ok, Im leaving

πŸ‘︎ 107
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/alphamannen
πŸ“…︎ Dec 08 2018
🚨︎ report
"Just take the prisoners below." the warden condescended.
πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/timoth3y
πŸ“…︎ Sep 27 2019
🚨︎ report
I saw a smug prisoner walking down the staircase...

I thought: "that's a condescending con descending"

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/judethedude781
πŸ“…︎ Aug 17 2019
🚨︎ report
Prisoner Escaped

Guard: Inmate #2276 escaped sir!

Warden: WHAT! How long ago?

Guard: There was a random search last night at 8:30, so figure he's been on the lamb for about 8 hours.

Warden: Oh thank God, what a relief.

Guard: How so sir? That's a hell of a long time to be missing.

Warden: Yes, but imagine how far he'd be if he was on the horse.

πŸ‘︎ 25
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Billy_Bayou
πŸ“…︎ Apr 17 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you know prisoners have to get in line to eat nowadays?

Those are the con-sequences of a life of crime!

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Sep 24 2019
🚨︎ report
Why do all prisoners hate women?

Because they are all in cell's

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/theDolphinator25
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18 2019
🚨︎ report
Two prisoners were escaping down a ladder...

Two prisoners were escaping down a ladder. While the seasoned prisoner at the top watched for guards, the new prisoner went down the ladder first and slowly. Once the ladder was clear, the seasoned prisoner slid down in just three seconds, then he scolded the new prisoner for being so slow. The new prisoner replied, "Well, look at mister con descending here."

πŸ‘︎ 188
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/43-48-45-45-53-45
πŸ“…︎ Sep 01 2017
🚨︎ report
What did the death row prisoner request as his final meal?

Lifesavers

πŸ‘︎ 36
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/bdub_7
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2019
🚨︎ report
Prisoner: "I am sorry, I tried to escape."

Guard: "I'm not mad, just disappointed."

(Remember kids, never let your guard down)

πŸ‘︎ 27
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a smart-ass prisoner falling down the stairs ?

A condescending con descending.

πŸ‘︎ 73
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/joe4645
πŸ“…︎ Apr 20 2020
🚨︎ report
What do prisoners use to call each other?

Cell phones.

πŸ‘︎ 35
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2019
🚨︎ report
Today, I saw a midget prisoner climbing down a wall.

As he turned and sneered at me, I thought, "that's a little condescending."

πŸ‘︎ 114
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ Apr 11 2019
🚨︎ report
Today I saw dwarf prisoner climbing down a wall.

I thought to myself "Now, that's a little condescending".

πŸ‘︎ 625
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jadelancer8
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2018
🚨︎ report
What do prisoners use to call each other?

Cell phones.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 08 2019
🚨︎ report
When they use prisoners to operate call centres.....

..do they use cell phones?

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Blarty97
πŸ“…︎ Aug 17 2019
🚨︎ report
What do prisoners use to call each other?

Cell phones.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2019
🚨︎ report
What do prisoners use to call each other?

Cell phones

πŸ‘︎ 49
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/smitikshah
πŸ“…︎ Jul 24 2019
🚨︎ report
What do prisoners use to call each other?

Cell phones.

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/uglyric
πŸ“…︎ Aug 27 2019
🚨︎ report
Whenever I see a girl I like with another man I feel prisoner to my emotions

I spend a night in Jailousy

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ItBeLikeThatm8
πŸ“…︎ Sep 23 2019
🚨︎ report
What is a prisoners favorite punctuation?

A period.

Why?

Because it marks the end of a sentence.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TrojoGaming
πŸ“…︎ Aug 15 2019
🚨︎ report

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