We shouldn't be surprised by the number of wrongful convictions.
After all, it's just trial and error.
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︎ Oct 20 2017
Did you hear that they're trying to convict an orange?
It got wrapped up in appeal.
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︎ Jan 26 2021
my wife and I found out that our boy was convicted of burning down houses
no matter what he's still arson
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︎ Nov 03 2020
The convict was charged with first degree murder
Iβm not sure why, but there must be a reason behind it.
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︎ Feb 19 2021
Have you heard about the illiterate convict?
He never finished his sentence.
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︎ Feb 14 2021
Women convicts aren't released before they menstruate
This way, there's a period at the end of the sentence.
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︎ Feb 17 2021
My friend Robert is a lawyer who specializes in helping convicted people by getting their records erased permanently. Everyone calls him...
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︎ Dec 23 2020
Did you hear about the thief who was re-arrested in the courtroom?
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︎ May 17 2021
4 prisoners are telling each other what they were convicted for
The First man says: I committed 2nd degree murder
The Second says: I committed: 1st degree assault
The Third says: I committed 1st degree possession of drugs
The Fourth man simply says: Arson
The Second man asks him: What degree was it?
The Fourth man responds: I'm not sure, it was pretty hot though. About 525 Celsius-ish
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︎ Nov 29 2020
I wrote a book about how convicted felons can use fiction writing to work through their experiences and achieve better rehabilitation outcomes.
It's called, "Prose and Cons".
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︎ Dec 01 2020
I was convicted for stealing a calendar.
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︎ Dec 07 2020
Does Boy George have a criminal record?
No, he's a man without convictions.
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︎ May 17 2021
Where did they send the physicist who was convicted of terrorism?
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︎ Nov 29 2020
What do you call a dwarf convict with a debilitating skin disease?
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︎ May 29 2020
For the convict on death row waiting to hear back from the governor...
...no noose is good news.
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︎ May 21 2020
Dr Seuss was recently convicted for shoving a man on to a mountain of corn, and stomping him to death, then shooting him twice, all while wearing womenβs clothes.
sadly this is the 3rd case this week of a pop pop crop-top crop top pop hop
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︎ Feb 23 2020
What do you call a dwarven convict who can talk to spirits and escape prison?
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︎ Apr 04 2020
A policeman accidentally arrested a judge who had dressed as a convict for a costume party. That cop learned never to book a judge by his cover.
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︎ Nov 08 2019
I was convicted of feloniously inept dancing, and the probation officer said I was a high risk for recidivism.
But then I did the hokey-pokey, and I turned myself around.
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︎ Mar 23 2020
I didn't think the police would convict me for robbery until I saw the briefcase full of the money
In that case, they had evidence.
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︎ Dec 19 2019
Convict: I plead not guilty Judge: What is your defense
Convict: Well if u r what you eat, I'm an innocent man.
(Credit to my man Bryce)
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︎ Dec 11 2019
A farmerβs convict son was supposed to be helping him with the chores. When he looked behind the barn, his son was asleep on the hay.
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︎ Nov 29 2019
What's a pirates least favourite letter?
Dear Sir,
this is the federal prosecutor's office, informing you that you've been convicted and charged on seven counts of piracy.
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︎ Dec 09 2020
What do you call a convicted violet offender?
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︎ Dec 01 2019
Today I saw a an escaped convict dwarf climbing down a wall...
I have to tell you, it was a little condescending.
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︎ Sep 17 2019
Saw an escaped convict today who had gone bald.
guess it really was a close shave.
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︎ Sep 25 2019
Did you hear about the math teacher who was wrongly convicted?
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︎ Jan 20 2019
What do you call a Fish convicted of Murder? GILL-ty
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︎ Sep 10 2017
Why does Waldo always wear stripes?
Because he doesnβt want to be spotted
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︎ Aug 25 2020
Why don't torrenters ever get convicted?
Because they're generous seeders, and they have to be tried by a jury of their peers.
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︎ Jan 08 2019
So, a sidewalk was convicted of murder the other day.
The prosecutor was sure that he had concrete evidence of the crime.
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︎ Jun 25 2019
Did you hear about the tree surgeon who was found to be hiding escaped convicts up trees in his garden?
He was charged with arboring criminals
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︎ Jul 21 2019
Did you hear about the escaped convict with a speech impediment?
He couldnβt finish his sentence.
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︎ Jan 05 2019
A convict escapes from prison wearing paper towel shorts.
Heβs now got a bounty on his head and his ass.
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︎ Jun 05 2019
Why was the train sent to the insane asylum after being convicted of first degree murder?
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︎ Oct 09 2018
People are injecting racehorses with steroids, but the cops are finding it difficult to convict them.
Itβs like finding a needle in a haystack.
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︎ Dec 08 2018
If a child refuses to sleep during nap time...
are they guilty of resisting a rest?
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︎ Apr 21 2020
I watched a stand-up routine by a convicted murderer.
The jokes were dead-on, really a killer performance.
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︎ Feb 10 2019
Did you hear about the English teacher that was rightfully convicted?
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︎ Mar 01 2019
News Reporter: We've been looking for an escaped convict with one eye...
If we don't find him, we'll use two eyes
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︎ Feb 26 2019
Why would a person in a painting be convicted for a crime that he didn't commit?
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︎ Nov 03 2018
When I was helping my dad rewire part of the house he told me that he could tell that a convict had done the old electrical work.
When I asked why he showed me a bundle of wires and said, "It's all confused."
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︎ Apr 07 2018
Did you hear about the car rental business that was just convicted of a crime?
It was a criminal Enterprise
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︎ Sep 28 2018
What do you call a convicted felon who just jumped from an airplane?
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︎ Jun 17 2018
Did you hear the joke about the convicted criminal ?
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︎ Aug 25 2018
Did you hear about the math teacher that was wrongfully convicted?
It just didnβt add up...
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︎ Mar 01 2019
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