We shouldn't be surprised by the number of wrongful convictions.

After all, it's just trial and error.

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πŸ“…︎ Oct 20 2017
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Did you hear that they're trying to convict an orange?

It got wrapped up in appeal.

πŸ‘︎ 36
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πŸ‘€︎ u/OracleOfWherever
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26 2021
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my wife and I found out that our boy was convicted of burning down houses

no matter what he's still arson

πŸ‘︎ 348
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ax3-_-
πŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2020
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The convict was charged with first degree murder

I’m not sure why, but there must be a reason behind it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RosselWestbrook
πŸ“…︎ Feb 19 2021
🚨︎ report
Have you heard about the illiterate convict?

He never finished his sentence.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MediocreGinga
πŸ“…︎ Feb 14 2021
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Women convicts aren't released before they menstruate

This way, there's a period at the end of the sentence.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ChangeNew389
πŸ“…︎ Feb 17 2021
🚨︎ report
My friend Robert is a lawyer who specializes in helping convicted people by getting their records erased permanently. Everyone calls him...

Expunge Bob

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GeoffInNC
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the thief who was re-arrested in the courtroom?

He took the stand.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cabemon
πŸ“…︎ May 17 2021
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4 prisoners are telling each other what they were convicted for

The First man says: I committed 2nd degree murder

The Second says: I committed: 1st degree assault

The Third says: I committed 1st degree possession of drugs

The Fourth man simply says: Arson

The Second man asks him: What degree was it?

The Fourth man responds: I'm not sure, it was pretty hot though. About 525 Celsius-ish

πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ‘€︎ u/InsectNation1
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2020
🚨︎ report
I wrote a book about how convicted felons can use fiction writing to work through their experiences and achieve better rehabilitation outcomes.

It's called, "Prose and Cons".

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/arrenlex
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2020
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I was convicted for stealing a calendar.

I was given 12 months.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BrainSpy
πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2020
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Does Boy George have a criminal record?

No, he's a man without convictions.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Gogo726
πŸ“…︎ May 17 2021
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Where did they send the physicist who was convicted of terrorism?

Quantumamo Bay.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/keel_zuckerberg
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a dwarf convict with a debilitating skin disease?

A lepercon

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ May 29 2020
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For the convict on death row waiting to hear back from the governor...

...no noose is good news.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KW-DadJoker
πŸ“…︎ May 21 2020
🚨︎ report
Dr Seuss was recently convicted for shoving a man on to a mountain of corn, and stomping him to death, then shooting him twice, all while wearing women’s clothes.

sadly this is the 3rd case this week of a pop pop crop-top crop top pop hop

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ“…︎ Feb 23 2020
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What do you call a dwarven convict who can talk to spirits and escape prison?

A small medium at large.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hufflestuff33
πŸ“…︎ Apr 04 2020
🚨︎ report
A policeman accidentally arrested a judge who had dressed as a convict for a costume party. That cop learned never to book a judge by his cover.
πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/redwitch-fr
πŸ“…︎ Nov 08 2019
🚨︎ report
I was convicted of feloniously inept dancing, and the probation officer said I was a high risk for recidivism.

But then I did the hokey-pokey, and I turned myself around.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/M4sterofD1saster
πŸ“…︎ Mar 23 2020
🚨︎ report
I didn't think the police would convict me for robbery until I saw the briefcase full of the money

In that case, they had evidence.

πŸ‘︎ 36
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πŸ‘€︎ u/zsm1994
πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2019
🚨︎ report
Convict: I plead not guilty Judge: What is your defense

Convict: Well if u r what you eat, I'm an innocent man.

(Credit to my man Bryce)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tricky_Nick007
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2019
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A farmer’s convict son was supposed to be helping him with the chores. When he looked behind the barn, his son was asleep on the hay.

He was out on bale.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/boogerknows
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2019
🚨︎ report
What's a pirates least favourite letter?

Dear Sir,

this is the federal prosecutor's office, informing you that you've been convicted and charged on seven counts of piracy.

πŸ‘︎ 80
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RussiaIsMyCity
πŸ“…︎ Dec 09 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a convicted violet offender?

A perp hole.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bjornulf17
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2019
🚨︎ report
Today I saw a an escaped convict dwarf climbing down a wall...

I have to tell you, it was a little condescending.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jesslees24
πŸ“…︎ Sep 17 2019
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Saw an escaped convict today who had gone bald.

guess it really was a close shave.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LANDWEGGETJE
πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the math teacher who was wrongly convicted?

It just didn’t add up.

πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Glaserbeam
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a Fish convicted of Murder? GILL-ty
πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JemCrew
πŸ“…︎ Sep 10 2017
🚨︎ report
Why does Waldo always wear stripes?

Because he doesn’t want to be spotted

πŸ‘︎ 26
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πŸ‘€︎ u/seatheous
πŸ“…︎ Aug 25 2020
🚨︎ report
Why don't torrenters ever get convicted?

Because they're generous seeders, and they have to be tried by a jury of their peers.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/IncompotentCyborg
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08 2019
🚨︎ report
So, a sidewalk was convicted of murder the other day.

The prosecutor was sure that he had concrete evidence of the crime.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/QuippGamer
πŸ“…︎ Jun 25 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the tree surgeon who was found to be hiding escaped convicts up trees in his garden?

He was charged with arboring criminals

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hairyfacedhooman
πŸ“…︎ Jul 21 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the escaped convict with a speech impediment?

He couldn’t finish his sentence.

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Frnklfrwsr
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05 2019
🚨︎ report
A convict escapes from prison wearing paper towel shorts.

He’s now got a bounty on his head and his ass.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Defend2112
πŸ“…︎ Jun 05 2019
🚨︎ report
Why was the train sent to the insane asylum after being convicted of first degree murder?

He had a LOCO MOTIVE

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DDevil37
πŸ“…︎ Oct 09 2018
🚨︎ report
People are injecting racehorses with steroids, but the cops are finding it difficult to convict them.

It’s like finding a needle in a haystack.

πŸ‘︎ 48
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 08 2018
🚨︎ report
If a child refuses to sleep during nap time...

are they guilty of resisting a rest?

πŸ‘︎ 312
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πŸ‘€︎ u/EnUddaGamer
πŸ“…︎ Apr 21 2020
🚨︎ report
I watched a stand-up routine by a convicted murderer.

The jokes were dead-on, really a killer performance.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mkaic
πŸ“…︎ Feb 10 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the English teacher that was rightfully convicted?

He got the full sentence

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Glaserbeam
πŸ“…︎ Mar 01 2019
🚨︎ report
News Reporter: We've been looking for an escaped convict with one eye...

If we don't find him, we'll use two eyes

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Spicy-Jimbo
πŸ“…︎ Feb 26 2019
🚨︎ report
Why would a person in a painting be convicted for a crime that he didn't commit?

Because he was framed.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FurriesRGay14
πŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2018
🚨︎ report
When I was helping my dad rewire part of the house he told me that he could tell that a convict had done the old electrical work.

When I asked why he showed me a bundle of wires and said, "It's all confused."

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JediOfTheShire
πŸ“…︎ Apr 07 2018
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the car rental business that was just convicted of a crime?

It was a criminal Enterprise

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MisterThog
πŸ“…︎ Sep 28 2018
🚨︎ report
What do you call a convicted felon who just jumped from an airplane?

Condescending

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PapaSprocket
πŸ“…︎ Jun 17 2018
🚨︎ report
Did you hear the joke about the convicted criminal ?

It's a killer.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Arklaw
πŸ“…︎ Aug 25 2018
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the math teacher that was wrongfully convicted?

It just didn’t add up...

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Glaserbeam
πŸ“…︎ Mar 01 2019
🚨︎ report

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