We shouldn't be surprised by the number of wrongful convictions.
After all, it's just trial and error.
my wife and I found out that our boy was convicted of burning down houses
no matter what he's still arson
Did you hear that they're trying to convict an orange?
It got wrapped up in appeal.
Have you heard about the illiterate convict?
He never finished his sentence.
Women convicts aren't released before they menstruate
This way, there's a period at the end of the sentence.
My friend Robert is a lawyer who specializes in helping convicted people by getting their records erased permanently. Everyone calls him...
Did you hear about the thief who was re-arrested in the courtroom?
4 prisoners are telling each other what they were convicted for
The First man says: I committed 2nd degree murder
The Second says: I committed: 1st degree assault
The Third says: I committed 1st degree possession of drugs
The Fourth man simply says: Arson
The Second man asks him: What degree was it?
The Fourth man responds: I'm not sure, it was pretty hot though. About 525 Celsius-ish
I wrote a book about how convicted felons can use fiction writing to work through their experiences and achieve better rehabilitation outcomes.
It's called, "Prose and Cons".
I was convicted for stealing a calendar.
Does Boy George have a criminal record?
No, he's a man without convictions.
Where did they send the physicist who was convicted of terrorism?
I sang karaoke the other day.
I started with Danger Zone, followed by I'm All Right, Return to Pooh Corner, and Conviction of the Heart. Finally after finishing Danny's Song, they kicked me off the stage for too many failed Loggins attempts.
What do you call a dwarf convict with a debilitating skin disease?
For the convict on death row waiting to hear back from the governor...
...no noose is good news.
Dr Seuss was recently convicted for shoving a man on to a mountain of corn, and stomping him to death, then shooting him twice, all while wearing women’s clothes.
sadly this is the 3rd case this week of a pop pop crop-top crop top pop hop
What do you call a dwarven convict who can talk to spirits and escape prison?
A policeman accidentally arrested a judge who had dressed as a convict for a costume party. That cop learned never to book a judge by his cover.
I was convicted of feloniously inept dancing, and the probation officer said I was a high risk for recidivism.
But then I did the hokey-pokey, and I turned myself around.
I didn't think the police would convict me for robbery until I saw the briefcase full of the money
In that case, they had evidence.
Convict: I plead not guilty Judge: What is your defense
Convict: Well if u r what you eat, I'm an innocent man.
(Credit to my man Bryce)
A farmer’s convict son was supposed to be helping him with the chores. When he looked behind the barn, his son was asleep on the hay.
What's a pirates least favourite letter?
Dear Sir,
this is the federal prosecutor's office, informing you that you've been convicted and charged on seven counts of piracy.
What do you call a convicted violet offender?
Saw an escaped convict today who had gone bald.
guess it really was a close shave.
Today I saw a an escaped convict dwarf climbing down a wall...
I have to tell you, it was a little condescending.
Did you hear about the math teacher who was wrongly convicted?
What do you call a Fish convicted of Murder? GILL-ty
Why don't torrenters ever get convicted?
Because they're generous seeders, and they have to be tried by a jury of their peers.
Did you hear about the tree surgeon who was found to be hiding escaped convicts up trees in his garden?
He was charged with arboring criminals
So, a sidewalk was convicted of murder the other day.
The prosecutor was sure that he had concrete evidence of the crime.
Why does Waldo always wear stripes?
Because he doesn’t want to be spotted
A convict escapes from prison wearing paper towel shorts.
He’s now got a bounty on his head and his ass.
Did you hear about the escaped convict with a speech impediment?
He couldn’t finish his sentence.
Why was the train sent to the insane asylum after being convicted of first degree murder?
People are injecting racehorses with steroids, but the cops are finding it difficult to convict them.
It’s like finding a needle in a haystack.
If a child refuses to sleep during nap time...
are they guilty of resisting a rest?
I watched a stand-up routine by a convicted murderer.
The jokes were dead-on, really a killer performance.
Did you hear about the English teacher that was rightfully convicted?
News Reporter: We've been looking for an escaped convict with one eye...
If we don't find him, we'll use two eyes
Why would a person in a painting be convicted for a crime that he didn't commit?
When I was helping my dad rewire part of the house he told me that he could tell that a convict had done the old electrical work.
When I asked why he showed me a bundle of wires and said, "It's all confused."
Did you hear about the car rental business that was just convicted of a crime?
It was a criminal Enterprise
What do you call a convicted felon who just jumped from an airplane?
Do you know why I call escaped convicts Refrigerators?
Because they’re always running!
Did you hear about the math teacher that was wrongfully convicted?
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