What is the sentencing when you get caught hunting illegally?
Murder in the first deergree
Judge: I hereby find you guilty for all crimes you have been charged with. For sentencing I order you to spend life behind bars without possibility of parole
Criminal: That's a long sentence, I demand a shorter one.
Judge: U did it. Go 2 jail forever.
The judge had no problem sentencing the man who killed his wife on her way to yoga class, for 1st degree murder...
...stating it was pre-meditative.
Rumor has it that I’ve been sentenced to the gallows.
Please collect me if I’m wrung.
My wife ran over someone , and was sentenced to 10 years imprisonment.
She got out after 5 years and I had to serve the remaining 5.
We always finish each others sentences.
Teacher: "Use the word sugar in a sentence."
Student: "The tea is too sweet."
Teacher: "Where is sugar in the sentence?"
Student: "In the tea!!"
Dad, I need help writing a sentence using the word "irony."
Try this :
I licked a golf club and it tasted irony.
He was sentenced to drinking spruce tea or leaving for 6 months because he was teaching the youth how to be passive-aggressive. His disciple Playdoh wrote half a screenplay about him before giving up and finding a real job.
Authorities are searching for a four-foot tall woman who recently escaped from prison in upstate New York. She was serving a five year sentence for fraud after convincing a number of victims that she was a powerful psychic.
Now she's a small medium at large.
Teacher: Use the word oath in a sentence
Student: Mike Tyson eaths oaths for breakfasth every morning
Edit: made this up today, have merthy on my thoul
Jeff, a semi colon, and an Oxford comma walk into a bar.
They both have a great time.
My friend got sentenced to the guillotine
He couldn't face death head on
I saw a linguist about my problem with putting periods where. they don’t belong in sentences
I suffer from premature punctuatio!n
Teacher: Use the word ‘intermittent’ in a sentence.
I said: While I was camping it began to rain hard so I ran intermittent.
My wife: You need to do more chores around the house.
Me: Can we change the subject?
Her: Ok. More chores around the house need to be done by you.
If my toddler misbehaves I sentence him to an hour in the
A Chihuahua and a Bulldog are in a bar having a drink, when a good-looking female Collie comes up to them and says, "Whoever can say liver and cheese in a sentence can have me." So the Bulldog says, "I love liver and cheese." The Collie replies, "That's not good enough."
Finally, the Chihuahua says, "Liver alone, cheese mine."
My Dad: Can you tell me a sensible sentence that uses the word 'because', three times, consecutively?
Me: Not today, Dad.
My Dad: Give up. Let me tell you in his glorious beaming pride face
I use because, because, because is a conjunction.
I could never accept a two-year sentence. I just don’t have that much to say.
To connect two sentences, what conjunction should I use, but or less?
A man was sentenced to 20 years in prison when he inadvertently contaminated the food supply of 30 specimens of America’s national bird.
His actions were highly ill-eagle
You should never end a sentence with a preposition.
i got a prison sentence
i don't remember what it said.
Well, you can't end a sentence with a proposition.
The world tongue twister champion just got arrested.
I heard they're going to give him a really tough sentence...
A man has been found guilty of using too many commas.
The judge told him to expect a long sentence.
I was asked once about the meaning of the word ' inexplicable ' in a sentence..
..and found it very hard to explain.
What word becomes shorter when you add two letters to it?
Can't even what..? Finish the sentence...!!
What do you call a sentence that can hurt you ?
We should create a sentence for everyone
But I don’t know, judge for yourself
What do you call a death sentence gone wrong?
Good concept, bad execution.
What do you call a writer who doesn't follow the rules of sentence structure?
My friend learned Spanish by jotting sentences repeatedly...
Where do prisoners when they get a light sentence?
A man is being taken to the gallows for his execution. The executioner asked if he had any last requests, and he asked for a high five.
The executioner left him hanging.
How many egg puns can I fit into a few sentences?
Well, I can roll out dozens of eggscruitating egg puns in just the first sentence alone. But the second one is where I start to crack you up from the amount of egg puns that were in the first sentence. By the third sentence your brain will be scrambled from the amount of egg puns that I cracked while just simply talking.
What is the shortest sentence in English?
I am.
What is the longest sentence in English?
I do.
I taught my four year old son how to use the word abundance in a sentence.
He said "thanks Dad, that really means a lot".
A group of phiologists is trying to conpletely change the way sentences are structured
They call themselves "New Word Order"
Accordion to a recent survey, inserting musical instruments into sentences goes largely unnoticed.
What do you after an Apple turns bad?
I have a twin brother in prison
We finish each other's sentences.
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