What is the sentencing when you get caught hunting illegally?

Murder in the first deergree

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Urinal-Cake2113
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2020
🚨︎ report
Judge: I hereby find you guilty for all crimes you have been charged with. For sentencing I order you to spend life behind bars without possibility of parole

Criminal: That's a long sentence, I demand a shorter one.

Judge: U did it. Go 2 jail forever.

πŸ‘︎ 528
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/johnblu5
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2019
🚨︎ report
The judge had no problem sentencing the man who killed his wife on her way to yoga class, for 1st degree murder...

...stating it was pre-meditative.

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/globalklaus
πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2018
🚨︎ report
Rumor has it that I’ve been sentenced to the gallows.

Please collect me if I’m wrung.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/CatsCreepMeowt
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29 2021
🚨︎ report
My wife ran over someone , and was sentenced to 10 years imprisonment.

She got out after 5 years and I had to serve the remaining 5.

We always finish each others sentences.

πŸ‘︎ 65
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/rhshi14
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2021
🚨︎ report
Teacher: "Use the word sugar in a sentence."

Student: "The tea is too sweet."

Teacher: "Where is sugar in the sentence?"

Student: "In the tea!!"

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26 2021
🚨︎ report
Dad, I need help writing a sentence using the word "irony."

Try this : I licked a golf club and it tasted irony.

πŸ‘︎ 194
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/heavyduty1930
πŸ“…︎ Dec 03 2020
🚨︎ report
He was sentenced to drinking spruce tea or leaving for 6 months because he was teaching the youth how to be passive-aggressive. His disciple Playdoh wrote half a screenplay about him before giving up and finding a real job.
πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/NRGFalcon
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2020
🚨︎ report
Authorities are searching for a four-foot tall woman who recently escaped from prison in upstate New York. She was serving a five year sentence for fraud after convincing a number of victims that she was a powerful psychic.

Now she's a small medium at large.

πŸ‘︎ 75
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/eggsaladapologist
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2020
🚨︎ report
Teacher: Use the word oath in a sentence

Student: Mike Tyson eaths oaths for breakfasth every morning

Edit: made this up today, have merthy on my thoul

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/traceywashere
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2020
🚨︎ report
Jeff, a semi colon, and an Oxford comma walk into a bar.

They both have a great time.

πŸ‘︎ 12k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 09 2020
🚨︎ report
sentence
πŸ‘︎ 110
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Katoof
πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2020
🚨︎ report
My friend got sentenced to the guillotine

He couldn't face death head on

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/endommagejosue
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2020
🚨︎ report
I saw a linguist about my problem with putting periods where. they don’t belong in sentences

I suffer from premature punctuatio!n

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/vehiclesales
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2020
🚨︎ report
Teacher: Use the word β€˜intermittent’ in a sentence.

I said: While I was camping it began to rain hard so I ran intermittent.

πŸ‘︎ 97
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/El_Sidgio
πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2020
🚨︎ report
My wife: You need to do more chores around the house.

Me: Can we change the subject?

Her: Ok. More chores around the house need to be done by you.

πŸ‘︎ 12k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2020
🚨︎ report
If my toddler misbehaves I sentence him to an hour in the

play-penitentiary.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/slowshot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2020
🚨︎ report
A Chihuahua and a Bulldog are in a bar having a drink, when a good-looking female Collie comes up to them and says, "Whoever can say liver and cheese in a sentence can have me." So the Bulldog says, "I love liver and cheese." The Collie replies, "That's not good enough."

Finally, the Chihuahua says, "Liver alone, cheese mine."

πŸ‘︎ 106
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jigsatics
πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2020
🚨︎ report
My Dad: Can you tell me a sensible sentence that uses the word 'because', three times, consecutively?

Me: Not today, Dad.

My Dad: Give up. Let me tell you in his glorious beaming pride face

I use because, because, because is a conjunction.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/yours_petpeeve
πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2020
🚨︎ report
I could never accept a two-year sentence. I just don’t have that much to say.
πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/equiinferno
πŸ“…︎ Sep 19 2020
🚨︎ report
Well, is it?
πŸ‘︎ 524
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/nakikibaka
πŸ“…︎ Dec 26 2020
🚨︎ report
To connect two sentences, what conjunction should I use, but or less?

Nevertheless

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jpereira73
πŸ“…︎ Oct 20 2020
🚨︎ report
It swordof works...
πŸ‘︎ 4k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Cornelius____
πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2020
🚨︎ report
A man was sentenced to 20 years in prison when he inadvertently contaminated the food supply of 30 specimens of America’s national bird.

His actions were highly ill-eagle

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/linknt01
πŸ“…︎ Sep 23 2020
🚨︎ report
You should never end a sentence with a preposition.

End of.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/orangemozzarella
πŸ“…︎ Sep 24 2020
🚨︎ report
i got a prison sentence

i don't remember what it said.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/wesamzxc
πŸ“…︎ Aug 21 2020
🚨︎ report
Well, you can't end a sentence with a proposition.
πŸ‘︎ 5k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/naumanafsar
πŸ“…︎ Jul 24 2019
🚨︎ report
The world tongue twister champion just got arrested.

I heard they're going to give him a really tough sentence...

πŸ‘︎ 65
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23 2021
🚨︎ report
A man has been found guilty of using too many commas.

The judge told him to expect a long sentence.

πŸ‘︎ 90
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/elwheelio
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25 2021
🚨︎ report
I was asked once about the meaning of the word ' inexplicable ' in a sentence..

..and found it very hard to explain.

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/HugoZHackenbush2
πŸ“…︎ Jul 19 2020
🚨︎ report
What word becomes shorter when you add two letters to it?

Short.

πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/cotswoldboy
πŸ“…︎ Dec 26 2020
🚨︎ report
Can't even what..? Finish the sentence...!!
πŸ‘︎ 5k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Deb_Eternity
πŸ“…︎ Jun 29 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a sentence that can hurt you ?

A punchline...

πŸ‘︎ 90
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SVT85
πŸ“…︎ Apr 16 2020
🚨︎ report
We should create a sentence for everyone

But I don’t know, judge for yourself

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/sdot28
πŸ“…︎ Jul 24 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a death sentence gone wrong?

Good concept, bad execution.

πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ElephantsAreHuge
πŸ“…︎ Jun 20 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a writer who doesn't follow the rules of sentence structure?

A rebel without a clause

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/xtilexx
πŸ“…︎ Aug 13 2020
🚨︎ report
My friend learned Spanish by jotting sentences repeatedly...

He used wrote learning.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Aug 03 2020
🚨︎ report
Where do prisoners when they get a light sentence?

Prism.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mistermajik2000
πŸ“…︎ May 25 2020
🚨︎ report
A man is being taken to the gallows for his execution. The executioner asked if he had any last requests, and he asked for a high five.

The executioner left him hanging.

πŸ‘︎ 346
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/themeatspin
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2020
🚨︎ report
How many egg puns can I fit into a few sentences?

Well, I can roll out dozens of eggscruitating egg puns in just the first sentence alone. But the second one is where I start to crack you up from the amount of egg puns that were in the first sentence. By the third sentence your brain will be scrambled from the amount of egg puns that I cracked while just simply talking.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Dream0nforever
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06 2020
🚨︎ report
What is the shortest sentence in English?

I am.

What is the longest sentence in English?

I do.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/seXJ69
πŸ“…︎ May 11 2020
🚨︎ report
I taught my four year old son how to use the word abundance in a sentence.

He said "thanks Dad, that really means a lot".

πŸ‘︎ 11k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/virtual_no_body
πŸ“…︎ Sep 16 2018
🚨︎ report
A group of phiologists is trying to conpletely change the way sentences are structured

They call themselves "New Word Order"

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ClapTheChad
πŸ“…︎ Jun 06 2020
🚨︎ report
Accordion to a recent survey, inserting musical instruments into sentences goes largely unnoticed.
πŸ‘︎ 65
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you after an Apple turns bad?

You open windows.

πŸ‘︎ 8k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Di_Ma_Re_Bra
πŸ“…︎ May 25 2020
🚨︎ report
I have a twin brother in prison

We finish each other's sentences.

πŸ‘︎ 29
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2021
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.