Article Of Faith Puns

Or its all made up, and you can stop worrying about what an 1800's religion thinks a bronze age god wants you to do with your life.

Go live your life and be happy as YOU see fit!

Inspired by the post by u/sandboxvet, about how the church constantly changes beliefs.

> We believe in God,

Adam God

> We believe that men will be punished for their own sins, and not for Adam's transgression.

Blacks before 1978; the November Policy

> We believe that through the Atonement of Christ, all mankind may be saved

Except sons of perdition.

> We believe that the first principles and ordinances of the Gospel are: first, Faith in the Lord Jesus Christ

Jesus first? try using Jesus words against church leaders. See who REALLY comes first.

> We believe that a man must be called of God, by prophecy, and by the laying on of hands by those who are in authority, to preach the Gospel and administer in the ordinances thereof.

Like Joseph Smith? No mention of the Peter, James and John visit until long AFTER he started commanding others. And if secret visits count, why did they excommunicate Denver Snuffer?

>We believe in the same organization that existed in the Primitive Church, namely, apostles, prophets, pastors, teachers, evangelists, and so forth.

and Relief society. And high priests. And then remove high priests again. And change evangelist into a patriarch.

>We believe in the gift of tongues, prophecy, revelation, visions, healing, interpretation of tongues, and so forth.

Try speaking in tongues at church. Go on. I dare you.

> We believe [...] the Book of Mormon to be the word of God.

So the trinity then?

> We believe all that God has revealed

Like polygamy?

> We believe in the literal gathering of Israel and in the restoration of the Ten Tribes; that Zion (the New Jerusalem) will be built upon the American continent

How is the gathering to Jackson County going anyway?

> We claim the privilege of worshiping Almighty God according to the dictates of our own conscience, and allow all men the same privilege, let them worship how, where, or what they may.

So no religious influence in politics then?

> We believe in being subject to kings, presidents, rulers, and magistrates, in obeying, honoring, and sustaining the law.

Then why were all those polygamists in jail?

> We believe in being honest

About the first vision? About the rock in the hat? About apostles seeing Jesus? About what, exactly?

“We believe that a man must be called of God, by prophecy, and by the laying on of hands by those who are in authority, to preach the Gospel and administer in the ordinances thereof.”

I had the primary song version of this stuck in my head all morning. (Side note: this has to be the bottom of the barrel of trash brainwashing tunes.)

My question:

When did women start serving missions? Why does the 5th Article of Faith say that only men can preach the Gospel? Am I misinterpreting?

Appeal after Sandeep Dhaliwal, a Texas deputy who was one of the first to wear a turban and long beard, was killed in a traffic stop

>Nearly 100 Sikh police officers and veterans have called on law enforcement associations to create formal policies to allow officers to wear articles of faith. The appeal, in the form of a letter, came in the wake of the murder of a Sikh-American sheriff’s deputy near Houston, Texas.
>
>Sandeep Singh Dhaliwal, a Harris county sheriff’s deputy, was ambushed, shot and killed during a seemingly routine traffic stop last week. He was one of the first Sikh American police officers in the country to wear a turban and long beard, both traditional signs of faith for Sikhs. His funeral is Wednesday, the same day the letter went out...
>
>In recent years, some wings of the military and police departments in major cities have moved to provide explicit policies for religious minorities to display articles of faith. For Sikhs, the most visible articles are a turban and uncut hair. Observant Sikhs also wear a small wooden comb, cotton undershorts, a steel bracelet and a small knife called a Kirpan.
>
>In spite of recent accommodations, the Sikh Coalition said only 25 of the nation’s 15,400 police departments have specific policies on articles of faith. The US Air Force first allowed a Sikh man to wear a turban this year. There are 500,000 Sikhs in the United States, and 25 million worldwide. Service is considered an essential tenet of the Sikh religion.

What do you think TAD?

If not, we totally should. It would be the ultimate parody/a legitimate way of presenting our beliefs

EDIT: If we make it, it should totally be called the Thirteen Articles of Truth

I have to briefly talk about her, her article and her views on Kashmir in maximum 50-60 words.

As I am not much into Politics.. I am not been able to conclude my views on her.

I hope I can hold onto you guys. Any help would be much appreciated.

Link to her article : https://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/blogs/bloody-mary/take-a-leap-of-faith-both-new-delhi-and-kashmir-valley-must-open-up-to-each-other/

Thanks.

I'm at the stage of my recovery from Mormonism where I'm trying to understand what I believe and, so, I have started compiling the list you can find below. The list is just for my own benefit; I'm not trying to persuade anyone of anything, and that's why you will see a lot of opinion mixed in with facts - at least the facts as I now understand them. I am open to adjusting my opinions as I gather additional data. This is my attempt to understand the world in which I live. You may be interested in skimming the list. I would love to hear if some point resonates with you.

I Believe:

1. The universe started with a Big Bang when all matter burst out of some sort of singularity several billion years ago.
2. Life on earth either started spontaneously or was transplanted here from somewhere else (where it had started spontaneously).
3. It is entirely possible an advanced alien civilization or artificial intelligence is responsible for the initiation of life on earth.
4. Man evolved from lower life forms. There was no creation.
5. Primitive people created the concept of god to explain natural phenomena they couldn’t explain.
6. Jesus was a good person - or perhaps a composite of more than one person - who tried to make the world a better place.
7. Jesus was killed and was not resurrected.
8. The writers of the Gospels - or some later contributor - invented the resurrection story and embellished it over time.
9. Churches developed for the purpose of exercising control over people and gathering wealth from them.
10. Very few religious leaders in ultimate control of their churches believe they are actually connected with god.
11. The Catholic Church was entirely man-made.
12. Catholic Church leaders were disappointed when the printing press gave their subjects access to information that called the leaders’ authority into question.
13. Joseph Smith’s family was enamored by mystical things.
14. Joseph Smith’s father reported a dream that was later turned into Lehi’s dream.
15. Joseph Smith had no faith and took actions based solely on self-interest.
16. Joseph tried to earn money when he was young by tricking people into believing he received information from spiritual sources others could not sense, such as knowing where to find buried treasure.
17. During one such fraudulent endeavor, Joseph found the stone that became his peep-stone.
18. Sydney Rigdon had the idea of getting rich by writing the Book of Mormon, based on A View of the Hebrews and other books he

You should talk about the Mormon articles of faith. https://www.lds.org/topics/articles-of-faith?lang=eng

We claim the privilege of worshiping Almighty God according to the dictates of the Q15, and allow all men the same privilege, let them worship how, where, and what we say.