Mother-in-law is in Prison. Need a good prison pun for Mothers Day Card.
So the hardest part is it has to be uplifting/cute like all the other mothers day cards, can't just be a simple jail/robber pun.
So far I got:
You're ex-cell-ent mom!
I'd break into a maximom security prison for you!
Hope your mothers day is on point! (with a diagram of a shank)
^((But they're kind of trash))
Ideas from others:
Most people have a mother-in-law but I get to have a mother-outlaw! u/tcbst15
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︎ May 02 2019
Two sesame seeds have escaped prison and are believed to be hiding out on top of some bread.
Police have described the fugitives as being 'on the bun'.
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︎ May 21 2021
There was a prison break
There was a prison break. I saw a midget climb up the fence.
As he jumped down her sneered at me and I thought, well that was a little condescending
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︎ May 11 2021
A man with a stutter died in prison
He never got to finish his sentence
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︎ Feb 11 2021
My best friend got sentenced to life in prison, and I wanted to console him
I said, "Imagine you're a cat!"
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︎ May 07 2021
What are prison walls made out of?
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︎ Apr 27 2021
Did you hear about the midget psychic that escaped from prison?
Yeah, there's a small medium at large
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︎ Apr 14 2021
Whatβs the difference between someone going to prison and a guy who has a mobile knife sharpening business?
One gets incarcerated, the other is in-car-serrated
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︎ Feb 22 2021
I work as a librarian in a prison
The job has its prose and cons.
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︎ Feb 08 2021
They started a poetry class at the local prison...
But I don't know how I feel about it... There are prose and cons
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︎ Feb 22 2021
Why are the prisons in Conneticut generally better?
Because they have con etiquette.
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︎ Feb 19 2021
Found out my friend with a stammer died in prison
He just couldn't finish his sentence
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︎ Mar 15 2021
Why was the bad poet the best at taking role in prison?
Because when they have no prose all they can do is list cons.
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︎ Mar 14 2021
Was driving by the prison the other night when I saw a midget climbing down from a window.
I said to myself, thatβs a little condescending
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︎ Dec 26 2020
Did you hear about the prisons new creative writing department?
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︎ Feb 25 2021
Today I saw a prison guard berating a dwarf inmate who was trying to escape by climbing down a drainpipe.
I thought it was a little condescending.
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︎ Feb 07 2021
Today I got a suspicious letter allegedly from a Buddhist prison.
It was monk jail junk mail.
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︎ Feb 21 2021
A cement mixer and a prison bus crashed on the highway...
Police advise citizens to be on the lookout for a group of hardened criminals!
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︎ Nov 22 2020
In the Seine-et-Marne region of France you can bail yourself out of prison using cheese
It's called playing the 'Get out of jail Brie card'
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︎ Jan 31 2021
Why is it a good idea to put more books in prison libraries?
Because the prose outweigh the cons.
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︎ Oct 23 2020
Authorities are searching for a four-foot tall woman who recently escaped from prison in upstate New York. She was serving a five year sentence for fraud after convincing a number of victims that she was a powerful psychic.
Now she's a small medium at large.
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︎ Nov 25 2020
I have a twin brother in prison
We finish each other's sentences.
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︎ Jan 11 2021
Just got offered a job teaching poetry in prison.
Spent all night thinking about the prose and cons.
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︎ Sep 12 2020
Do you have any idea what they do to eggs in prison?
I'll tell you thisβ It ain't over easy.
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︎ Oct 01 2020
A man called his twin brother from prison
βHey remember when we were kids and use to finish each otherβs sentences?β
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︎ Mar 03 2020
The man was finally about to escape prison when he realised he forgot something. He ran back and grabbed acne cream. Why?
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︎ Nov 02 2020
The person who had once kidnapped me got released after serving 10 years in prison. Since then, I secretly follow him to his house every single day without his knowledge.
I guess I'm suffering from 'stalk home' syndrome.
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︎ Dec 03 2020
Did you hear about the Beever that was sent to prison.
The evidence against him was damming.
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︎ Sep 22 2020
I just heard on the news, Adele has been sent to prison for 8 years
She was charged for setting fire to Lorraine
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︎ Nov 27 2020
How did the space criminal escape from the prison planet?
He achieved ESCAPE VELOCITY
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︎ Dec 01 2020
Why are female prisoners kept in separate prisons?
Because most prisoners are in cells.
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︎ Sep 22 2020
A rich man who got sent to jail decided to pay to upgrade his prison cell.
He is now behind gold bars.
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︎ Oct 01 2020
I sent my daughter to prison because she didn't want to sleep
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︎ Oct 10 2020
In the history of crime literature, which character has been the most effective at getting people out of prison?
The dot "."
It has ended more sentences than anything else.
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︎ Sep 28 2020
A psychic dwarf broke out of prison the other day, what did the headlines say?
Thereβs small medium at large
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︎ Aug 03 2020
The Government Accidentally Built A Prison Outside My Home,
I Guess You Could Say I'm Under House Arrest.
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︎ Nov 17 2020
A psychic midget escaped from prison.
There's a small medium at large.
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︎ Feb 22 2021
An infamous psychic dwarf has escaped from the local prison!
There's a small medium at large.
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︎ Mar 01 2021
What do you call a midget magician that escaped from prison?
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︎ Feb 14 2021
Did you hear about the psychic midget that escaped from prison?
News paper headline read βsmall medium at largeβ
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︎ Feb 07 2021
What do you call a fortune telling midget who just escaped from prison?
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︎ Jan 11 2021
Today I saw a dwarf climbing down a prison wall.
I thought to myself, βThatβs a little condescending.β
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︎ Aug 05 2020
Did you see the headline about the psychic midget who escaped from prison???
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︎ Dec 21 2020
I saw a midget climbing down the prison wall the other day
It was a little condescending
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︎ Sep 19 2020
I saw a dwarf climbing down a prison wall.
Thought to myself, βthatβs a little condescendingβ.
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︎ Aug 09 2020
The man was finally about to escape prison when he realised he forgot something. He ran back and grabbed acne cream. Why?
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︎ Oct 28 2020
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