Mother-in-law is in Prison. Need a good prison pun for Mothers Day Card.

So the hardest part is it has to be uplifting/cute like all the other mothers day cards, can't just be a simple jail/robber pun.

So far I got:

You're ex-cell-ent mom!

I'd break into a maximom security prison for you!

Hope your mothers day is on point! (with a diagram of a shank)

^((But they're kind of trash))

Ideas from others:

Most people have a mother-in-law but I get to have a mother-outlaw! u/tcbst15

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/vitamorior
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 02 2019
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Two sesame seeds have escaped prison and are believed to be hiding out on top of some bread.

Police have described the fugitives as being 'on the bun'.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Pudenator
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 21 2021
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There was a prison break

There was a prison break. I saw a midget climb up the fence.

As he jumped down her sneered at me and I thought, well that was a little condescending

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Kingfisher202103
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 11 2021
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A man with a stutter died in prison

He never got to finish his sentence

πŸ‘οΈŽ 384
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/PeevesPoltergist
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 11 2021
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My best friend got sentenced to life in prison, and I wanted to console him

I said, "Imagine you're a cat!"

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/billbixbyakahulk
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 07 2021
🚨︎ report
What are prison walls made out of?

CONcrete

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/prq9218
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 27 2021
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the midget psychic that escaped from prison?

Yeah, there's a small medium at large

πŸ‘οΈŽ 16
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/nethermal
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 14 2021
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What’s the difference between someone going to prison and a guy who has a mobile knife sharpening business?

One gets incarcerated, the other is in-car-serrated

πŸ‘οΈŽ 30
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/techtornado
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 22 2021
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I work as a librarian in a prison

The job has its prose and cons.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 42
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Thurl_Ravenscroft_MD
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 08 2021
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They started a poetry class at the local prison...

But I don't know how I feel about it... There are prose and cons

πŸ‘οΈŽ 12
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Caddiss_jc
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 22 2021
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Why are the prisons in Conneticut generally better?

Because they have con etiquette.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 16
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/DMI13th
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 19 2021
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Found out my friend with a stammer died in prison

He just couldn't finish his sentence

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/schwifty98
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 15 2021
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Why was the bad poet the best at taking role in prison?

Because when they have no prose all they can do is list cons.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Dr_Devious
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 14 2021
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Was driving by the prison the other night when I saw a midget climbing down from a window.

I said to myself, that’s a little condescending

πŸ‘οΈŽ 112
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/awag80
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 26 2020
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Did you hear about the prisons new creative writing department?

Prose and Cons

πŸ‘οΈŽ 8
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/TreeFittyy
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 25 2021
🚨︎ report
Today I saw a prison guard berating a dwarf inmate who was trying to escape by climbing down a drainpipe.

I thought it was a little condescending.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 8
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/VeryLastBison
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 07 2021
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Today I got a suspicious letter allegedly from a Buddhist prison.

It was monk jail junk mail.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/trentontron
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 21 2021
🚨︎ report
A cement mixer and a prison bus crashed on the highway...

Police advise citizens to be on the lookout for a group of hardened criminals!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 209
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/crazyfortaco
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 22 2020
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In the Seine-et-Marne region of France you can bail yourself out of prison using cheese

It's called playing the 'Get out of jail Brie card'

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/tiorzol
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 31 2021
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Why is it a good idea to put more books in prison libraries?

Because the prose outweigh the cons.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 209
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/dadjo_kes
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 23 2020
🚨︎ report
Authorities are searching for a four-foot tall woman who recently escaped from prison in upstate New York. She was serving a five year sentence for fraud after convincing a number of victims that she was a powerful psychic.

Now she's a small medium at large.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 79
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/eggsaladapologist
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 25 2020
🚨︎ report
I have a twin brother in prison

We finish each other's sentences.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 29
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Psychological-Bill76
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 11 2021
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Just got offered a job teaching poetry in prison.

Spent all night thinking about the prose and cons.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 219
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/midget_clown
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 12 2020
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Do you have any idea what they do to eggs in prison?

I'll tell you thisβ€” It ain't over easy.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 59
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/invertedparadoxxx
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 01 2020
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A man called his twin brother from prison

β€œHey remember when we were kids and use to finish each other’s sentences?”

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/lazydoodlelol
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 03 2020
🚨︎ report
The man was finally about to escape prison when he realised he forgot something. He ran back and grabbed acne cream. Why?

He was breaking out.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/0lSherlockl0
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 02 2020
🚨︎ report
The person who had once kidnapped me got released after serving 10 years in prison. Since then, I secretly follow him to his house every single day without his knowledge.

I guess I'm suffering from 'stalk home' syndrome.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/sodomicity
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 03 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the Beever that was sent to prison.

The evidence against him was damming.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/jarl_draven
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 22 2020
🚨︎ report
I just heard on the news, Adele has been sent to prison for 8 years

She was charged for setting fire to Lorraine

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Folically-endowed
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 27 2020
🚨︎ report
How did the space criminal escape from the prison planet?

He achieved ESCAPE VELOCITY

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Schrodingers_liar
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 01 2020
🚨︎ report
Why are female prisoners kept in separate prisons?

Because most prisoners are in cells.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Masked_Death
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 22 2020
🚨︎ report
A rich man who got sent to jail decided to pay to upgrade his prison cell.

He is now behind gold bars.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/tyckt206
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 01 2020
🚨︎ report
I sent my daughter to prison because she didn't want to sleep

She was resisting a rest

πŸ‘οΈŽ 36
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/egasz
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 10 2020
🚨︎ report
In the history of crime literature, which character has been the most effective at getting people out of prison?

The dot "."

It has ended more sentences than anything else.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 13
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Ultimadark
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 28 2020
🚨︎ report
A psychic dwarf broke out of prison the other day, what did the headlines say?

There’s small medium at large

πŸ‘οΈŽ 59
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/50pciggy
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 03 2020
🚨︎ report
The Government Accidentally Built A Prison Outside My Home,

I Guess You Could Say I'm Under House Arrest.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/MichiMichu
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 17 2020
🚨︎ report
A psychic midget escaped from prison.

There's a small medium at large.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 23
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Pdb12345
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 22 2021
🚨︎ report
An infamous psychic dwarf has escaped from the local prison!

There's a small medium at large.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 16
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/CaptainNuge
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 01 2021
🚨︎ report
What do you call a midget magician that escaped from prison?

A small medium at large.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 13
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/NecroUknown
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 14 2021
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the psychic midget that escaped from prison?

News paper headline read β€œsmall medium at large”

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/frozeneskimo02
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 07 2021
🚨︎ report
What do you call a fortune telling midget who just escaped from prison?

a small medium at large.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 19
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/firriki
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 11 2021
🚨︎ report
Today I saw a dwarf climbing down a prison wall.

I thought to myself, β€œThat’s a little condescending.”

πŸ‘οΈŽ 324
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/sierrasport
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 05 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you see the headline about the psychic midget who escaped from prison???

Small Medium at Large.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Cordur-Oy-Jones
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 21 2020
🚨︎ report
I saw a midget climbing down the prison wall the other day

It was a little condescending

πŸ‘οΈŽ 88
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/CharlieFoxtrot432
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 19 2020
🚨︎ report
I saw a dwarf climbing down a prison wall.

Thought to myself, β€œthat’s a little condescending”.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 27
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/giacal3
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 09 2020
🚨︎ report
The man was finally about to escape prison when he realised he forgot something. He ran back and grabbed acne cream. Why?

He was breaking out.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/0lSherlockl0
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 28 2020
🚨︎ report

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