Mother-in-law is in Prison. Need a good prison pun for Mothers Day Card.

So the hardest part is it has to be uplifting/cute like all the other mothers day cards, can't just be a simple jail/robber pun.

So far I got:

You're ex-cell-ent mom!

I'd break into a maximom security prison for you!

Hope your mothers day is on point! (with a diagram of a shank)

^((But they're kind of trash))

Ideas from others:

Most people have a mother-in-law but I get to have a mother-outlaw! u/tcbst15

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πŸ‘€︎ u/vitamorior
πŸ“…︎ May 02 2019
🚨︎ report
Two sesame seeds have escaped prison and are believed to be hiding out on top of some bread.

Police have described the fugitives as being 'on the bun'.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pudenator
πŸ“…︎ May 21 2021
🚨︎ report
There was a prison break

There was a prison break. I saw a midget climb up the fence.

As he jumped down her sneered at me and I thought, well that was a little condescending

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kingfisher202103
πŸ“…︎ May 11 2021
🚨︎ report
A man with a stutter died in prison

He never got to finish his sentence

πŸ‘︎ 384
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PeevesPoltergist
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2021
🚨︎ report
My best friend got sentenced to life in prison, and I wanted to console him

I said, "Imagine you're a cat!"

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/billbixbyakahulk
πŸ“…︎ May 07 2021
🚨︎ report
What are prison walls made out of?

CONcrete

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/prq9218
πŸ“…︎ Apr 27 2021
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the midget psychic that escaped from prison?

Yeah, there's a small medium at large

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/nethermal
πŸ“…︎ Apr 14 2021
🚨︎ report
What’s the difference between someone going to prison and a guy who has a mobile knife sharpening business?

One gets incarcerated, the other is in-car-serrated

πŸ‘︎ 30
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πŸ‘€︎ u/techtornado
πŸ“…︎ Feb 22 2021
🚨︎ report
I work as a librarian in a prison

The job has its prose and cons.

πŸ‘︎ 42
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Feb 08 2021
🚨︎ report
They started a poetry class at the local prison...

But I don't know how I feel about it... There are prose and cons

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Caddiss_jc
πŸ“…︎ Feb 22 2021
🚨︎ report
Why are the prisons in Conneticut generally better?

Because they have con etiquette.

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DMI13th
πŸ“…︎ Feb 19 2021
🚨︎ report
Found out my friend with a stammer died in prison

He just couldn't finish his sentence

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/schwifty98
πŸ“…︎ Mar 15 2021
🚨︎ report
Why was the bad poet the best at taking role in prison?

Because when they have no prose all they can do is list cons.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dr_Devious
πŸ“…︎ Mar 14 2021
🚨︎ report
Was driving by the prison the other night when I saw a midget climbing down from a window.

I said to myself, that’s a little condescending

πŸ‘︎ 112
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πŸ‘€︎ u/awag80
πŸ“…︎ Dec 26 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the prisons new creative writing department?

Prose and Cons

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TreeFittyy
πŸ“…︎ Feb 25 2021
🚨︎ report
Today I saw a prison guard berating a dwarf inmate who was trying to escape by climbing down a drainpipe.

I thought it was a little condescending.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VeryLastBison
πŸ“…︎ Feb 07 2021
🚨︎ report
Today I got a suspicious letter allegedly from a Buddhist prison.

It was monk jail junk mail.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/trentontron
πŸ“…︎ Feb 21 2021
🚨︎ report
A cement mixer and a prison bus crashed on the highway...

Police advise citizens to be on the lookout for a group of hardened criminals!

πŸ‘︎ 209
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πŸ‘€︎ u/crazyfortaco
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2020
🚨︎ report
In the Seine-et-Marne region of France you can bail yourself out of prison using cheese

It's called playing the 'Get out of jail Brie card'

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tiorzol
πŸ“…︎ Jan 31 2021
🚨︎ report
Why is it a good idea to put more books in prison libraries?

Because the prose outweigh the cons.

πŸ‘︎ 209
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dadjo_kes
πŸ“…︎ Oct 23 2020
🚨︎ report
Authorities are searching for a four-foot tall woman who recently escaped from prison in upstate New York. She was serving a five year sentence for fraud after convincing a number of victims that she was a powerful psychic.

Now she's a small medium at large.

πŸ‘︎ 79
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πŸ‘€︎ u/eggsaladapologist
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2020
🚨︎ report
I have a twin brother in prison

We finish each other's sentences.

πŸ‘︎ 29
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2021
🚨︎ report
Just got offered a job teaching poetry in prison.

Spent all night thinking about the prose and cons.

πŸ‘︎ 219
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πŸ‘€︎ u/midget_clown
πŸ“…︎ Sep 12 2020
🚨︎ report
Do you have any idea what they do to eggs in prison?

I'll tell you thisβ€” It ain't over easy.

πŸ‘︎ 59
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πŸ‘€︎ u/invertedparadoxxx
πŸ“…︎ Oct 01 2020
🚨︎ report
A man called his twin brother from prison

β€œHey remember when we were kids and use to finish each other’s sentences?”

πŸ‘︎ 5k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lazydoodlelol
πŸ“…︎ Mar 03 2020
🚨︎ report
The man was finally about to escape prison when he realised he forgot something. He ran back and grabbed acne cream. Why?

He was breaking out.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/0lSherlockl0
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2020
🚨︎ report
The person who had once kidnapped me got released after serving 10 years in prison. Since then, I secretly follow him to his house every single day without his knowledge.

I guess I'm suffering from 'stalk home' syndrome.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sodomicity
πŸ“…︎ Dec 03 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the Beever that was sent to prison.

The evidence against him was damming.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jarl_draven
πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2020
🚨︎ report
I just heard on the news, Adele has been sent to prison for 8 years

She was charged for setting fire to Lorraine

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Folically-endowed
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2020
🚨︎ report
How did the space criminal escape from the prison planet?

He achieved ESCAPE VELOCITY

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Schrodingers_liar
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2020
🚨︎ report
Why are female prisoners kept in separate prisons?

Because most prisoners are in cells.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Masked_Death
πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2020
🚨︎ report
A rich man who got sent to jail decided to pay to upgrade his prison cell.

He is now behind gold bars.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/tyckt206
πŸ“…︎ Oct 01 2020
🚨︎ report
I sent my daughter to prison because she didn't want to sleep

She was resisting a rest

πŸ‘︎ 36
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πŸ‘€︎ u/egasz
πŸ“…︎ Oct 10 2020
🚨︎ report
In the history of crime literature, which character has been the most effective at getting people out of prison?

The dot "."

It has ended more sentences than anything else.

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Ultimadark
πŸ“…︎ Sep 28 2020
🚨︎ report
A psychic dwarf broke out of prison the other day, what did the headlines say?

There’s small medium at large

πŸ‘︎ 59
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/50pciggy
πŸ“…︎ Aug 03 2020
🚨︎ report
The Government Accidentally Built A Prison Outside My Home,

I Guess You Could Say I'm Under House Arrest.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MichiMichu
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2020
🚨︎ report
A psychic midget escaped from prison.

There's a small medium at large.

πŸ‘︎ 23
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Pdb12345
πŸ“…︎ Feb 22 2021
🚨︎ report
An infamous psychic dwarf has escaped from the local prison!

There's a small medium at large.

πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/CaptainNuge
πŸ“…︎ Mar 01 2021
🚨︎ report
What do you call a midget magician that escaped from prison?

A small medium at large.

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/NecroUknown
πŸ“…︎ Feb 14 2021
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the psychic midget that escaped from prison?

News paper headline read β€œsmall medium at large”

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/frozeneskimo02
πŸ“…︎ Feb 07 2021
🚨︎ report
What do you call a fortune telling midget who just escaped from prison?

a small medium at large.

πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/firriki
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2021
🚨︎ report
Today I saw a dwarf climbing down a prison wall.

I thought to myself, β€œThat’s a little condescending.”

πŸ‘︎ 324
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/sierrasport
πŸ“…︎ Aug 05 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you see the headline about the psychic midget who escaped from prison???

Small Medium at Large.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Cordur-Oy-Jones
πŸ“…︎ Dec 21 2020
🚨︎ report
I saw a midget climbing down the prison wall the other day

It was a little condescending

πŸ‘︎ 88
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/CharlieFoxtrot432
πŸ“…︎ Sep 19 2020
🚨︎ report
I saw a dwarf climbing down a prison wall.

Thought to myself, β€œthat’s a little condescending”.

πŸ‘︎ 27
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/giacal3
πŸ“…︎ Aug 09 2020
🚨︎ report
The man was finally about to escape prison when he realised he forgot something. He ran back and grabbed acne cream. Why?

He was breaking out.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/0lSherlockl0
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2020
🚨︎ report

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