Three men were onboard a ship playing dice on deck when the oldest man angrily jumped off the front of the boat. The younger man said..
You keeled my father. Prepare two die.
*I sent this to my brother and he replies: Was his name Inyougo?
^(What a freaking professional)
What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet?
Did you hear about the mummy that just woke up and is still convinced he’s ruler of Egypt? When told ‘that’s impossible’ he flew into a rage, ran away, and jumped in a river.
People say he’s in da Nile
A German tourist jumped off to the freezing water to save my precious dog who was drowning.
After he climbed out he said, "Here is ze dog, dry him off and he vill be fine."
I said, "Are you a vet?"
To which he replied, annoyed; "Vet? I'm fucking zoaking."
I accidentally stepped on my cats tail. The cat jumped, and I ended up kicking the table pretty hard. “Ouch!” I yelled
“YOU, ow?” The cat replied in disbelief.
“ME-ow”
What happened when the cow jumped over the barbed wire fence
A man jumped into the freezing river in Paris...
Eyewitness say, the man was in-Seine.
This one pirate i know jumped into the sea for attention
I think he went overboard
Found out my son jumped the water by the docks
I took my son camping the other day. As we prepared I hid in his luggage and when he came over I jumped out and screamed
What did the frog say when he jumped in the puddle?
My boyfriend’s cat, Jack, recently discovered the Amazon box lying on the floor. He jumped in and started playing in it. I guess you can say....
While riding down the road today, a fish jumped out of a boat that was being towed, and smashed into the front of my car.
It wasn't all bad though, I love grilled fish.
Some people have jumped off of something and died
They jumped to a conclusion and made an impact
Have you heard the one about the cow that jumped over the moon?
Her anger jumped discontinuously at that point in time.
Me: My love for you is 0/0
Her: Aww, infinite?
Me: Nahh,Undefined.
Her: Why are you like this, is there no limit to your stupidity?
Me: Umm, now that you say it, I should've applied a limit to it.
Her: I want to break your bones, ugh.
Me: So are you saying that I'll have to re-visit the l'hospital?
My friend texted me saying he jumped off a tower, I said yeah right...
He says ‘I’m dead serious!’
He really jumped on that opportunity
Yesterday I jumped higher than a house
If you ever get jumped by a gang of clowns...
I jumped into the wrong pool
It landed me in some hot water
Mama fly and baby fly were hanging out at the coroner’s office. The coroner was enjoying a sandwich while he performed an autopsy. Baby fly landed on the sandwich as the coroner took a bite. Mama fly jumped into action and hit the man in the eye and baby fly escaped out of his mouth.
. Mama fly looked into baby fly’s eyes and said,
“Nobody puts baby in a coroner”
A friend of mine said he was having sex with his girlfriend and then the cat jumped on their bed and started licking his butt
I said to the friend: "you're lucky he didn't get a prize for it, that would have been a catasstrophy"
While driving to work, robbers jumped into my car and stole everything.
They were pirates of the car I be in.
I accidentally sat upon a solo album by the lead guitarist, keyboardist and backing vocalist of the band U2 but quickly jumped up, scared that I broke it.
For a second, I was on Edge.
Did you hear about the thief who jumped into the fish pond?
People said he was very coy
What did the teacher say when s/he jumped out of the closet?
What did the janitor yell as he jumped out of the closet?
What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet?
What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet?
What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet?
What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet?
A german tourist jumped in the freezing water to save my dog. After he climbed out, he said, “here is ze dog, dry him off and keep him warm, he vill be fine. I asked him, “are you a vet?”
He said, “vet? I’m fucking soaking”
The janitor jumped out of the closet and yelled
Did you hear about the cow who jumped over the barbed wire fence?
It was udder destruction.
What did the janitor say when he jumped out of his closet?
What did the Janitor say when he jumped out of the closet?
Did you hear about the cow who jumped over the barbed wire fence?
It was udder destruction.
What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet?
Did you hear about the cow who jumped over the barbed wire fence?
It was udder destruction.
What happened when the cow jumped over the barb wired fence?
What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the utility closet?
Did you hear about the cow who jumped over the barbed wire fence?
It was udder destruction.
What did the janitor yell when he jumped out of the closet?
What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet?
Did you hear about the cow who jumped over the barbed wire fence?
It was udder destruction.
Did you hear about the cow who jumped over the barbed wire fence?
It was udder destruction.
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