What did Spanish freshman guy said to the final year girl?

Hola SENIORita

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πŸ‘€︎ u/LONEWOLF__14
πŸ“…︎ May 27 2021
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Last week, a freshman secret service officer stopped an assassination attempt on the president of the United States by screaming β€œMickey Mouse”!

When his superior congratulated him for the arrest, he asked β€œWhy did you scream Mickey Mouse?” And the secret serviceman said β€œI was trying to say Donald Duck!”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/GPyleFan11
πŸ“…︎ Mar 11 2019
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Y’all know about the freshman 15?

I’ve gained the Covid-19.

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πŸ“…︎ Apr 20 2020
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My high school freshman math teacher was the best

Someone sneezes

Someone else: Bless you!

Teacher: That's where I went to college. Bless University.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/InsanePsycologist
πŸ“…︎ Jun 18 2014
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I once new a guy who was good at magic

When he was really young, he was the best magician I’ve ever seen. People came to see this first grader do all sorts of magic. Cutting women in half, floating on air, turning roses into doves, the works.

But as he got older, he started to loose his touch. He couldn’t turn flowers into birds when he hit 8th grade. He stopped being able to float as a freshman. When he graduated, he could barely find a quarter in your ear.

I bumped into him one day after he came home from graduating college. He was working as an architect now. I asked him what happened to all that magic? How come he couldn’t keep it going?

He put his arm around me and said, β€œthe way I see it, it was all tricks. And tricks are for kids”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Skyboss1996
πŸ“…︎ May 13 2022
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A shocking story

My freshman year in high school (96-97), I was in choir, and we drove up in a big coach bus to Magic Mountain for a choir competition.

Approaching San Onofre, the driver told us a "little known fact" that if you put your hand on the window while passing under those jumbo power lines coming from the plant, you can feel a moderately painful shock. Being gullible teenagers, a lot of us tried it.

We passed under, and the driver asked if we felt any pain. There were scattered replies in the negative. The diver said, "You didn't feel the window pane?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Wasntmyproudest
πŸ“…︎ Aug 27 2020
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[request] puns involving spears?

I'm an incoming freshman for FSU and at my high school, they have the seniors decorate a wall with their name, the logo of the college they're attending, and a little phrase. Making jokes about native americans is a little distasteful, soooo I'm looking for some quality spear puns.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/that-broken-chair
πŸ“…︎ Mar 23 2018
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I finished my first year of university, but I gained 34 lbs...

First it was the Freshman-15, then the Covid-19.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/1stdayof
πŸ“…︎ Apr 27 2020
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What do you call pants on fire?

Hot pockets.

I made this one up when I was in freshman year of high school 2008, all my friends and family at the time can confirm.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lolobigsmash
πŸ“…︎ May 11 2019
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He doesn't often make dad jokes, but when he does...

My dad helping me (sheltered 17yr old girl) move into my dorm freshman year of college, when I discover a box of condoms he packed in with my office supplies.

Me: Dad, what's this doing here?

Dad: Better safe than sorry, I want you to keep them just in case.

Me: (laughing) don't worry Dad, boys have cooties.

Dad: (serious) I know. That's what the condoms are for.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ms-morbid
πŸ“…︎ Aug 28 2013
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I have a good one

So my friend and I were both college freshman and I'm going with him and his uncle on the first day for lunch. We pass a Chase Bank and his uncle says "you an go to Chase bank of you need to get money" My friend, "it's a bank, why do I have to chase it?" I lolled right out of my chair

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RICKY_Nicholoff
πŸ“…︎ Jun 14 2015
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My professor today...

A freshman asked my teacher today where he gets his hair cut and he said "on the ends".

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Abrew
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2013
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