Co-Ed Vid 19
Womp womp
I’ve gained the Covid-19.
When his superior congratulated him for the arrest, he asked “Why did you scream Mickey Mouse?” And the secret serviceman said “I was trying to say Donald Duck!”
He says "You are going to do drugs, no doubt. But coke is where you should draw the line!"
Someone sneezes
Someone else: Bless you!
Teacher: That's where I went to college. Bless University.
I do a lot of fly fishing now a days, but I still don't catch too many flies.
My freshman year in high school (96-97), I was in choir, and we drove up in a big coach bus to Magic Mountain for a choir competition.
Approaching San Onofre, the driver told us a "little known fact" that if you put your hand on the window while passing under those jumbo power lines coming from the plant, you can feel a moderately painful shock. Being gullible teenagers, a lot of us tried it.
We passed under, and the driver asked if we felt any pain. There were scattered replies in the negative. The diver said, "You didn't feel the window pane?"
First it was the Freshman-15, then the Covid-19.
I'm an incoming freshman for FSU and at my high school, they have the seniors decorate a wall with their name, the logo of the college they're attending, and a little phrase. Making jokes about native americans is a little distasteful, soooo I'm looking for some quality spear puns.
So my sister is a freshman at college and after a week my dad asks her how classes are going. She says all is ok except that her math professor is Russian and she can hardly understand him. My dad without missing a beat "He's Russian? well tell him to slow down then"....
My freshman daughter complained to me yesterday that she can't sleep on a plane. I told her she sleeps on a plane every night.
"Huh?"
"You're talking airplane. I'm talking geometry."
She's doesn't like me any more.
So my friend and I were both college freshman and I'm going with him and his uncle on the first day for lunch. We pass a Chase Bank and his uncle says "you an go to Chase bank of you need to get money" My friend, "it's a bank, why do I have to chase it?" I lolled right out of my chair
My dad helping me (sheltered 17yr old girl) move into my dorm freshman year of college, when I discover a box of condoms he packed in with my office supplies.
Me: Dad, what's this doing here?
Dad: Better safe than sorry, I want you to keep them just in case.
Me: (laughing) don't worry Dad, boys have cooties.
Dad: (serious) I know. That's what the condoms are for.
