A suspected Covid-19 male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose.

A young student female nurse appears and gives him a partial sponge bath.

"Nurse,"' he mumbles from behind the mask, "are my testicles black?"

Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, "I don't know, Sir. I'm only here to wash your upper body and feet."

He struggles to ask again, "Nurse, please check for me. Are my testicles black?"

Concerned that he might elevate his blood pressure and heart rate from worrying about his testicles, she overcomes her embarrassment and pulls back the covers.

She raises his gown, holds his manhood in one hand and his testicles gently in the other.

She looks very closely and says, "There's nothing wrong with them, Sir. They look fine."

The man slowly pulls off his oxygen mask, smiles at her, and says very slowly,

"Thank you very much. That was wonderful. Now listen very, very, closely:

"Are - my - test - results - back?"

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👤︎ u/RabbitHODL
📅︎ Apr 08 2020
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My son had an ingrown toenail treated.

The doctor's office was associated with the local medical college, so there were a couple of med students watching the senior doctor work on my son's toe. He loaded up a syringe with anesthetic and injected in multiple places, explaining that he was doing this to achieve digital blocking (that is, numbing the entire digit, namely the toe).

After it was done they left the nurse to bandage my son up, and he said, "Dad? What did he mean by digital blocking?"

"Well, when you weren't looking he hooked your toe up to a USB port and downloaded some MP3s into it. If you hold your foot close to your ear you can hear "Laaaaa, aaaaa aa aaaaah, close to you.""

The nurse stared at me and turned to my son. "Is he always like this?"

He silently nodded, looking at the floor...

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👤︎ u/oldforger
📅︎ Jul 20 2015
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My old highschool teacher must be a great dad

During class

Student: My arm hurting me, can I go see the school nurse?

Teacher: If your arm is hurting you, you should throw it in jail.

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👤︎ u/Dividinq
📅︎ Aug 03 2016
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At the doctor's office

I was student observing/shadowing a doctor a few days ago. I went with the nurse into the patient room and she says

"This is perrbear, he's currently shadowing the doctor. Would you mind if he sits in?"

The husband responds "Sure, shadows have never bothered us.. although I've never seen one with a face before!"

I smile as he guffaws to himself.

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👤︎ u/perrbear
📅︎ May 24 2014
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