A soup pun
I ordered a quart of matzoh ball soup from the restaurant across the street. They usually put two matzoh balls per order, but I asked if I could have a third. The guy on the phone said he'd try to fit the extra one in.
When I went to pick up the soup, I asked the guy if he was able to get the third one in the container, and he said "Yup, the ball's in your quart now".
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︎ Dec 05 2014
From my 8yr old: Whatβs the difference between roast beef and pea soup?
You can roast beef, but you canβt pee soup!
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︎ Oct 07 2020
I've combined a laxative and alphabet soup.
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︎ Oct 05 2020
What does a duck put in itβs soup?
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︎ Oct 05 2020
What do you call a soup factory run by strippers?
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︎ Sep 22 2020
How many beans do you need to make the perfect bean soup?
239.
Because one more would be too farty.
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︎ Aug 25 2020
I ate five cans of alphabet soup yesterday
And this morning I had a huge vowel movement.
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︎ Sep 12 2020
What do you call Vietnamese soup that is really, really good?
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︎ Sep 27 2020
Why can't you trust the alphabet soup?
There are so many M-pastas.
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︎ Sep 22 2020
What do you call the biggest size of soup you can order in restaurants?
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︎ Sep 09 2020
Who was the pharaoh of noodle soup?
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︎ Sep 23 2020
The soup's gone bad.
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︎ Jul 25 2020
When I was little my parents always have me alphabet soup claiming that I liked it but they were just...
...putting words in my mouth
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︎ Aug 03 2020
Youβve heard of alphabet soup now get ready for....
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︎ Mar 13 2020
A horsefly landed in my soup
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︎ Sep 09 2020
*Snail soup*
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︎ Jul 07 2020
Thin soup
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︎ May 16 2020
How do you make trash soup?
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︎ Aug 23 2020
What is the most acidic soup?
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︎ Aug 25 2020
My parents would always feed me alphabet soup when I was younger and theyβd insist that I liked it
But I didnβt! All they were doing was putting words in my mouth!
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︎ Aug 04 2020
If I want to make Escargot and turtle soup for dinner....
Do I need to use a slow cooker?
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︎ Aug 27 2020
How do you make golden soup?
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︎ Aug 01 2020
I sat down for dinner at a restaurant, and the waiter asked me, βDo you want to hear todayβs special?β
I said, βYes please.β
Waiter: βNo problem sir. Today is special.β
Edit: You guys are way too generous. Thank you.
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︎ Sep 13 2020
I seen my father pouring chicken soup over his compost yesterday
I suppose chicken soup IS good for the soil
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︎ Jul 20 2020
Whatβs the opposite of soup?
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︎ Jul 09 2020
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︎ Jul 11 2020
A waitress asked me: βSoup or salad?β
I said just a regular salad would be fine
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︎ Jul 13 2020
I once knew a priest that only ate microwave soup.
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︎ Jul 28 2020
A friend suggested I added herbs to my soup.
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︎ Jun 25 2020
I have a can of soup. CAN I open it
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︎ Jun 09 2020
What do dragons like with their soup?
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︎ Jul 08 2020
What do you call a bowl of soup held upside down?
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︎ Jul 24 2020
A news report claims terrorists have begun putting explosives inside cans of Alphabetti Soup.
If one goes off it could spell disaster.
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︎ Jul 09 2020
Whatβs the difference between mashed potatoes and pea soup?
Anyone can mash potatoes.
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︎ Apr 12 2020
What's the difference between roast-beef and pea-soup?
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︎ Jun 24 2020
Soup
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︎ Feb 28 2020
Best soup to make with your dog?
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︎ Apr 09 2020
I o, let's go, make soup
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︎ May 09 2020
Someone told me that getting older is like making a soup and continually adding more spices in as you age.
I guess that explains why all these old folks are so salty.
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︎ May 21 2020
Soup
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︎ May 25 2019
Want Soup?
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︎ Nov 22 2019
Just been to Noel and Liam Gallaghers new restaurant and had Oasis soup
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︎ Apr 12 2020
What do you call soup traveling at the speed of light
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︎ Apr 11 2020
How much do dumplings weigh?
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︎ May 30 2020
I bet my wife I could form a full sentence out of the noodles in my alphabet soup
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︎ Apr 03 2020
What do you call a negative can of soup?
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︎ Feb 07 2020
Some say my soup is too thick and I'm too pessimistic
I just don't put a lot of stock in soup.
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︎ Mar 23 2020
I told my Granddaughter be careful with that Chinese take out soup itβs heavy-
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︎ Mar 21 2020
What happens when you eat too much alphabet soup?
You have a vowel movement.
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︎ Jan 16 2020
My wife decided to put a bunch of leftover chicken bones in the crockpot so we can make a lot of soup at home as this thing drags on
When it was done she said "we're all stocked up!"
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︎ Mar 30 2020
What do you call a soup fit for Vietnamese royalty?
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︎ Mar 07 2020
Grandpa: Who would eat Beetroot Soup Cookies?
Me: Gramps, it says Butternut Snap Cookie
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︎ Feb 12 2020
A man orders soup at a restaurant
He orders turtle soup, the waiter takes his order and starts to walk off. The main suddenly sees his favourite pea soup and calls back the waiter. The man says "Waiter im terrible sorry but would you mind holding the turtle and make it pea?"
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︎ Mar 15 2020
I made 10 gallons of a base for chicken soup.
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︎ Feb 17 2020
I just threw up a bunch of alphabet soup
I think I may have Smith-Corona virus
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︎ Feb 24 2020
Makes a mean turtle soup
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︎ Dec 14 2019
My family and I got wonton soup but we needed one more,
so now we have twoton soup.
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︎ Jan 14 2020
How did the jeweler make soup
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︎ Jan 19 2020
I ordered 2000lbs of Chinese soup
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︎ Oct 16 2019
Where does the food go at the all male soup kitchen?
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︎ Jan 26 2020
My mother likes to tell people when I was little that I told her I loved her alphabet soup.
I didnβt, she just likes putting words in my mouth.
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︎ Jan 01 2020
ew, this soup is the borscht
this soup is the worst
(jk borscht is the best. we have a generational recipe for it. I am ashamed of myself for even posting this and my ancestors shame me from the heavens)
haha I'll see you guys next time
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︎ Nov 23 2019
My Alphabet soup took a poop the other day
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︎ Jan 23 2020
People who are afraid of strong preferences for Vietnamese soups have...
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︎ Jan 16 2020
Do you know what kind of stock to use when making neotropical near-passerine bird soup?
Doesnt matter, as long as you put Toucans in
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︎ Jan 09 2020
I'm sick of this sub
I should have gone with the soup.
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︎ Sep 13 2020
What's brown and rhymes with Snoop
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︎ Jul 11 2020
When I eat alphabet soup I only eat the A E I O U (and sometimes Y) out of it
So later I can have a nice big vowel movement.
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Affectionately,
Dad
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︎ Dec 05 2019
Thereβs a room with two tables and ten people. One table has soup, and the other table has a punch bowl. All ten people are lined up at the soup table.
Nowβs when you ask: whereβs the punchline?
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︎ Nov 24 2019
For Christmas dinner, we all had a bowl of alphabet soup.
Unfortunately, in my soup, there was Noel.
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︎ Dec 25 2019
I really like soup du jour
Except it tastes different everywhere I go.
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︎ Nov 27 2019
My son said that he didnt like alphabet soups
So I prepared him a times new ramen.
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︎ Jul 20 2019
Liam Gallagher argued that soup was the best value meal you could get, because
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︎ Dec 22 2019
Today, at lunch, my wife almost threw out her leftover wonton soup.
I immediately stopped her and asked for a to go container. I wonβt stand by and allow acts of wonton destruction.
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︎ Oct 30 2019
Every time we went somewhere to eat, my father would close the menu and say, βIβll take a turtle soup...
and make it snappyβ.
I hated eating anywhere with him, now I think itβs funny. Help, Iβm turning into my father.
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︎ Mar 11 2018
Wonton soup
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︎ Dec 13 2019
I just ate 2000 pounds of Chinese soup
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︎ Apr 09 2019
What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup?
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︎ Sep 05 2020
Do you know the difference between roast beef and pea soup?
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︎ Sep 12 2020
When I was little, my parents always fed me alphabet soup, claiming that I liked it, but they were just...
...putting words in my mouth.
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︎ Aug 02 2020
How do you turn soup into gold?
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︎ May 12 2020
What's the difference between mashed potatoes and pea soup?
Anyone can mash potatoes...
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︎ Mar 24 2020
Whatβs the difference between roast beef and pea soup?
Anyone can learn to roast beef.
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︎ Oct 14 2019
Whatβs the opposite of soup?
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︎ Jan 17 2020
You need exactly 239 beans to make Irish soup because if you add one more it becomes too farty.
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︎ Oct 25 2019
Have you heard what Japan have instead of alphabet soup?
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︎ Dec 31 2019
Why do the Irish only put 239 beans in their soup?
Because one more and it'll be too-farty
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︎ Jan 22 2020
In memory of my Dad, hereβs his favorite joke: Whats the difference between roast beef and pea soup?
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︎ Jun 17 2018
I'm sure you've heard of alphabet soup. Now get ready for..
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︎ Sep 14 2019
Alphabet Soup is great an all..
But, I prefer Times New Ramen.
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︎ Dec 13 2019
Waiter: your soup Me: no I'm not
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︎ Nov 17 2019
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