Soup Kitchen Puns

All I said was hurry up some of us have homes to go to...

Indigents

I'm the new soup advisor

It should be named David Lee Broth

...a dining set would be chair-i-table.

Now they are in the kitchen making dinner. My husband pulls a box of Uncle Ben's out of the pantry and then grabs a soup ladle off the counter and is now dancing around singing,

laaadle riiiiiiice ladle rice

I walk down to the kitchen while my dad is microwaving some soup for lunch.

He says to me "This soup is heavy." I say "What?" "My soup, it's heavy!" "Why?" I said "It's Wonton soup."

And then I put my head in my hands as I walk away while he laughs.

My dad saw me about to make some chicken noodle soup. Knowing I wasn't feeling well he offered to make it for me instead. I accepted his offer and sat down on the couch. Once it was done, my dad hands me a bowl of the hot soup and extends a spoon towards me. I look at the spoon but notice as I'm about to grab it, it's one of those strainer spoons, the big ones with the holes in it. I give him a dumbfounded look, and he proceeds to bust out laughing as he takes a normal spoon out from behind his back, hands it to me, and walks back to the kitchen chuckling to himself the whole way. Gotta love that guy.

My mother and sister were in the kitchen talking about the menu of a local restaurant.

Mom: "I wonder what kind of soup I should get..."

Sister: "I heard their bean soup was pretty good..."

My father was in another part of the house and, as if he was overcome by a spidey-sense like tingling for a dadjoke opportunity, came running down the stairs into the kitchen and said:

Dad: "I don't care what it's 'been' what is it now!"

They groaned while he and I chuckled.

I was volunteering at a soup kitchen with a friend of mine when she randomly started asking about the zoo being open.

Me: I think they're open, they usually always are.
Her: I've really been wanting to visit, do you want to go?
Me: Today?
Her: No to the zoo.

She then proceeded to laugh for five minutes straight.