I could hardly carry my salad plate the other day.

It was very cucumbersome.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/knowses
๐Ÿ“…︎ Feb 11 2015
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A real life dad joke.

My wife was dishing out food. She put some salad on a plate and handed it to my daughter.

Then my wife looked at me and said, "Cesar Salad?"

I immediately grabbed my daughter's plate and pulled it out of her hands. My daughter got confused (maybe wondering if she did something wrong?). My wife asks me, "What the hell are you doing???"

I responded, "Sorry. Could have sworn you just said seize her salad."

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/zamundan
๐Ÿ“…︎ Feb 09 2021
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A man takes his wife to an unusual restaurant where you must stand in separate lines for each food item ...

As they sit down, the husband offers to go get their dinner. First he waits in line for the roast beef. Then he waits in the line for the potatoes. He he waits in the vegetable line, the bread line, the salad line, and even the gravy line.

He finally returns to the table with two heaping plates of food. โ€œWhat would you like to drink?โ€ he asks.

โ€œA glass of punch would be nice,โ€ she says. So off he goes to get it. He finds a line for wine, a line for beer, a line for soda, a line for milk, even a line for water. After considering all of his options he gives up and returns to the table empty-handed.

Sometimes there is no punch line.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Curmudgeon1836
๐Ÿ“…︎ Sep 26 2019
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Wife got me the other night

Wife hands me dinner, a salad with some pieces of chicken on it. Wife: "Didn't know which pieces you wanted so I just winged it" I look down and see the two wings of the chicken on my plate....

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/drolicheck
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jul 09 2015
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