Saw pile of dirty dishes and my teen buried in her phone…
Hey, if you have time to TEEN, you have time to clean!
She was horrified, but wife was amused. Win win.
I told my wife if she cleans and does the dishes I’ll sweep the whole house. She thinks that isn’t fair...
Just because I bought a Roomba
What kind of exercise do dishes do?
There’s something wrong with my dishes...
...I think they’re out of sink
I wanted to do the dishes and wasn’t sure where I put the dish soap.
I don't mind foreign dishes, for example we ate some halal food last week
I think they called it Allah carte
My wife told me it's too dangerous to put away dishes in the dark
I said "it's a whisk I'm willing to take"
Knock knock. Who's there? Dishes. Dishes who?
Dishes Sean Connery.
(RIP)
I cook my food by myself, wash my dishes by myself, and tidy my house myself.
One can say that I am 'self-maid'
If my bookcase realizes it wants to store dishes instead of books, it has reached shelf actualization.
How do dishes work together so well?
My family was doing the dinner dishes together and our mum was washing the dishes in the sink. She asked “could you guys load the dishwasher please?”
So my dad brought her a glass of wine.
How does every joke start after you've finished doing the dishes?
looks over both shoulders
My wife uses a whole bottle of dishwasher every time she washes the dishes at night.
Another day, another Dawn.
Just yesterday, daughter was arguing over dishes.
I told her she didn't have to open that can of worms, and we wouldn't be trying to de-bait now.
I walked away laughing, and daughter face palming.
Don't ever have multiple people wash dishes together.
It's difficult for them to stay in sink.
My friend told me if I want to get out of doing the dishes, try dropping some of them. I tried it, it didn't work.
But then during babysitting.
I’ve been working on a passion project called ‘The Dirtiest Dishes’
I keep being awakened by dreams of Indian dishes that use a complex combination of spices or herbs, usually including ground turmeric, cumin, coriander, ginger, and fresh or dried chilies...
It's a re-curry-ing nightmare.
Where does the devil do his dishes?
What do you call the burnout experienced 3/4’s of the way through hand-washing a particularly large load of dishes?
Post-Traumatic Stress Dishorder.
I was washing the dishes today and got so frustrated I screamed into a collander.
I think I strained my voice.
I tried to burn my friend a new arsehole by slipping chili peppers into his food, but things didn't go as planned when he switched dishes on me.
Here's the latest episode of a competitive pun gameshow that I host, 'Punnit'. Where 3 contestants deliver their best pre-written pun to categories such as Board Games & Kitchen Utensils, Pokemon & Takeaway Dishes + more.
youtube.com/watch?v=sjQg5…
Why did the sailor wash the dishes in his boat?
For Internet points, I will re-post any and all pictures of Indian dishes
I recently overheard my dad washing the dishes. He repeatedly pushed a fork under water while saying:
"WHO DO YOU FORK FOR? WHAT'S YOUR PLATE?"
Dear punners, my biology class has to decorate our door. We will make a bunch of snowglobes out of petri dishes. But i need Pun! Help?
What is it called when dishes get sick?
My daughter was just complaining about washing dishes by hand
I told her, “well... it’s better than washing them by foot.”
I was washing my dishes and my wife asked if I could wash some extras that she put there.
I'm avoiding it by fleeing to a non-extradish'n country.
Dishes
how I talk shince I losht my teef.
I was doing the dishes then SpongeBob came on.
Now the house is soaking wet!
My girlfriend and I had a race to see who could clean their dishes faster but it was so close
I was putting away the dishes from out of the dishwasher
And came upon the tupperware and asked my son "Tupperware? Oh tupper here." as I put them in the cabinet.
What owl is commonly found drying the dishes?
I'm usually not one to complain about my wife, but so far I have done dishes every day this year, while she hasn't done any.
I got my daughter while she watching me do the dishes
She saw me washing a whisk and asked if it was my whisk. I said yes, and she asked if the other one was mama's whisk. I said, "Well, we share all the whisks - and the wewards!"
My wife just shook her head at me.
Told my dad I would do the dishes when I got around to it
Knock knock. Who’s there? Dishes.
Dishes who?
(wait for it)
Dishes Sean Connery.
Don't ever have multiple people wash dishes together.
It's hard for them to stay in sink.
Every time I wash the dishes at night after dinner, I use a whole bottle of dishwashing liquid.
Another day, another Dawn.
Knock knock. Who's there? Dishes. Dishes who?
Knock knock.. whos there.. dishes...dishes who?
Don't ever have multiple people wash dishes together.
It's hard for them to stay in sink.
Knock knock (who’s there) Dishes (dishes who)
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