In Quebec, there's a popular dish with french fries, cheese curds and brown gravy.

Seriously, I'm not poutine you on.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/billbixbyakahulk
πŸ“…︎ May 21 2021
🚨︎ report
What do a boy band and a dish sponge have in common?

Both are in sink(NSYNC)

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RigidRat
πŸ“…︎ May 19 2021
🚨︎ report
I told my wife if she cleans and does the dishes I’ll sweep the whole house. She thinks that isn’t fair...

Just because I bought a Roomba

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πŸ‘€︎ u/snoandsk88
πŸ“…︎ May 27 2021
🚨︎ report
What kind of exercise do dishes do?

Pilates

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Minnieme2011
πŸ“…︎ May 18 2021
🚨︎ report
There’s something wrong with my dishes...

...I think they’re out of sink

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/elko
πŸ“…︎ Apr 11 2021
🚨︎ report
In coal country there was a highly-regarded regional dish made from the community’s table scraps.

You can’t make it legally anymore though. A judge ruled that all the people supplying food were contributing to the delicacy of a miner.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jester57
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30 2021
🚨︎ report
Justice is a dish best served cold...

If it were served warm it would be justwater.

πŸ‘︎ 220
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tinnber
πŸ“…︎ Feb 09 2021
🚨︎ report
I wanted to do the dishes and wasn’t sure where I put the dish soap.

Then it Dawned on me.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/reedandsue
πŸ“…︎ Apr 19 2021
🚨︎ report
I was surprised at first that the national dish of Tanzania was pasta

, but I'm not one to question it, and I can't deny it was great Serenghetti.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MarcusWigs
πŸ“…︎ Apr 18 2021
🚨︎ report
What do you call a spicy green dish made on Sesame Street in India?

Curry the frog.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ“…︎ Feb 20 2021
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I don't mind foreign dishes, for example we ate some halal food last week

I think they called it Allah carte

πŸ‘︎ 37
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ledgerdemaine
πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2020
🚨︎ report
Inmates at HMP Manchester are refusing to eat the Moroccan spiced chicken dish they're given every Friday, claiming it is being used to secretly medicate them with aggression-suppressants hidden in the sauce.

That sounds to me like one of those cons' piri piri theories.

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πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2021
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What do you call it when you have to quickly eat a beef dish wrapped in pastry crust?

A brief Wellington

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Giraffaery
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2020
🚨︎ report
What is the dish that likes using the light switch?

StrogONOFF

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Saazkwat
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07 2021
🚨︎ report
I guess the justice was served that day..
πŸ‘︎ 61
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πŸ‘€︎ u/freakynit
πŸ“…︎ May 22 2021
🚨︎ report
I made a dish that combines alphabet soup with a laxative.

I call it Letter Rip.

πŸ‘︎ 34
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MelkorHimself
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2020
🚨︎ report
My wife asked if I could clear the kitchen table.

I had to get a running start but I made it.

πŸ‘︎ 395
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PensionNo8124
πŸ“…︎ May 02 2021
🚨︎ report
Dinner side dish

My friend invited me over for dinner and told me I had to try his mom's world renowned bacon fat fried okra. After we ate I didn't have the heart to tell him it was just mediocre.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/GPJoe
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2020
🚨︎ report
My wife told me it's too dangerous to put away dishes in the dark

I said "it's a whisk I'm willing to take"

πŸ‘︎ 38
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BrightHausJon
πŸ“…︎ Aug 25 2020
🚨︎ report
Knock knock. Who's there? Dishes. Dishes who?

Dishes Sean Connery.

(RIP)

πŸ‘︎ 38
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GoodChadAndUgly
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2020
🚨︎ report
What's the difference between Gordon Ramsay's favorite dish and a slow-running computer?

One is a rack of lamb, the other is a lack of RAM.

πŸ‘︎ 37
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πŸ‘€︎ u/icemage27
πŸ“…︎ Oct 05 2020
🚨︎ report
When do you add herbs to your dish?

When it’s thyme

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TiesG92
πŸ“…︎ Dec 08 2020
🚨︎ report
Scientists have grown vocal chords in a Petrie dish

The results speak for themselves

πŸ‘︎ 47
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheFishmanau
πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2020
🚨︎ report
What are cats favorite side dish for indian food?

~Nyaan~ bread

πŸ˜‚

Ill see myself out now πŸ˜…

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sanguis_Luppi
πŸ“…︎ Sep 05 2020
🚨︎ report
What is the national dish of Sweden?

Swedish

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/equiinferno
πŸ“…︎ Sep 17 2020
🚨︎ report
Which dish knows karate

Kung Pow Chick

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AshamedTurtwig
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2020
🚨︎ report
I cook my food by myself, wash my dishes by myself, and tidy my house myself.

One can say that I am 'self-maid'

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Zilver-alpha
πŸ“…︎ Nov 08 2020
🚨︎ report
I lost a cooking challenge once for not completing the dish.

I ran out of thyme.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RedShirtCashion
πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2020
🚨︎ report
Some people were arguing about the most important part of a kitchen.

"The sink is the most important! It's where you get water for cooking, wash your hands, clean fruits and vegetables, and clean the dishes up afterwards."

But another person said,

"The countertop is even more important. It's where the food is prepared. And if the counter weren't there, you wouldn't have a sink at all!"

The first person was shocked. They weren't expecting a counterargument.

πŸ‘︎ 191
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TabCompletion
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26 2021
🚨︎ report
If my bookcase realizes it wants to store dishes instead of books, it has reached shelf actualization.
πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/huxley0721
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28 2020
🚨︎ report
My wife asked, β€œHoney, could you reach that dish on the top shelf? It’s too high for me.”

It was a challenge, but I stepped up to the plate.

πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ‘€︎ u/zedhead0628
πŸ“…︎ Aug 08 2020
🚨︎ report
How do dishes work together so well?

They SINKchronize!

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Spoopy_Girl
πŸ“…︎ Jul 19 2020
🚨︎ report
He can dish it out, but he can't take it πŸ˜‚
πŸ‘︎ 172
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mortilsola
πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2019
🚨︎ report
My family was doing the dinner dishes together and our mum was washing the dishes in the sink. She asked β€œcould you guys load the dishwasher please?”

So my dad brought her a glass of wine.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mossata
πŸ“…︎ Sep 10 2020
🚨︎ report
How does every joke start after you've finished doing the dishes?

looks over both shoulders

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LinkedAg
πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2020
🚨︎ report
Just yesterday, daughter was arguing over dishes.

I told her she didn't have to open that can of worms, and we wouldn't be trying to de-bait now.

I walked away laughing, and daughter face palming.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Goalie_deacon
πŸ“…︎ Aug 25 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the new restaurant for satellites?

It has everyone's favorite dish.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/qcjustin
πŸ“…︎ May 17 2021
🚨︎ report
My wife uses a whole bottle of dishwasher every time she washes the dishes at night.

Another day, another Dawn.

πŸ‘︎ 51
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Mar 07 2020
🚨︎ report
Should put some blood in a petrie dish for testing XD
πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Yugvijay
πŸ“…︎ Jul 18 2018
🚨︎ report
Justice is a dish best served cold

If it were served warm it would be justwater.

πŸ‘︎ 13k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VVIIVVI
πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2020
🚨︎ report
Justice is a dish best served cold ....

If it were served warm, it would be just water .

πŸ‘︎ 35
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Feb 22 2021
🚨︎ report
Justice is a dish best served cold

Because if it were served warm it would be justwater

πŸ‘︎ 14k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/onion-volcano
πŸ“…︎ Jul 08 2020
🚨︎ report
Justice is a dish best served cold, if it were served warm jt would be justwater.
πŸ‘︎ 12k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/domadomdom
πŸ“…︎ Jun 26 2019
🚨︎ report
Knock knock. Who’s there? Dishes.

Dishes who?

(wait for it)

Dishes Sean Connery.

πŸ‘︎ 52
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πŸ“…︎ Jul 10 2020
🚨︎ report
If justice is a dish best served cold, then what is it served hot?

Juststeam

πŸ‘︎ 74
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tehmayormccheese
πŸ“…︎ Aug 18 2020
🚨︎ report
Justice is a dish best served cold.

Otherwise it would be justwater.

πŸ‘︎ 85
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πŸ‘€︎ u/robindc_93
πŸ“…︎ Apr 28 2020
🚨︎ report
Scientists have successfully grown human vocal chords in a petri dish.

The results speak for themselves

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AustralianGroan
πŸ“…︎ Jun 14 2020
🚨︎ report

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