... encore faut-il que ce soit la sienne !
Still can't believe Gav is gone.
I just wish it wasn't sa far, eh.
It does Sas-squats.
That doesn't make any cents!
Pass the bread.
Naboolean Logic
1:44, because itβsa gross
...turns out it was saTire
Grate, now what am I supposed to do?
(Happened when I was trying to prepare a grilled cheese for my daughter's lunch)
A man is driving down the road and his car breaks down near a monastery. He goes to the monastery, knocks on the door, and says, "My car broke down. Do you think I could stay the night?"The monks graciously accept him, feed him dinner, even fix his car. As the man tries to fall asleep, he hears a strange sound. A sound unlike anything he's ever heard before. The Sirens that nearly seduced Odysseus into crashing his ship comes to his mind. He doesn't sleep that night. He tosses and turns trying to figure out what could possibly be making such a seductive sound.The next morning, he asks the monks what the sound was, but they say, "We can't tell you. You're not a monk." Distraught, the man is forced to leave.Years later, after never being able to forget that sound, the man goes back to the monastery and pleads for the answer again.The monks reply, "We can't tell you. You're not a monk."The man sa,ys, "If the only way I can find out what is making that beautiful sound is to become a monk, then please, make me a monk."The monks reply, "You must travel the earth and tell us how many blades of grass there are and the exact number of grains of sand. When you find these answers, you will have become a monk."The man sets about his task. After years of searching he returns as a gray-haired old man and knocks on the door of the monastery. A monk answers. He is taken before a gathering of all the monks."In my quest to find what makes that beautiful sound, I traveled the earth and have found what you asked for: By design, the world is in a state of perpetual change. Only God knows what you ask. All a man can know is himself, and only then if he is honest and reflective and willing to strip away self deception."The monks reply, "Congratulations. You have become a monk. We shall now show you the way to the mystery of the sacred sound."The monks lead the man to a wooden door, where the head monk says, "The sound is beyond that door."The monks give him the key, and he opens the door. Behind the wooden door is another door made of stone. The man is given the key to the stone door and he opens it, only to find a door made of ruby. And so it went that he needed keys to doors of emerald, pearl and diamond.Finally, they come to a door made of solid gold. The sound has become very clear and definite. The monks say, "This is the last key to the last door."The man is apprehensive to no end. His life's wish is behind that door!With trembling hands, he unlocks the door, turns the kno
... keep reading on reddit β‘https://imgur.com/a/saY2r
So my dad and I are talking one night during dinner and I let slip that my nickname in school is tangent. Then the following ensues Dad : Oh really? Well do you know who Satan's cousin is? Me : No. Dad : SaCOSINE! Me : Wait.... NOOOOO DAD NO.
He continued laughing hysterically for a good 10 minutes after.
Well played dad. Well played.
Just don't use any of these pickup lines around your wives.
A Sas-squash.
Before I start; a golden gaytime is an ice cream that's pretty big in Australia.
So we went to the servo to get an ice cream. We were having a look when my cousin says "Hmm, I think I might have a Gaytime", to which I replied "Well when you're done just buy an ice cream and meet us at home."
"I have the option to take the S.A.T.s without an essay."
"How do you do the S.A.T.'s without an SA."
Boss [9:10 AM] Sorry - missed everything yesterday. Apparently my Slack was frozen...
Me [9:24 AM] We just figured you were... slacking. YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! https://media.giphy.com/media/v9rfTQBNqdsSA/giphy.gif
My daughter just text'd me this:
Smart Ass "Why did the chicken cross the road?"
Gullible Loser "Why?"
SA "To get to the idiot's house."
GL "heh, that was horrible".
Fast forward 5 minutes
SA "Knock Knock"
GL "Who's there"
SA "The chicken"
GL "The chicken who....wait, I see what's coming".
She is so getting flogged when I get home!
It was suggested r/dadjokes would love this: http://imgur.com/a/tgSaM
Yes, My husband is an actual dad and this is only a fraction of his work ; he's been doing it since we started dating in 2001.
A sa-bat-ical
My mom said she was making Indian food tonight, including naan. I asked if she had all the "naan-essentials." She made an angry noise. "Sorry," I said, "was that a naan-sequitor?"
My dad happened to walk in just then. "Punish him!" my mom said to him.
"What? Why?"
"He keeps making puns!" My dad paused for a moment.
"Sounds like he's the one pun-ishing you."
Brother: you know what's good about his neck?
Me: what?
Brother: he doesn't have to eat much.
Me: why is that?
Brother: because a little goes a long way.
I also asked him who this strange vigilante was in the horse's place.
what I was referring to. https://www.google.com/search?q=horse+fly+mask&espv=2&biw=1280&bih=675&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=0CAcQ_AUoAmoVChMI_bfNyfPuxgIVgYsNCh1dFQxM
