My neighbor got hit by a rental car.

He said it Hertz.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FlintTheDad
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
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My freind: no body cares about car rental company jokes

Me: well that Hertz :’(

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πŸ‘€︎ u/my-pp-el-fuego
πŸ“…︎ Sep 15 2020
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Rick Astley rents the movie Up from the rental store, 3 weeks later he gets a call from the rental store employees saying that his rental is 3 weeks overdue, what does Rick Astley say?

Never gonna give you Up!

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πŸ“…︎ Jul 08 2020
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My daughter wanted a bouncy castle for her birthday. The guy said the rental was $50, and the set-up fee was $1000 dollars.

I said, β€œThat’s outrageous!”

He just shrugged and said, β€œThat’s inflation for you.”

πŸ‘︎ 10k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hughdman
πŸ“…︎ Oct 04 2018
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The new Uterus Rental service...

Wombs-To-Go

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Just_Make_It
πŸ“…︎ Apr 27 2020
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I heard that Beethoven once wrote a song about a website that lets you submit rental applications online.

He called it "fΓΌr e-lease”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ryosen
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2019
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What happens when u have an accident with a rental car?

It Hertz

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dubaidadjokes
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17 2020
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The Mad Hatter and the Queen of Hearts had a rental agreement

A lease in Wonderland

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kippekok
πŸ“…︎ Aug 04 2019
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My foot was run over by a rental car

Hertz

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AndrewMacSydney
πŸ“…︎ Mar 10 2019
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Rental Cars

Don't hit rental cars. It really hertz them.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Harishan64
πŸ“…︎ Sep 01 2018
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My rental car is making a really high pitched noise.

It Hertz

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PM_UR_MACHINING
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16 2018
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The noodles that rented out my rental house were no problem at all.

I guess you could say they were low mein tentants.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Danielaurence
πŸ“…︎ Jun 05 2019
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Did you hear about the car rental business that was just convicted of a crime?

It was a criminal Enterprise

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MisterThog
πŸ“…︎ Sep 28 2018
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What do you call a dispensary and psychiatrist sharing rental space ?

Chronic Issues.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Failedcasserole
πŸ“…︎ Aug 13 2018
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When you're trying to book a vacation rental for you dad, but it's May the 4th.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/NormalBellCurve
πŸ“…︎ May 04 2017
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When you're discussing vacation rentals on May the 4th with your dad
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πŸ‘€︎ u/NormalBellCurve
πŸ“…︎ May 04 2017
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I clean rental cars at the airport...

...so that tourists can have a clean getaway.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/seekunrustlement
πŸ“…︎ Jul 24 2013
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So, my dad's driving a rental car...

Normally, my dad drives a more luxurious car, but he's rented some model of Toyota since one of the tires on his car is blown out. My brother and I are sitting in the back and as he's fiddling with the buttons, my brother says,

"Hey, dad, where are the buttons for the heated seats?"

To which my father sharply replies, "They're in the Jaguar."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/QuiteRadical
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03 2014
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Whenever we got a rental car from Hertz at the airport.

Dad: You kids ever had a donut from this place?

Us: No?

Dad says, "well I've got one right here for ya" and proceeds to playfully punch us in the arm while saying "hurts, don't it"?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DryhumpsMcgee
πŸ“…︎ Aug 05 2013
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My father just got hit by a rental car

Said everything Hertz

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πŸ‘€︎ u/weiderman316
πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2020
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What did the car rental owner said when the pandemic hit?

That Hertz.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/nukey56
πŸ“…︎ Apr 05 2020
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I got hit by a rental car

It Hertz

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ohsureyoudo
πŸ“…︎ Apr 02 2018
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I got hit by a rental car...

It still HERTZ.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/vivekmanunited
πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2017
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I got hit with a rental car...

It Hertz.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SerbianTarHeel
πŸ“…︎ Mar 06 2018
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