Rick Astley rents the movie Up from the rental store, 3 weeks later he gets a call from the rental store employees saying that his rental is 3 weeks overdue, what does Rick Astley say?

Never gonna give you Up!

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πŸ“…︎ Jul 08 2020
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What did the car rental owner said when the pandemic hit?

That Hertz.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/nukey56
πŸ“…︎ Apr 05 2020
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My daughter wanted a bouncy castle for her birthday. The guy said the rental was $50, and the set-up fee was $1000 dollars.

I said, β€œThat’s outrageous!”

He just shrugged and said, β€œThat’s inflation for you.”

πŸ‘︎ 10k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hughdman
πŸ“…︎ Oct 04 2018
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The new Uterus Rental service...

Wombs-To-Go

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Just_Make_It
πŸ“…︎ Apr 27 2020
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The Mad Hatter and the Queen of Hearts had a rental agreement

A lease in Wonderland

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kippekok
πŸ“…︎ Aug 04 2019
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The noodles that rented out my rental house were no problem at all.

I guess you could say they were low mein tentants.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Danielaurence
πŸ“…︎ Jun 05 2019
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Did you hear about the car rental business that was just convicted of a crime?

It was a criminal Enterprise

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MisterThog
πŸ“…︎ Sep 28 2018
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When you're trying to book a vacation rental for you dad, but it's May the 4th.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/NormalBellCurve
πŸ“…︎ May 04 2017
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When you're discussing vacation rentals on May the 4th with your dad
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πŸ‘€︎ u/NormalBellCurve
πŸ“…︎ May 04 2017
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I clean rental cars at the airport...

...so that tourists can have a clean getaway.

πŸ‘︎ 44
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πŸ‘€︎ u/seekunrustlement
πŸ“…︎ Jul 24 2013
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Whenever we got a rental car from Hertz at the airport.

Dad: You kids ever had a donut from this place?

Us: No?

Dad says, "well I've got one right here for ya" and proceeds to playfully punch us in the arm while saying "hurts, don't it"?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DryhumpsMcgee
πŸ“…︎ Aug 05 2013
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Help!! Creative Minds Needed!!

My Dad has recently shown a fascination with space and NASA. Long story short, Christmas is coming up and my plan is to surprise him with an all expense paid trip to Florida for 4 days with passes to the Kennedy Space Center. I’d schedule it around a launch so he would be able to see it in person. As well as checking out the area a bit since we’re there.

Which is where I need your help! I want to coordinate hints with presents that slightly hint at the trip. For example, I picked out a NASA tshirt, a space shuttle plush toy, assorted astronaut ice cream, socks that have planets and a rocket on them, mug that says β€œcoolest dad in the galaxy,” a map/atlas of florida, and luggage tags. And the final gift I’m thinking will be a letter that puts all the clues together and would include the plane tickets, car rental agreement, hotel confirmation, and the admission tickets in an envelope.

Can anyone give me ideas on what hints to use??

  • I’m still adding/taking away present ideas so if anyone has any better ideas please let me know!!

Thank you so much!! Any type of help is appreciated!! I don’t really have that β€œcreative” part of the mind... whether it be a rhyme or dad joke-y type hint, it doesn’t matter!

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πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2020
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A guy asks a girl to go to a dance.

She agrees, and he decides to rent a suit. The rental has a long line, so he waits and waits, and finally, he gets his suit. HeΒ decides to buy flowers, so he goesΒ to the flower shop. The flower shopΒ has a long line, so he waits and waits, untilΒ he finally buys flowers. He picks up the girlΒ and they go to the dance. There is a long lineΒ into the dance, so they wait and wait. Finally,Β they get into the dance, and the guy offersΒ to get the girl a drink. She asks for punch,Β so he goes to the drink table, and there isΒ no punch line.

πŸ‘︎ 51
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LucianoMercuri__
πŸ“…︎ Jun 24 2020
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The punchline

A guy is taking his girlfriend to prom. He waits in the ticket line for a long time but he gets them. He goes to rent a limo. The rental line is really long but he eventually gets the limo. He goes to buy her flowers and the line at the florist is really long, but he eventually gets them. At prom, his girlfriend asks him to go get punch. He goes to the refreshment table and there is no punchline.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/trigger00006
πŸ“…︎ Jun 06 2020
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So a teenage boy asks a girl out to prom

He asks her out, and he needs to plan, so first, he needs his tuxedo.

So he goes to the tuxedo shop, and there's a huge line of people there, so he waits for 30 minutes, then an hour, and he finally gets his tuxedo.

Then, he needs to rent a limo, to look nice and formal and everything, so he walks into the limo rental shop, and again, there's a huge line, so he waits for 30 minutes and then an hour goes by, then 2, and he finally gets his limo.

On the night of the prom, he pulls up to her house with the limo, and she gets in, and on their way to the prom building, a huge traffic jam happens! So they wait, and then 30 minutes goes by, then an hour, and they finally arrive at the building!

So they walk in, take some pictures, and dance for a bit, and after a while, the girl asks, "hey can you get us some punch?"

So the boy walks over to the punch bowl and guess what?

There's no punchline.

πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/infinityglitches
πŸ“…︎ Apr 01 2019
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A teenage boy is getting ready to take his girlfriend to the prom...

....First he goes to rent a tux, but there’s a long tux line at the shop and it takes forever.

Next, he has to get some flowers, so he heads over to the florist and there’s a huge flower line there. He waits forever but eventually gets the flowers.

Then he heads out to rent a limo. Unfortunately, there’s a large limo line at the rental office, but he’s patient and gets the job done.

Finally, the day of the prom comes. The two are dancing happily and his girlfriend is having a great time. When the song is over, she asks him to get her some punch, so he heads over to the punch table and there’s no punchline.

πŸ‘︎ 12k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SledgeHog
πŸ“…︎ Apr 25 2018
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Texted my daughter's boyfriend to meet me and he dad joked me back.

Me: Meet me at Mo's Egg House at 8AM. The rental place opens at 9AM and we can get some breakfast. Boyfriend: I know eggsactly where that is.

It's nice to know if they get married and have kids my grandchildren will be in good hands.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/imdickie
πŸ“…︎ May 27 2017
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I got a date to prom.

I got a date to prom, so I went home to get ready only to relize that I was late. So I have to run down to the limo rental place. The line there was pretty long and after that, I hade to get flowers & chocolate. The line there was also pretty long. Then after that, I finally went to pick her up, she was pretty upset but forgived me and we arrived at our destination. I then got thirst and thank god there was no Punch Line.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Daxdax_Universe
πŸ“…︎ Apr 12 2019
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I think this belongs here

In a rental car full of people, the satellite radio has a cute doggo as an icon and one of my party asked what it was and I said it controls the sub woofers... Nobody laughed

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Geralt-of-Labia
πŸ“…︎ Jun 09 2019
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Young Billy Finally Lands a Date for the Prom

He really wants to impress her, so he decides to rent a tux. However, when he gets to the rental place, people are queued up out the door. He doesn't let this stop him, though. He takes his place in line and gets to waiting.

Finally, after waiting for over an hour, he gets fitted and pays for the rental. Relieved, he heads to the florist for a corsage, only to discover that the line there is also out the door, and halfway around the block, to boot!

Miffed, he mutters some mild obscenities, but he is determined to see this through, so he waits for almost 2 hours before finally being able to buy the flowers he picked out.

It's now the night of the dance, and he's ready to go. He picks her up, and they head to the event. When they arrive, his date immediately asks him if he can grab her a drink - she's absolutely parched! Still determined to make this the best night of her life, he dutifully makes his way to the other side of the venue, where he discovers, much to his surprise...

 

 

 

There's no punch line.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rolling_Man
πŸ“…︎ Sep 19 2018
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My dad got me pretty bad with this.

So one time there was this kid named Tim. Tim wanted to really wanted to go to the school prom with a girl named Janet. So one day, at school, he walked up to Janet and asked if she wanted to go.

She said yes!

So once she got home she told her mom. Her mom was very excited for her and called all of their family to share the news.

Then, that weekend, Janet and her mom went dress shopping. They looked and tried on several dresses until they found the right one. Janet tried that one on and was very happy.

Meanwhile, Tim needed a tuxedo. He looked online and found a great shop and put in an rental order.

The next week he came in and picked it up. On the way home he picked up a corsage. And once he got home, he ordered a limousine.

The day of Tim put on his tuxedo and grabbed the corsage just as the limo arrived to pick him up. Then the limo took him to Janet's house and her parents took a lot of pictures of the two of them.

Once their parents were finally done taking pictures, they left for the prom.

They bought their tickets and went inside and danced for a while.

And then, Janet asked Tim to get her something to drink. He went to find something, but there was no punch line!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/rymike
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03 2017
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A Surprisingly Clever Joke From My Dad

Back in the day of movie rentals we were at the Rental place. Before you could take out a new movie you had to pay off any late fees. We were at the cash when the following conversation happened:

Cashier: "You have a late fee for 'Seven Pounds'"

Dad: "Ok, what's that in Canadian?"

Took me a solid minute to realize the joke he had made.

πŸ‘︎ 27
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FrankinComesAlive
πŸ“…︎ Aug 17 2013
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Mum hit a deer last night, Dad says it was venicide.

Direct impact, so the front of the car is totaled and it can't be driven, but no air bags went off so everyone is okay. The morning has been long, lots of time on the phone since the vehicle in question was a rental. Can't say they won't remember their time in Alberta.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/meredithgillis
πŸ“…︎ May 19 2015
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Got her last night.

Just a taste of our future together:

Me and the fiancee were signing the rental agreement for our wedding venue, and she says, "Our date is October 1st, 2016. How does that sound to you?"

I respond, "I like it, it's got a ring to it!"

She went from confused to groaning in three seconds flat.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Nickosuave311
πŸ“…︎ Oct 09 2014
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My in-laws brought us a used couch from out of state

They were gonna use a trailer but their hitch set-up didn't have the right electronics for the trailer lights. They ended up just bringing the couch in the bed of a friend's truck. When they arrived I got my father-in-law with, "Too bad the trailer rental didn't work out, but at least you pulled it off without a hitch." He gave me a groan and pity chuckle.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Paul_Cinnabunyan
πŸ“…︎ Jun 27 2015
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My mom Dad Joked me today in the car.

My mom had to get a rental car while hers was in the shop. When we pulled into our driveway a notification popped up that read "Passenger Door Ajar." She said "Its not a jar its a door." Possibly one of the worst dad jokes ever?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DylMo
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2014
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The ultimate joke

A guy takes his girlfriend to prom. He waits in the ticket line for a really long time but gets them. He goes to rent a limo. the rental line is really long, but eventually he does it. He goes to buy her flowers, the line at the florist is really long but eventually he gets the flowers. At prom, she asks him to get punch. He goes to the refreshment table and there's no punchline.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ“…︎ Jan 03 2019
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A Nice Prom

A teenage boy is getting ready to take his girlfriend to the prom. First he goes to rent a tux, but there’s a long tux line at the shop and it takes forever. Next, he has to get some flowers, so he heads over to the florist and there’s a huge flower line there. He waits forever but eventually gets the flowers. Then he heads out to rent a limo. Unfortunately, there’s a large limo line at the rental office, but he’s patient and gets the job done. Finally, the day of the prom comes. The two are dancing happily and his girlfriend is having a great time. When the song is over, she asks him to get her some punch, so he heads over to the punch table and there’s no punchline.

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/StardustTurtle
πŸ“…︎ Sep 30 2018
🚨︎ report
My daughter wanted a bouncy castle for her birthday.

The rental was $50, and the set-up fee was $1000 dollars. That's inflation for you...

πŸ‘︎ 27
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πŸ‘€︎ u/savemoney2121
πŸ“…︎ Oct 16 2018
🚨︎ report
A young man is going to prom with his date...

A young man is going to prom with his date. He waits a long time in line for tickets, but he gets them. He goes to rent a limo. The rental line is very long, but he gets the limo. He goes to the florist to buy flowers, and he waits in line for an hour, but he gets the flowers. Finally, at prom, his date asks him to get some punch. He goes to the refreshment table, and there's no punchline.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jamez1469
πŸ“…︎ Jun 06 2018
🚨︎ report
A teenage boy is getting ready to take his girlfriend to the prom.

First he goes to rent a tux, but there's a long tux line at the shop and it takes forever.

Next, he has to get some flowers, so he heads over to the florist and there's a huge flower line there. He waits forever but eventually gets the flowers.

Then he heads out to rent a limo. Unfortunately, there's a large limo line at the rental office, but he's patient and gets the job done.

Finally, the day of the prom comes. The two are dancing happily and his girlfriend is having a great time. When the song is over, she asks him to get her some punch, so he heads over to the punch table and there's no punchline.

πŸ‘︎ 84
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cyburai
πŸ“…︎ Nov 08 2013
🚨︎ report
Prom

A boy is getting ready to take his girlfriend to the prom. First he goes to rent a tux, but there’s a long tux line at the shop and it takes forever.

Next, he has to get some flowers, so he heads over to the florist and there’s a huge flower line there. He waits forever but eventually gets the flowers.

Then he heads out to rent a limo. Unfortunately, there’s a large limo line at the rental office, but he’s patient and gets the job done.

Finally, the day of the prom comes. The two are dancing happily and his girlfriend is having a great time. When the song is over, she asks him to get her some punch, so he heads over to the punch table and there’s no punchline.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/leonlikethewind
πŸ“…︎ Jun 06 2018
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You won't see this one coming

A teenage boy is getting ready to take his girlfriend to the prom. First he goes to rent a tux, but there’s a long tux line at the shop and it takes forever.

Next, he has to get some flowers, so he heads over to the florist and there’s a huge flower line there. He waits forever but eventually gets the flowers.

Then he heads out to rent a limo. Unfortunately, there’s a large limo line at the rental office, but he’s patient and gets the job done.

Finally, the day of the prom comes. The two are dancing happily and his girlfriend is having a great time. When the song is over, she asks him to get her some punch, so he heads over to the punch table and there’s no punchline.

πŸ‘︎ 72
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mickig_
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2013
🚨︎ report

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