Alicia Keys should start a piano leasing service called β€œI’ll lease ya keys”
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πŸ“…︎ Jan 25 2019
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For lease Navidad
πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AligatorKS
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2020
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I needed help to lease out a math textbook.

So I got a cosiner.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Cimiclette
πŸ“…︎ May 20 2020
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Did you sell it for more? No, I sold it for lease.
πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TysonPlett
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2019
🚨︎ report
For lease

Na Vidad

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/invertedparadoxxx
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2019
🚨︎ report
Came out backwords / at a loss for words / just one big bowl of soup / proper punctuation: the colon / man,ure on a roll / just stirring the pot / poo-lease stop / can't. IOU potty humor / Y you say that? / It's fun, butt OK - mind my P's and Q's - I'll put lid on it
πŸ‘︎ 62
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πŸ‘€︎ u/barwhack
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05 2017
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What's a person with a single lease on their name called?

Monalisa

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/raid_it
πŸ“…︎ Feb 14 2019
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πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tichcl
πŸ“…︎ Mar 13 2018
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Anyone in here know of any places to lease around Toronto?

asking for a for rent

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ganders81
πŸ“…︎ May 30 2018
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Why do 9 ants get to live in an apartment for free?

Because they're not tenants

πŸ‘︎ 10k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/shopcounterbill
πŸ“…︎ Jul 03 2019
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OK here we go. Soap this gets to the front page...
πŸ‘︎ 16k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/electrocuter666
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2019
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I'd really like to get a whole new lease on life, but the intrest rate is just too steep now-a-days...
πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Weed_Whacker22
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2018
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How do you request for rented peas?

By saying "Pea-Lease"

(Thats if they rent peas)

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Badjuju_Gamer
πŸ“…︎ Jun 21 2020
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What is it called when someone rents a camp from the Boy Scouts for half a week?

A four de lease

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hfoste1380
πŸ“…︎ Jun 17 2020
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The person who leases stuff out is the lessor...

...which means someone who leases out Hitler and Stalin is the lessor of two evils.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/derleth
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27 2013
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I heard that Beethoven once wrote a song about a website that lets you submit rental applications online.

He called it "fΓΌr e-lease”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ryosen
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2019
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I paid a car dealership a monthly fee to drive a car for 2 years then after that I would return the car to the dealer...

It was the leased of my worries.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Nov 23 2019
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The Mad Hatter and the Queen of Hearts had a rental agreement

A lease in Wonderland

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kippekok
πŸ“…︎ Aug 04 2019
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Looking for a veteran to stand-in as my father for Christmas, compensation included.

For lease navy dad

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ“…︎ Jul 14 2019
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100 Paw-sitively Meow-nificent Cat Purr-ns Fur Mew to Use Whenev-fur Mew Need
  • Allow => A-meow
  • Apology => A-paw-logy
  • Appalling => A-paw-ling
  • Attitude => Cat-titude
  • Awesome => Paw-some / Claw-some
  • Awful => Claw-ful / Paw-ful
  • Because => Be-claws
  • Before => Be-fur
  • Bother => Bo-fur
  • Catastrophe => Cat-astrophe
  • Catastrophic => Cat-astrophic
  • Catch => Cat-ch
  • Clever => Claw-ver
  • Confusing => Con-fur-sing
  • Congratulations => Con-cat-ulations
  • Different => Dif-fur-rent
  • Disappearance => Disa-purr-ance
  • Familiar => Fur-miliar
  • Feeling => Feline
  • For => Fur
  • For real => Fur real
  • Forever => Fur-ever
  • Forget => Fur-get
  • Fortunate => Fur-tunate
  • Forward => Fur-ward
  • Friend => Fur-end
  • Furious => Fur-ious
  • Further => Fur-ther
  • Get or Got => Cat
  • Help me out => Help meow-t
  • History => Hiss-tory
  • Hysterical => Hiss-terical
  • Inferior => In-fur-ior
  • Kidding me => Kitten me
  • Konnichiwa => Konnichi-paw
  • Literally => Litter-ally
  • Literature => Litter-a-ture
  • Lost => Claw-st
  • Lying => Lion
  • Magnificent => Meow-nificent
  • Marvellous => Meow-velous
  • Minimum => Mew-nimum
  • Misery => Mew-sery
  • Moment => Mew-ment
  • Mountain => Meow-ntain
  • Move => Mew-v
  • Music => Mew-sic
  • Musician => Meow-sician
  • Never => Nev-fur
  • New => Mew
  • Now => Meow
  • Over => Ov-fur
  • Paper => Pay-purr
  • Pardon me => Paw-don me
  • Pause => Paws
  • Perfect => Purr-fect
  • Perhaps => Purr-haps
  • Permission => Purr-mission
  • Person => Purr-son
  • Personal => Purr-sonal
  • Persuasion => Purr-suasion
  • Places => Purr-laces
  • Please => Paw-lease
  • Portable => Paw-table
  • Positive => Paw-sitive
  • Possibility => Paw-sibility
  • Possibly => Paw-sibly
  • Precious => Purr-ecious
  • Prefer => Paw-fer
  • Preposterous => Pre-paw-sterous
  • Pretty => Purr-ty
  • Priceless => Purr-iceless
  • Prince => Purr-ince
  • Princess => Purr-incess
  • Puns => Purr-ns
  • Purpose => Purr-pose
  • Referring => Re-fur-ing
  • Respond => Res-paw-nd
  • Simple => Sim-paw-le
  • Suffer => Suf-fur
  • Superior => Su-purr-ior
  • Tale => Tail
  • Talent => Tail-ent
  • Tell => Tail
  • That’s all => Cat’s all
  • Unfortunate => Un-fur-tunate
  • Very => Furry
  • Whenever => Whene-fur
  • Wonderful => Won-fur-ful
  • You => Mew
  • Apologize => A-paw-logize
  • First => Furr-st
  • How are you? => Meow are mew?
  • Morning => Meowrning
  • Phon
... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/eyl327
πŸ“…︎ Feb 01 2017
🚨︎ report
Got my fiancΓ©e. She is still my fiancΓ©e, but it was close.

We were driving by a vacant building that used to be a McDonald's. It's been vacant a few months and now there's a big "For Lease" sign on the property.

Her: "Looks like they're having trouble renting the McDonald's."
Me: "Yeah, I heard they had to hire a big realty company."
Her: "Really?"
Me: "Yeah. Old McDonald's has a firm."

The wedding is still on.

πŸ‘︎ 46
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AdamHR
πŸ“…︎ Nov 23 2015
🚨︎ report
I had two pieces of toast for breakfast this morning...

Because I'm lactoast intolerant.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Slidshocking_Krow
πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2016
🚨︎ report
Dad joked a car salesman

Today I was at a Honda dealership finalizing a lease on my girlfriend's new car. The salesman was chatting us up and showed us a picture of his daughter. He says "This is my 2 year old daughter. Her name is Alexis". Without missing a beat I said "Alexis? Why didn't you name her a Honda?". Both the salesman and my girlfriend gave me the "oh no you didn't" look.

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/johnyapplsede
πŸ“…︎ Nov 07 2014
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GF moved in a month ago and yesterday she jokingly said we should break up...

Me: No, I think we should stay together until Sept. 1st. It's the lease we can do.

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πŸ“…︎ Oct 01 2014
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A: "Thanks for renting me this apartment!"

B: "It was the lease I could do."

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/k-smackerel
πŸ“…︎ Aug 22 2015
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Asked my dad to do a dad thing, got dadjoke.

Today I was sent a copy of a lease to sign for my first apartment. Naturally, I asked him to look it over and be sure that everything is in order. His reply?

"It's the lease I can do for you."

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Cousin_Deadbeat
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15 2014
🚨︎ report

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