I was planing on taking a shower at my hotel today...
...but apparently they bolt those things to the wall.
I was planing a camping holiday...
... but I have to say I'm far from impressed with my travel insurance. It turns out if someone steals my tent in the night I'll no longer be covered.
I went skydiving today for the first time. This guy strapped himself to me, we jumped out of the Plane and as we plummeted , he said:
"So , how long have you been an Instructor?"
I once took a trip to Seattle on a plane in which the stewards only served candy made when peanut butter meets milk chocolate...
I don't know how far this Reese eating airline goes...
Its lunchtime and the newcomer at my workplace is on a plane to India
Turnsout, someone told him that the nearby Delhi has the best sandwiches
I'm flying to Florida today. Best part about the plane is
To avoid Covid on my flight, they converted the whole plane to Catholicism and started praying.
Unfortunately now we’ve got a load of confirmed cases...
Why do the propellers of a plane go around and around?
To keep the pilot cool because if they stopped, man would he sweat
Last time I flew my plane a Navy pilot checked his speed right after me. Ground said he was doing 761 mph.
Knot gonna lie I think he was mach-ing me.
My son asked me how often planes crash
What do you call a plane full of tired pilots?
How do you fix Beyoncé's private plane
Who invented the first plane
art teacher: is that a bird or a plane
young clark kent: crumples self portrait
If a baby is born on a plane, i guess you could call it... airborn
A century ago, two brothers insisted that it was possible to fly ...
... and as you can see, they were Wright
Me and my plane had a fight
We now have thrust issues
My dad confiscated my weed so I stole his plane ticket.
I guess neither of us will be getting high.
Have you seen the movie about production methods of boats, planes, and bridges in the 20th century?
I can't remember the name but it's riveting.
What sound does a bouncy plane make?
What do you call a paper airplane that can't fly?
Two elephants and a snake fall out of a plane...
I’ve got this awful disease where I can’t stop telling airport jokes
My doctor says it’s terminal.
quit loafing around, i have a plane to get to
What do you call a plane that always lands rough?
A Vulture is about to get on a plane.
Do you have any baggage to declare?
No thanks, just carrion.
Why was Gimli so interested in plotting equations on an x-y coordinate plane?
He heard it involved axes.
A vulture was boarding a plane and he brought with him a dead racoon. The flight attendant, mortified by the sight and stench, pointed at the carcass and asked "Sir why did you bring a dead racoon with you."
The vulture said. "Oh this? This is my carrion luggage."
I think the girl at the Airlines check-in just threatened me.
She looked me dead in the eye and said, “Window or aisle?”
I laughed in her face and replied, “Window or you’ll what?”
Why didn’t the passengers receive flowers when their plane landed in Hawaii?
Their flight was deleied.
Give a man a plane ticket and he flies for the day.
Push him out of the plane at 30,000 feet and he’ll fly for the rest of his life.
Elon Musk should sell planes
That could really take off
I want to learn more facts about planes
But they keep going over my head.
Why did the momma plane say the son plane couldn't fly?
What happened to a male plane when it saw a female plane?
Red Barron Originally Planed To Incorporate an Amelia Earhart Line Of Pizzas Into Their Brand.
But didn't because they felt no one would be able to find them.
Apparently there was a crime that happened on the airplane that led to the plane crashing into the ocean.
The police are trying to investigate to figure out how it all went down.
I don’t know what it is about planes but
They seem to have really taken off recently.
A family is flying to Japan on vacation. The son ask "dad, are we there yet" the dad replies "not yet son"
A few hours later the plane lands in japan. The dad looks at his son and says "okinawa here"
I have this disease where I can’t stop signaling to planes for help.
The doctor told me my symptoms are flaring up.
What do you call a black guy that flys a plane?
My grandad was responsible for 28 downed german planes in WW2.
Still to this day holds the record as the worst mechanic the Luftwaffe ever had.
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