So a three pawed dog walks into a bar...
And says, "I'm lookin for the man who shot my paw."
I took the kids to see Paw Patrol live
Mama troll was nowhere in sight.
If your dog shakes hands with your enemy, has he committed a foe paw?
I told my kid we were gonna watch Paw Patrol, but instead I just showed him footage of K9 units training.
Guess that makes me a papa troll.
Just another day at the paw-ffice.
What’s the difference between a cat and a comma?
A cat has claws at the end of its paws, and a comma’s a pause at the end of a clause.
My cat came up to me and meowed imploringly then started massaging my leg with its paws...
A guy says he taught his dog Morse code. "Aye right Show me." Mate says. Guy turns to dog and asks "who's been a good boy then?" Dog uses paw on ground. Tap tap pause tap long pause tap pause tap pause tap long pause tap pause tap pause tap long pause tap tap tap pause tap. "what he say?" Mate asks
Who is Meghan Trainor’s favorite Paw Patrol Pup?
She is all about that Chase, bout that Chase, no Rubble
Daughter: Dad, can you pause the movie so I can grab a snack.
Dad: (grabs the cats paws and pushes them) Sorry, I'm pushing pause but it's not working!
So a bear walks into a bar.
The bear says to the bartender, “I’ll get a whiskey and a....... A beer.”
The bartender says, “Sure man, but what’s with the big pause?”
The bear would reply, “I don’t know, man. I was born with them.”
How do dogs take pictures with their phones?
I want to start a gas company that deals exclusively in fuel derived from dog fossils. It’s going to be called Paw Petrol.
How does a dog stop a TV show....
My wife and 2yo were just watching Paw Patrol. There is a cow mooing into a cell phone to video chat with the team to ask for help for a cat stuck on the roof.
I told my wife "That cat would have way more grip on roof shingles and I expect more I realism from talking cartoon cows. This is "UDDERLY" ridiculous."
She may have buried her head and avoided eye contact for a bit. I was proud.
A lion went to the doctor
He wasn't feline so good.
He's dead now
Let's paws and have a moment of silence.
Just a moment ago, my hands began to convulse, my fingernails turned into sharp talons, my palms became thick, hairy, and tough. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath and the feeling went away
I just had two paws for a moment
Petco has a new Covid vaccine for animals & humans. In tests, some people have reported excessive hair growth on their hands. I'm going to get it anyway...
but it does give me paws.
What is a small dog raising it paw on a summer day called?
I'm having trouble measuring my dog's paw length
The ruler is saying 2 inches but my eyes are saying it's a foot.
I couldn't believe that someone said they were going to turn me into an animal.
I saw a picture of a dog that had four prosthetic legs.
Couldn't understand why my dog was totally motionless....
Then I realised, it was on paws.
What animal is known for its paws?
A 3-legged dog walks into a saloon
He looks around and asks, “Who shot my paw?”
My daughter was having a pretend dinner party with her teddy bear, when she asked, “Do you want anything to eat, Mr. Bear?” In my best bear voice, I replied...
“No thanks, I’m stuffed!"
We need help naming some murderous cats.
We recently discovered mice in our pantry. Everyone’s advice? Get a cat. Apparently they are stone cold killers.
We made some calls and learned from our vet that they had two cats that need to be rehomed. I agreed to take them sight unseen. I think it’s a boy and girl but I don’t actually know. We pick them up next week.
We want to instill the right spirit into our mercenaries by naming them after famous murderers, but want to lighten the mood with puns.
So far we have come up with Jeffrey Paw-er but we are certain our Reddit friends can do better. We need male and female options. I understand one cat is black and the other is a brown mix.
We need help coming up with names, anyone up for the challenge??
wearing a fursuit is a social faux paw
Ice cube paw in my whiskey..
Nickolodean are doing an underwater version of paw patrol starting crabs
It's called Claw Patrol.
I managed to get a groan and an eye roll from the wife for that one
My dog has learned out to use the TV remote...
All she does is paws and unpaws.
What’s the difference between a lion with a thorn in its paw and a rainy day?
One roars with pain and the other pours with rain.
Paw Patrol sounds too much like papa troll for it not to be a dad joke
How do you get a dog to stop
I usually think on my feet, but when a curse turned me into a cat,
Boy does that dog look tired. I guess you could say he's ex-paw-sted
My dog stepped in blue paint with two of his paws
Hairy pupper and the half-blued prints.
I just ate a burger made out of bear meat
What's the difference between a cat and a comma?
One has claws at the end of its paws. The other has a pause at the end of its clause.
A three-legged dog walks into a bar...
He looks at the bartender and says, "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw."
A three legged dog walks into a saloon and says
I'm looking for the man who shot my paw.
What is the difference between a cat and a comma?
One has claws at the end of its paws, while the other is a pause at the end of a clause.
A 3 legged dog walks into the bar.
"I'm looking for the man who shot my paw."
A three-legged dog walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "I’m looking for the man who shot my paw."
A doggo walks into a bar and says ...
I’m looking for the man who shot my paw!
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