Grizzly on the rocks
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LazyAssassin99
πŸ“…︎ Sep 14 2020
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My daughter was having a pretend dinner party with her teddy bear, when she asked, β€œDo you want anything to eat, Mr. Bear?” In my best bear voice, I replied...

β€œNo thanks, I’m stuffed!"

πŸ‘︎ 10k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Apr 20 2020
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A bear walks into a bar and says "I want a gin.........and tonic." Bartender asks "why the big pause?"

Bear: holds up paws "cuz I'm a bear"

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jherin
πŸ“…︎ Aug 28 2020
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A grizzly bear walks into a bar

He sits down at the bar and says β€œBartender i’d like a whiskey........................and coke”

β€œSure thing” says the bartender β€œbut, why the big pause”?

The bear puts his paws in the air and says β€œoh, I’ve had these all my life”.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/plmcalli
πŸ“…︎ Mar 26 2020
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I thought my TV broke...

I was watching a documentary about how polar bears’ hands and feet have adapted to the snow when all of a sudden my TV froze.

It’s okay though, it was just on paws.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hufc1908
πŸ“…︎ Sep 23 2018
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Puns for Kids

The funniest and shortest puns for kids, you always remember while teaching children puns, try to choose the short ones because they are easy for them to remember and register.

Puns for Kids

Why are teddy bears never hungry? They are always stuffed!


What do you get when you cross a snake and a pie? A pie-thon!


Where do polar bears vote? The North Poll.


What did the judge say when the skunk walked into the court room? Odor in the court!


Two silkworms had a race. They ended up in a tie.


Why are fish so smart? Because they live in schools.


The streets in the capital of Afghanistan are paved with Kabulstones.


How does a lion greet the other animals in the field? Pleased to eat you.


What do you get when a chicken lays an egg on top of a barn? An egg roll!


No matter how much you push the envelope, it will still be stationery.


Why did the turkey cross the road? To prove he wasn’t chicken!


What musical is about a train conductor? β€œMy Fare, Lady”.


A man drowned in a bowl of muesli. A strong currant pulled him in.


What do you get from a pampered cow? Spoiled milk.


What animals are on legal documents? Seals!


Why did the lion spit out the clown? Because he tasted funny!


Why did the bumble bee leave the house? It heard the school was having a spelling bee.


Being struck by lightning is really a shocking experience!


How do celebrities stay cool? They have many fans!


Why do fish live in salt water? Because pepper makes them sneeze!


Dockyard: A physician’s garden.


What did the angry mother say to the boiling pot of spaghetti? Simmer down!


The lights were too bright at the Chinese restaurant so the manager decided to dim sum.


β€œWhat’s purple and 5000 miles long?” β€œOoh! I know! The Grape Wall of China!”


Every calendar’s days are numbered.


This duck walks into a bar and orders a beer. β€œFour bucks,” says the bartender. β€œPut it on my bill.”


I used to be twins. My mother has a picture of me when I was two.


What sound do porcupines make when they kiss? Ouch!


When does a well-dressed lion look like a weed? When he’s a dandelion (dandy lion).


Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a-salted.


A bicycle can’t stand on its own because it is

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Punsville
πŸ“…︎ Apr 25 2017
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Bear Walks into a Bar

A bear walks Into a bar, summons the bartender and says, 'I'll have a rum and ... ... ... Coke'. Bartender says,'why the long pause?' Bear replies, 'These?! (Looking at his paws), I've had these since birth!'

I'm here all week...

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πŸ“…︎ Jun 28 2013
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My daughter was carving soap at school.

She came home to tell us about her project; a bear. I asked how she did, she says she forgot to do the front paws of the bear. I told her to ask for the project back to fix it because...

She had the right to arm bears.

Actual dad joke I told.

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ“…︎ Jan 19 2017
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Went to see The Revenant tonight with my buddy

Made the comment after the movie that it was 'grizzly'. Followed it up by saying I 'bearly' made it thru the movie. I then apologized for the 'big paws' between my jokes.

There were audible groans by the couple walking out in front of us.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2016
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A bear walks into a bar

Bartender: What’ll ya have?

Bear: I’ll have a............ Whiskey.

Bartender: Why the long pause?

Bear looks at his paws: I’m a bear.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/zxCypher
πŸ“…︎ Sep 09 2019
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A bear goes into a bar...

and says "-could I get a gin and........... tonic?".

Bartender says: "sure, but what's with the pause?".

Bear says: "I was born with them".

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tnethacker
πŸ“…︎ Sep 19 2016
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