In Pantry Puns

What a waist of thyme.

Because it’s a thyme consuming activity.

...I got Rich Quick.

I told her to give them some sake, then they'd be drunken noodles.

Oops... Told ME.

We recently discovered mice in our pantry. Everyone’s advice? Get a cat. Apparently they are stone cold killers.

We made some calls and learned from our vet that they had two cats that need to be rehomed. I agreed to take them sight unseen. I think it’s a boy and girl but I don’t actually know. We pick them up next week.

We want to instill the right spirit into our mercenaries by naming them after famous murderers, but want to lighten the mood with puns.

So far we have come up with Jeffrey Paw-er but we are certain our Reddit friends can do better. We need male and female options. I understand one cat is black and the other is a brown mix.

We need help coming up with names, anyone up for the challenge??

Me: You know, this lemonade is a pretty good deal, but only if you get three cases of it. And I don't want to take up that much room in the pantry.

Roommate: It's a dilemmonade.

Now they are in the kitchen making dinner. My husband pulls a box of Uncle Ben's out of the pantry and then grabs a soup ladle off the counter and is now dancing around singing,

laaadle riiiiiiice ladle rice

We have a big bag of walnuts in our pantry. In discussing what we should do with them my dad said in all seriousness "walnuts cost $20 a bag, isn't that nuts?" Laughing in a very obvious way I said "haha nuts" and my mom and sister groaned while my dad chuckled.

While my wife was in the kitchen fixing a snack, (after putting our little boy down for a nap) she says:

"Did you seriously eat all the peanut butter and then put the jar back in the pantry?"

Me: Damn Skippy

As her groans became stronger, I exited stage left

Upon noticing moths in our pantry, my dad, mom and I try to figure out what food they have gotten into.

Mom: Do you think they got into the life cereal?

Dad: I really hope not. If they did that would be the end of my life.