Pantry Panic Puns

When I opened my pantry door earlier today, a single moth flew out. I've had a pantry moth infestation before (in animal food in the garage, never in the house) so I know how awful it can be and how long it can take to fix. I've just started buying a little extra here and there so I don't have a lot of air tight glass containers or anything. I've popped my flour and dried beans into the freezer but it's pretty full and I can't fit anything else in there yet. There is still a big bag of rice and some pasta in the pantry (along with canned goods and mustard etc.). I have an old sticky trap (not sure how effective it still is) that I put in there today and will pick up a new set tomorrow. I am thinking that I can just keep an eye out at this point rather than do the whole throw-everything-away, right? And anyone who wants to remind me that a single moth does not an infestation make would be appreciated.

Or could it be that rather than having divinely-inspired leadership that has prepared them for catastrophe, the prophets have actually been cultivating a deeply-seated sense of fear and paranoia that has had the opposite effect?

Either way, I love living far from Utah. The stores have had a run here too, but I can still get almost all the groceries I want.

I recently went to my local grocery store and found the only things left were all the expensive items which I definitely do not have the money for. I’ve seen this site posted here before and found it very useful, you basically list what you already have and it tells you what you can make - I then use that to organise what I’m going to buy for the week.

Check it out here https://www.cookmind.com

I saw the video on youtube, and they claim that it is part of the public domain, and is the only Woody Woodpecker cartoon to date that is. How did this happen if it's true, why aren't earlier cartoons public domain as well then?

Husband has lived here essentially all his life (since the late 60s), says that he doesn’t remember shelves being empty or a run on the stores every time a front rolled in. But he can’t pinpoint when it started, either.

I moved to the area 1993, and I feel like it’s been like this as long as I’ve lived here.

ETA; if you’re putting, “It’s been this way all my life,” maybe add how old you are so we know if you mean 18 years or 80? I’m interested to read all these different answers.

I currently just buy groceries for myself but every time I go to the shops, I feel the need to buy ingredients for pasta or something else JUST IN CASE panic buying starts up again and I’ll be left with empty shelves.

I definitely don’t go over the top. I just buy one can each of beans, corn, diced tomato, but since I’ve started an excel spreadsheet to track my spending, I’m wondering if I could be saving money by being more pantry minimalistic but I truly am torn with the way things are these days with shelves being empty here and there, and this is surely only the beginning of the panic buying spree (big sigh).

Is this normal? Are others feeling the same way? Would love to hear everybody’s thoughts and feelings about coping during these stressful times and find out how you guys are handling the panic buying situation.

Is it making you guys less minimalistic or ? Pls let me know :)

Well I'm happy and a little surprised most things have resolved a little more than 24hrs after they started. I guess this is the benefit of people working on your behalf behind the scenes.

Also wanted to thank all of those who engaged on the last post. I appreciated the support and knew you'd understand my venting. RIP the inbox...but I did read everything and you all are the best reddit community. Not a single troll, which I think might be a Reddit miracle.

So onto the update. I'm writing this with a pot of hot tea and recommend you do the same....this is going to be long.

Well well well.... all of your guts were right. A broken water heater making a family of 5 need alternative housing was fishy...

Especially since Dave doesn't even have a water heater. It was all a lie!

(cue all of you going I KNEW IT)

So here's the deal....

Dave sold his house 6 months ago and him and his wife (Shelly) have been trying to buy a bigger home ever since. They're right now, as I type this, already in a hotel with their kids. They have plenty of hot water.

I can imagine all of you nodding your heads up and down saying yep yep yep yep yep. I knew you guys wanted an update because the water heater excuse sounded bullshit.

So here it is...seriously get yourself some tea...

So my sister is in another time zone and has a few hours on me. She apparently has been working on finding out about Dave. Her husband used to moonlight as a PI in grad school and she has a preternatural ability of finding details about people. She's a little creep in a good way. She also has a social media presence where I do not.

I gave her Dave's full real name and things I knew about him (like an address I had for him and names of his wife and the two kids I know). She went to town.

She told me that his home went on the market about 6mo ago and sold pretty quick for a ton more than what it was bought for years ago. It's a sellers market and it was a huge sale.

I was like......oh that's so interesting.

She then went to say that she looked around in the city and surrounding towns and couldn't find him buying any other property. That it looked like his house sold for $$$$ but that's it.

So I then texted my two friends from yesterday. I told them what my sister found. That it looks like Dave sold his house and doesn't actually have a water heater problem because he doesn't have a water heater.

My friends were like....wtf.

So one of the two friends (Allison) got in touc

I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.

Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.

Chapter 92

The Abyss layer 113, Thanatos. Throne room of Everlost Palace. Earlier that day.

Agy was back on his perch behind Orcus in the Everlost Palace. He had given Orcus the bad news about the loss of his undead army, all of his army, and was rewarded with the gift of undeath. Now with his skeletal wings and skeletal body Agy no longer had to worry about getting tired or eating or drinking. He still hungered for things though, he longed for the cold embrace of moist soil and the taste of living flesh. But he would have to eat later. Right now Agy was watching Orcus use a scrying orb to find the one responsible for his lack of an undead army.

Orcus knew that this Lilith creature must have been related to the actions of Lathander as her conquest of the 600th layer of the Abyss had happened at the same time that his undead army in Thanatos disappeared. But he had no idea what they looked like so he was unable to scry on them without a face to put to the name. With that being a dead end he decided to scry on Delvia instead. Somehow she was alive even though every other demon in the Endless Maze had been killed, even Baphomet. But more importantly she had destroyed one of his symbols and killed one of his servants. And while it was unthinkable for a demon to work with a god like Lathander he suspected her survival might point at that very possibility. “Is that Kali walking by her side? And since when did Delvia travel with snakes around her neck?” He asked one of his generals.

“I have a report here on Kali my lord.” the Goristro said as he lifted a large book from a near by shelf and placed it on a desk next to the Demon Lord.

Agy gulped at the sight of the large tome. ‘I wouldn’t want to get shut inside of that one.’ he thought his skeletal tail twitching at the mere sight of the massive book.

“Why do we have such a large file on Kali? How much time and resources did you spend looking in on this reject of a god?” Orcus asked his voice thundering with anger.

“Well master, she was once believed to be interested in killing you and taking over your godly domain of death. You know back when you were still a god.”

“You fools this pitiful woman tends to her forest and sculpts her island of bones. She does nothing else. She is a shut in and would have never dared raise a hand against me. Meanwhile Kiaransalee blind sided us and killed me taking my divinity. You lot

Hello all. I have been reading in this community with great interest for the last little while, and I was wondering if anyone had any advice for this issue.

I have a one-person household - me. During the beginning of the pandemic, especially, I stress-bought quite a few pantry items. (various gluten free flours, baking mixes, canned goods.) I also have a small weekly farmshare which gives me vegetables.

This past year, I tried to cook regularly, and to blanch and freeze vegetables before they went bad.

The problem I have is the ultimate first world problem: my pantry and freezer are both stuffed full. When I make a recipe, it usually lasts for a good chunk of the week, since I live alone. So I can't seem to cook through things fast enough - and now, I no longer have room to freeze leftovers.

What also doesn't help is that I have clutter problems bc of my own lack of cleaning and tendency to leave crap in piles. And I get into constant downward panic spirals about it. I just opened my fridge and got smacked with the smell of spinach going off, though I meant to make it into saag a week ago. Add that to my messy apartment and I feel like a complete adulting failure. And I'm 40!

Does anyone have any advice, on what to do to better organize/streamline making food?

Edited: thank all of you who have commented, for your advice and encouragement. I'm making a pantry inventory this evening. I'll do my best to reply, after inventory, to individuals.

So far the record is held by a big jar of Kirkland peanut butter. How old? Exp. 1/2020. Eek!

The Four Winds Part 3

Hello, all! I am beyond excited to share this read with everyone. I have some close ties with this read. My grandmother, her mother, father, and three brothers were from Heavener, Oklahoma. They moved to California in the early/mid-1940's and became migrant farmers until they purchased their own property in Central California and worked at factories (which are also seasonal but stationary). Many of these events reminded me of the stories I would hear growing up, but now that my grandmother has Alzheimer's it is difficult to ask her questions of her girlhood due to cognitive response. My great-grandmother would also share experiences with me and was one of the hardest working people I knew. I wish I could have shared with both of them how wonderful they were, and now I just hope they're proud of me. I also wish for them to know that their difficult life, their poverty, their struggles, have allowed me to have this incredible life. The first to go to college, the first to be able to travel with leisure, and the first to not live paycheck to paycheck. So this reading is just very special and I am happy to be apart of it. Thank you all for reading with us.

There were some terms that I wanted to look up:

*Jalopy - As the Great Depression took over the country, the market for cheap transportation grew. Some car dealerships made their bones by selling beat up cars for very little money.

*California as the Golden State in the USA - Between California's explosive growth following the discovery of gold in 1848, the fields of golden poppies that appear each spring throughout the state, the golden gate bridge, and the clear, golden coastal sunsets over the Pacific - California truly is the golden state! Gold is also one of California's official state colors and the state mineral.

• San Joaquin Valley - San Joaquin Valley, valley in central California, U.S., the southern part of the state’s vast Central Valley. Lying between the Coast Ranges (west) and the Sierra Nevada (east), it is drained largely by the San Joaquin River.

• Okie - Beginning in the 1920s in California,

They were cooked in Greece.

I've posted here before and gotten helpful insight so I figure why not try another? This one has me confused, I was not expecting to be seen in the wrong here.

For context, I am 23M, and I am in home improvement. I need a pickup truck so I can put tools and job materials in the bed. It's also not like I have a huge truck with a diesel or 5th wheel mod or anything, it's just your standard short-box, full-cab F150. (2004 and I bought it used last year)

I am in my local hardcore punk scene, and as you can imagine, there's a lot of people in the scene who are into social justice, environmentalism, politics, vegetarian/veganism, etc. (including me!) One girl, who I'll call Sarah, is veeeeery preachy. I don't mean she's passionate and I find it annoying, I mean she's rude, condescending, and treats "wokeness" like a competition and is always trying to one-up others.

After a show I went to this weekend, me and some of my friends were sitting in my truck, half hanging out, half getting ready to go (we had carpooled). A lot of us in the scene know each other, so we were talking to people that were passing by, which happened to include Sarah and 3 friends she was with. We said hello and they joined into our conversation, until Sarah kind of butted in and asked if the truck was mine. After I said it was, she asked what kind of fuel milage it got. I said "I think about 16 miles to the gallon, I hadn't really looked it up or anything I just bought it because it was available and what I needed" She goes "You don't know? That doesn't surprise me." I ask what she means by that. She says "it's just typical of a truck owner to not care about how much waste they pump into the air." I told her that was pretty standard gas mileage for a pickup truck in my price range. She says "Exactly, and you chose to buy a truck." I ask "Have you considered I might need a truck? I build and install cabinets for a living. Have you ever tried to strap a pantry to a prius?" This got a laugh out of my friends and some of the dudes we were chatting with before and that's when she went red in the face and stormed off with her friends.

One of her friends messages me on SM later that night to say that I humiliated her and caused her to have a panic attack, and I saw a few sub-tweets that I think were aimed in my direction with words like "mansplaining." I think I might be the asshole for those reasons and because I caused a group of people to laugh at her, which wasn't my intention, I just want

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂

It really does, I swear!

Because she wanted to see the task manager.

Hey everyone. I’ve been busy researching all the ways my body is betraying me and the latest was a severe hay-fever-like response after eating avocados. We’re taking itchy, watery eyes, out of control sneezing, wheezing, shortness of breath. Turns out it’s a histamine intolerance response. Apparently, it’s something that can show up during peri menopause due to the hormonal fluctuations. Not only can there be a typical allergy-like response (sorry I keep using that word), but other symptoms are; itching, brain fog, migraines, hives, insomnia, heart palpitations, anxiety and panic attacks, and depression. All our favorites! Now, I’m taking a break from; avocados, tomatoes, eggplants, spinach, all fermented foods (wine included), chocolate, all vinegar (I have 6 different kinds in my pantry right now), all soy foods and additives, strawberries, citrus, bananas, almonds, walnuts, legumes (including peanuts), gluten, and mushrooms. I already didn’t do meat and dairy. The research also says I can trigger a histamine response from; stress, exercise, mold. I’m sharing because, until last week, I didn’t know there was a name for this, and established protocols. I remember my mom and my aunt developing mysterious mid-life allergies/asthma. I can live without chocolate if it means I can think and breath clearly. Here’s a link with more info if this sounds familiar Your Mystery Food Sensitivity Might Actually Be a Histamine Intolerance

Heard they've been doing some shady business.

but then I remembered it was ground this morning.

Edit: Thank you guys for the awards, they're much nicer than the cardboard sleeve I've been using and reassures me that my jokes aren't stale

Edit 2: I have already been made aware that Men In Black 3 has told a version of this joke before. If the joke is not new to you, please enjoy any of the single origin puns in the comments

BamBOO!

They’re on standbi

Do your worst!

I'm surprised it hasn't decade.

A play on words.