21 Hilarious Go Home Puns - Punstoppable 🛑

When I left home to go on a business trip, my wife said "Don't forget to write"

I thought, "That's unlikely... it's a basic skill, isn't it?"

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👤︎ u/EmBeeCSGO

📅︎ Dec 21 2020

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My German friend Hans got so drunk on American light beer we had to carry him to the truck to go home...

We had to hold Hans.

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👤︎ u/thomasbrakeline

📅︎ Dec 08 2020

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A peasant's wife told him to go get milk for the baby. Dutifully, he went to the market with the baby and brought home a hefty jug of milk. "You've forgotten the baby!" she exclaimed.

"No I haven't... I got milk for the baby!"

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👤︎ u/Catillionaire

📅︎ Nov 18 2020

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I told the dentist my teeth were hurting so he told me to go home and drink some Whiskey

So I gave it a shot

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👤︎ u/FrescoIX

📅︎ Oct 06 2020

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As a doctor, whenever I hear someone crying from the waiting room that they want to get a lollipop and go home, I think to myself

They must be a little patient.

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👤︎ u/garbagearmy

📅︎ Jul 25 2020

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My dad drinks too much at parties and starts yelling racial epithets and my mom rushes to get him to go home...

She knows it's time to leave when he starts slurring his words.

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👤︎ u/thomasbrakeline

📅︎ Jul 10 2019

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My wife asked me, “Could you go to the store and buy one gallon of milk and if they have avocados, get 6.” When I came home with 6 gallons of milk, she shrieked, “Why in the world did you buy 6 gallons of milk!?”

I replied, “They had avocados.”

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👤︎ u/madazzahatter

📅︎ Mar 24 2018

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"I’m pretty tired… I think I’ll go home now."

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👤︎ u/megabits

📅︎ Jan 06 2017

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On the 31st of December whilst leaving home to go to a New Years Party, your dad says ...

See you next year

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👤︎ u/alberj

📅︎ Dec 27 2018

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Why did the shopper have to go home after getting into a fight over clothes on Black Friday?

Because she got socked in the face.

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👤︎ u/MajesticSunset7

📅︎ Nov 25 2018

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After a long trip back home, my mother announced “If anyone has to go to the restroom, go now.” And I continued:

“Or forever hold your pee!”

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👤︎ u/Liqqa

📅︎ Jul 21 2018

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Where do ultra conservative Muslims go to buy trinkets, crafts, and home goods?

Wahhabi Lobby

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👤︎ u/GeorgieWashington

📅︎ May 23 2017

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After we had our baby the Nurse was like “before you go home you have to watch the video about shaken babies

I told her, no need. I already know how to shake them.

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👤︎ u/mooseLimbsCatLicks

📅︎ Mar 05 2018

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After riding bicycles with my dad all morning, he had to go home and rest.

Because he was two tired

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👤︎ u/Marebleman

📅︎ Apr 06 2018

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My dad had to go home because he was "elbow deep" in ants. imgur.com/jt5dJFp

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👤︎ u/VVTF_iz_Wright

📅︎ Nov 15 2013

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Network Engineer. Stuck at work monitoring the help desk so everyone else can go home early for the holiday. Watching The Godfather. imgur.com/VKpoxpm

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👤︎ u/Sir_Mulberry

📅︎ Dec 30 2016

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Where does a ghost go after it's been exorcised from a home?

It joins the IRS and begins repossessing houses

(My first attempt at a Dad joke)

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👤︎ u/dakotathehuman

📅︎ Apr 23 2017

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I'm Pretty Tired. I Think I'll Go Home Now.

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👤︎ u/Svrdhd

📅︎ May 19 2013

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Told my boss that I had to go home because I was too tired...

http://imgur.com/a/oJs9s

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👤︎ u/hctibasiaixelsyd

📅︎ Mar 04 2017

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Where does Buzz Lightyear go for his home furnishings?

To Bed, Bath, and BEYOND!

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👤︎ u/Bullroarer_Took

📅︎ Sep 29 2013

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My Dad makes this home every time we go out for Chinese food

Me: "I'll have a wonton soup please." Dad to waitress: " Wonton? That seems pretty heavy you think you can carry that out here? Brother: "And I'll have a wonton also." Dad: "Two tons? Wow."

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👤︎ u/Banana_Man15

📅︎ May 06 2014

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