Two drunk guys were about to get into a brawl. One of the guys grabs a stick and draws a line in the dirt and says "If you cross this line, I'll hit you in the face".
What do you get when an alternating current and a direct current run into each other in a wire?
I've invented a new golf ball that will automatically go into the hole if it gets within 4 inches...
DO NOT carry them in your back pocket.
Guess who I bumped into on my way to get my glasses fixed...
What do you call a monkey that cant get into his house?
Two drunk guys were about to get into a fight, when one draws a line in the dirt and slurs, “If you cross this, I’ll hit you in the face.”
/r/Jokes/comments/jx9abu/…
A rope walks into a bar. The bartender looks up and says says, “Get out. We don’t serve rope in here.” So the rope goes out, cuts itself in two before tying the two sections together. It then pulls out a comb and combs its ends. The rope then walks back into the bar.
The bartender says, “Hey! Aren’t you the rope that I just threw out?”
The rope replied, “No. I’m a frayed knot.”
My 16 year old son told me I was a simp (probably because I'm looking to get into a new relationship), after I looked up the meaning I told him:
You must be a Simpson then.
A man goes into surgery to get his Appendix removed.
Unfortunately, the doctor cut a little too deep and the man's organs began to spill out onto the operating table....
...
...
"Well, it looks you have a table of contents now" says the medical assistant.
Why do Australian bees never get into trouble?
Because they always beehive
They told me a mask was enough to get into the supermarket ...
they lied, everybody else had their clothes on.
A weasel walks into a bar. The bartender says “Wow, I’ve never served a weasel before. What can I get you?”
Hitchcock, Spielberg, Nolan and Scorsese get into a knife fight
A Hotel and B&B get into...
A Hotel and B&B get into an argument. The argument escalates fast! B&B, "You're just a glorified studio apartment!". Hotel, "Woah woah, why so Hostel?".
Never get into a conversation with a flying reptile
Their conversations always dragon for way too long
Why didn't the chicken get into the club?
Because it was a turkey club
What do you get if you plug your foot into the mains
This might be hard to get, but a Man walks into a tavern and..ahh forget it.
Mike Tyson and I were talking about our friend Sarah who had just gotten into town. I asked, "so, how did she get from L.A. to here?" He replied...
There’s only one super hero who can get into this frozen dinner
My girlfriend and I broke up at summer camp. We got into an argument over which canoe to get take.
She got in one and I the other. Then we just drifted apart.
What do you get when you throw a bomb into a French kitchen?
I read online that you are significantly more likely to get into an accident within 5 miles of your house.
I went to get my fortune told. I walked into the lobby and asked the receptionist if there was a fee.
She just shook her head and said "This is a non-prophet organization."
Max Planck and Zeno of Elea get into a huge bar fight over a slight disagreement. Who won?
Damn I heard about this one cult, but it’s really hard to get into
I guess you could say it’s pretty diffi-cult.
If you get into a pillow fight with death...
Be prepared for the reaper cushions.
How do I get into hunting?
I'm aiming for where to start. All of my resources are shot. I'm gunning to go soon. Please be a deer and let me know.
I've herd the animals go out with a bang.
There's a discount to get into our local aquarium, as long as you're camping, or dressed as a dolphin.
So, to all in tents and porpoises, it's free!
What is the best way to get into college?
What did the man get when he ran into a palm tree?
An acronym walked into a blood-bank and asked to get his blood-type checked. Nurse said...
No need. You're a Type-o.
What do you call a shape that gets into a car accident?
When I get into the shower naked
The shower gets turned on.
What do you get when you throw a hand grenade into a French bathroom?
I was queuing up to get into the supermarket yesterday. Dwayne Johnson was in front of me. Behind me was a fish holding the trolley above his head!
I was between The Rock and a hard Plaice
Guess who I bumped into on my way to get my glasses fixed?
Guess who I bumped into on my way to get my glasses fixed
A weasel walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Wow, I've never served a weasel before. What can I get for you?
"
"Pop," goes the weasel.
Two drunk guys were about to get into a fight, when one draws a line in the dirt and slurs, “If you cross this line, I’ll hit you in the face.”
That was the punchline...
Guess who I bumped into on my way to get my glasses fixed
A weasel walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Wow, I've never served a weasel before. What can i get you?"
Two drunk guys were about to get into a fight. One draws a line in the dirt and says, “If you cross this line, I’ll hit you in the face.”
What do you call a pasta that can’t get into their house?
A weasel walks into a bar. The bartender says "Wow, I've never served a weasel before. What can I get you?"
Two drunk guys were about to get into a fight. One draws a line in the dirt and says, "If you cross this line, I'll hit you in the face."
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